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Queery: Brian Pendleton

The #ResistMarch organizer answers 20 gay questions

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University of Tennessee, gay news, Washington Blade

Brian Pendleton, standing before the RETNA mural at West Hollywood Library, helped Los Angeles express itself in 2017. (Photo courtesy Pendleton)

Brian Pendleton, perhaps more than any other person in LGBTQ Los Angeles during 2017, defined the year. He tapped into an extraordinary zeitgeist of fear and frustration and did what he is famous for; he transformed that energy into a positive force for good and helped launch what became an empowerment movement with #ResistMarch.

It was an extraordinary display of action on his part.

#ResistMarch evolved from an angry Facebook post about Trump’s escalating attacks on civil rights, a post that went viral. Within weeks it seemed the whole city was resisting.

Pendleton began organizing. Meetings were held, intersectional committees were formed, money was raised, politicians and agencies agreed (a miracle in itself) and eventually LA Pride saw the writing on the wall and turned the iconic gay pride parade over to Brian. It grew and grew and by late spring it was clear that what was about to take place on Hollywood Boulevard would be extraordinary.

The day, June 11, itself was an alchemy that transformed not just a parade but a people. Hundreds of thousands showed up, clogging Hollywood Boulevard with a defiant but jubilant crowd the likes of which the famed street has not seen in years. From La Cienega to well past Vine, people stood up for themselves and marched the miles-long route to West Hollywood. It was as if our community had returned to its roots for inspiration and a jolt of energy as a fractured community set its differences aside and joined a movement.

“Everyone is important here. Our civil rights are under attack and we must respond as powerfully as we can….together,” he told the Los Angeles Blade on the day of the march. “Immigrants of all status, Dreamers, women who care about reproductive rights, men, people of every gender expression, every color, creed, every race and nationality. We all have a stake in this.”

Over the past decades, Brian, who is 22 years sober, honed that skill by crafting grand scale, interactive fundraising events for large charitable organizations and causes that poured more than $1 billion into medical research and patient support for people living with AIDS, cancer and other diseases.

Brian’s defiance, his love of the community and his ability to commandeer such a successful and pivotal event helped a lot of people get through a year that at times seemed perilous.

Someone find an office for this man to run for!!

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I’ve been out since 1990 and my Rush Limbaugh listening Republican father was the toughest person to tell. He was also the most welcoming and loving about the news. I wish I hadn’t waited so long.

Who’s your LGBT hero?
There are so many incredibly important heroes in our community. It’s impossible to say who’s been the most impactful to our movement. Of course, several at the top of the list for our larger movement for equality would be Harvey Milk, Marsha P Johnson, and Rev. Troy Perry. For me personally, Dr. Scott Hitt. When I was newly sober he took me under his wing and taught me how to be involved and philanthropic. He set a great example for how to be a good man and to pay it forward.

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?
Well, I’ve been around long enough to have fun at a LOT of places. For sentimental reasons, “Probe” stands out in my mind.

Describe your dream wedding.
I’ve already experienced it. I married my husband Chad Goldman in an intimate gathering on the rooftop of the L’Ermitage Hotel in Beverly Hills with only close friends and family there. We were lucky to have enthusiastic support from both of our families. We married in 2008 before Prop 8 put our union in limbo.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Education. Chad and I have helped build schools in the Philippines for children growing up in poverty, helped fund the West Hollywood Library and established college scholarships for U.S. students. Educated societies generally make better choices.

What historical outcome would you change?
I would rescue Matthew Shepard from that roadside fencepost.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
Too numerous to list here but most recently Hamilton! I see it as often as I can!

On what do you insist?
Brevity.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
Doug Jones!

If your life were a book, what would the title be?
Count Your Blessings

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I would change Trump’s sexual orientation! Mine would remain the same.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
I’m very spiritual. I believe in a higher power and the Golden Rule.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Remember the B, the T, the Q, the I, the A, the G and every intersectional member who make up our rich community.

What would you walk across hot coals for?
A no-sugar-added, nonfat vanilla latte from the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and a friend in need.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
That we’re all supposed to like movies with a cult gay following, like “The Sound of Music.” I’ve never seen it.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“Milk” and “The Bird Cage.” It’s a Tie

What’s the most overrated social custom?
Long dinners. I’m an eat-n-go kind of guy.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?
I covet seeing our community at peace and moving forward in solidarity.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?
Be fearless.

Why Los Angeles?
I’m originally from Los Angeles. I’m one of those insulated people that never left his hometown!

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Miscellaneous

Social Justice PolitiCorps spotlight on Trans activist Ebony Ava Harper

#BlackTransLivesMatter

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Ebony Ava Harper (Photo courtesy of California TRANScends)

By Andi Bianchi | SACRAMENTO, CA. – The Social Justice PolitiCorps, (SJPV) is an organization in the state’s capital city devoted to crowdsourcing political information as it relates to social justice and disseminate it what the organization terms an accessible manner so “we can be proactive instead of reactive.”

As part of that mission, SPJC’s blog this week is spotlighting and acknowledging a brilliant visionary here in the Sacramento community, who is working tirelessly to better the lives of trans folxs. Her name is Ebony Harper.

She is an award-winning, nationally-recognized, activist and humanitarian. She identifies as a Black trans woman (pronouns she/her/hers), and she has spent a good majority of her career fighting for justice and equality, not only for the transgender community, but for ALL the members of our community.

Ebony currently serves as a Program Director at Public Health Advocates (PHA), and as the Program Manager for California TRANScends (which exists in partnership with PHA and the California Endowment). California TRANScends is a statewide initiative that works to promote the health and wellness of transgender people throughout the state of California.

SJPC sat down with Ebony to ask her more about what drives her fierce and unrelenting drive to take part in social justice activism.

What does social justice mean to you?

That we fight for those who don’t have a voice, that we provide a voice for those who can’t speak. Social justice to me means fighting for the most marginalized, it means changing the culture so that we create a more loving community.”

“It means giving the most marginalized an equal shot at life.”

“Social justice means dismantling all the systems that oppress people, including climate issues, which are strongly tied to racial injustice.”

Why are you involved in social justice?

“I’m a big ol’ Black trans woman, so I have no choice BUT to be involved in social justice, because facing society means engaging in the fight for social justice.

My existence pushes back against the narrative, and against the cookie-cutter mold we put the world in, society is hostile towards my existence. Then also, experiencing ostracization and marginalization myself has resulted in me not wanting others to feel that way, and in wanting to make life better for all marginalized communities.”

How do you self care to keep fighting for social justice?

“I disconnect when I need to, and I connect with my chosen family and friends. I travel when I need to get away from work and everything. I sometimes go home to Jamaica and visit and connect with family there. I struggle with self-care at times, but I do affirm that self-care is critical to the movement, and our mental health needs to be taken care of. Self-care, for me, is also being vulnerable and connecting with others, and sharing my story. My self-care often looks different depending on the day.”

We want to thank Ebony for her time and energy. Please support her and her work in any way that you can so that she can keep fighting the good fight. #BlackTransLivesMatter

Andi Bianchi, a transmale, is the editor of the Social Justice PolitiCorps blog.

The preceding article was originally published by the Social Justice PolitiCorps blog and is republished by permission.

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a&e features

Queery: Amir Moini

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In his book by the same name, there are “22 life lessons” that Netflix employee, Amir Moini, wants to share with you during LGBTQ History Month.

Amir Moini.

While you might wonder what might this handsome young man might be able to help you with that you already haven’t experienced, you may be surprised at the fresh outlook and optimism that fills every page. 

This self-help book, coming from “someone more f*cked up then you”, boldly takes us thru his journey of early adulthood and self- discovery of the importance of mental health while navigating thru financial difficulty, a tumultuous relationship, his mother’s alcoholism and coming out on the other side finding peace and happiness with everything around him.

Moini’s optimism is clearly present through out the book and within the first pages if you don’t already know him, you quickly want to invite him for a virtual coffee just to help you navigate through this interesting year. It’s his optimism and uninhibited passages that have you rooting for him throughout his journey.

When perusing his Instagram page you are once again treated to that optimism and growth which takes you from LA to Amsterdam and various places in between while you continue to admire this young man with the infectious smile who spends his work days creating Employee Branding opportunities for Netflix.

Moini’s goal is simple – inspire, lead by example, and embrace your complete journey – as messy or imperfect as it may be. 

“We are alive once, and then it is gone – it is worth living fully open and vulnerable,” he writes in Chapter 21 entitled, Let Go of the Shame.Start letting of your own shame and order your own copy of “22 Life Lessons” at: https://www.amazon.com/Life-Lessons-Someone-More-cked/dp/B088N94CKC

To learn more about Amir Moini – Follow him on Instagram @amirmichael89 

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell? I came out in 2006 when I was 17 years old, so I’ve been out for almost 15 years now. It’s wild to think that I’ve almost been out more years than in. The hardest person to tell was the first person because it made it real, which happened to be my best friend from home. 

Who’s your LGBTQ hero? Marsha P. Johnson. Johnson was one of the prominent people involved in the Stonewall uprising in 1969 and deserves more recognition. 

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present? Putting me on the spot! Some of my favorite LGBTQ bars are Cobra (which recently shut down unfortunately) and the top floor of Mickey’s because of the music. Oil Can Harry’s is a gem. And I’ll never say no to Karaoke in K-town. My favorite places for a drink are Lock & Key, Chateau Marmont, and Birds & Bees. 

Describe your dream wedding. Simple, sleek, and small. I want to actually enjoy it versus worrying about too many details. 

What non-LGBTQ issue are you most passionate about? Environmental reform. 

What historical outcome would you change? I mean, don’t we all know that one… 

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime? Britney changed my life. Everything she does is pop culture.  

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet? Promoting a campaign for work. 

If your life were a book, what would the title be? I actually do have a book! It’s called 22 Life Lessons By Someone More F*cked Up Than You, which I published earlier this year on Amazon.  

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do? Being gay is a gift, so I would do nothing with that information. 

What do you believe in beyond the physical world? Karma. 

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders? Take breaks because we’re in it for the long haul. Self care is important to be our best selves. 

What would you walk across hot coals for? The people in my life that I love. 

What’s your favorite LGBT movie? To Wong Foo is such a classic and was ahead of its time. 

What’s the most overrated social custom? I don’t understand people who wear shoes on in the house. I like my place super clean. 

What trophy or prize do you most covet? It’s a stretch, but getting picked to be a lead in a Playground dance class and being in one of their videos. It’s something I always wanted to do and I worked really hard to get there. So that video is a prize to me that I can look back on. 

What do you wish you’d known at 18? Take in all the moments with your friends and family. I wish I spent more time with my grandmother and asked her more questions before she passed.  

Why Los Angeles? I’ve lived here 7 years and I still discover new things. Every day here is an adventure and you never know what’s going to happen. For example, one time I was on the couch bored on a Friday night (pre-Covid) and three hours later I was at a club on stage with Iggy Azaela. Only in LA. 

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2020 Election

David Vela wants your vote

The LA Community College District leader answers 20 queer questions

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Angeleno David Vela is a member of the Board of Trustees for the Los Angeles Community College District, Seat 3, and a familiar face around town. You may have heard from him recently and if you haven’t yet, you will. He’s passionate about college affordability and access and has always been a strong champion in the community to see others succeed, and, well, he wants your vote.

For the past two years, Vela has pushed the system to make sure students come first, demanding cutting edge curriculum and fighting for budgets that are fair and balanced. And he has made looking out for LGBTQ students of color a particular priority.

Vela is passionate about making it possible for students to  reach their educational goals as quickly as possible and without putting them in debt in the process.

As a current trustee, former community college instructor, County Supervisor’s Deputy and school board member, Vela has the experience to govern in times of crisis.

His experience and knowledge of government proved to be an asset during the COVID-19 pandemic that plagues the district. Vela ensured that the district converted to online courses immediately to avoid the interruption of studies, again, proving his dedication to his students in the LA community colleges.

Vela grew up in Los Angeles and early on, knew that education was the key to get him to where he wanted to go, having been encouraged by his mom who raised him by herself and instilled in him the importance of going to college and graduate school.

Vela holds his undergrad degree from UCLA and his master’s degree from Pepperdine University. His interest in education continued and he served an eight-year tenure on the Montebello Unified School District Board of Education, from 2007-2015.

Vela currently resides in Montebello as well.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I have been out for the last 15 years. The hardest person to tell was my mother because I feared that she would reject me but I was wrong. Ultimately she became my biggest supporter and friend.

Who’s your LGBTQ hero?

My biggest LGBTQ heroes are Victory Fund, EQCA, Honor PAC Stonewall Democrats and the Stonewall Young Democrats. I really feel that they are passionate about LGBT causes but also the fact that they don’t shy away from holding us LGBT leaders accountable.

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?

I will always feel at home at Redline in Downtown LA. I feel Oliver Alpuche the owner has really opened up his spot for people of all colors and ages. He has the right attitude to survive in LA.

Describe your dream wedding.

Awww very simple on a remote island with close family and friends.

What non-LGBTQ issue are you most passionate about?

Access to higher education. It’s extremely important to advocate for members of our society to receive some type of education whether it’s formal or vocational – it really does even the playing field and improves quality of life.

What historical outcome would you change?

Obviously it’s the fact that the electoral college is outdated and needs to be revised.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

Definitely my Madonna concerts and when I went to see Depeche Mode in Northern California.

On what do you insist?

I insist on people having genuine and meaningful discourse before judging anyone or anything. So many evil entities have used a divide and conquer devise or weapon in order to gain power and we have to understand that or else we will never ever overcome that evil

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

It was to encourage enrollment in the second year of community college for free!

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

“It can wait till tomorrow.” A big positive characteristic about myself is that I am passionate and I respond quickly and I am a hard worker but sometimes if you weigh a better and more calm solution, it will arise.

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

I would not take part in it but I would not judge anyone who would.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

I believe that we release energy that is currently held in our bodies and serve another stage in our universal lives.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

Unification! I find it perfectly understandable that we feel a lot of frustration but at the end of the day you cannot get anything done without unifying.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

Pizza.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

Probably that we are always single or free. I have always had to really be a big part of my family’s life and whether financial or emotionally I have always supported them.

What’s your favorite LGBTQ movie?

I don’t know if it’s LGBTQ but definitely think “Mean Girls” is the most hilarious movie ever.

What’s the most overrated social custom?

I get annoyed when we have to define people by their sexual identity or sexual orientation or even race. I kind of wish we just call each other “fabulous.”

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I really treasure my university and graduate school diploma

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

I wish I’d known that I could take my time and make decisions about my career and not necessarily try to keep up with others. I wish I had known that I could have just studied abroad or perhaps done research on Mayan ruins.

Why Los Angeles?

Los Angeles is everything! I mean it figuratively but I also mean it literally because this is a town where you have a microcosm of the world. It’s a town literally where you can feel anonymous and with family at the same time. To me LA represents opportunity.

It’s a place where no matter where you come from you are a part of Los Angeles whether you have been here for an hour or would you have been here for generations.

I love the weather and the warmth because at the end of the day you always want to curl up to a warm and friendly sky.

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Bars & Parties

Queery: Erick Velasco and Jose Resendez

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Erick Velasco and Jose Resendez. (Photo courtesy Club Cobra)

When Clubs Cobra and Chico Co-Owner, Marty Sokol, conceived the idea of creating a podcast that would be an extension of his clubs and provide a voice for Gay Latinos particularly from neighborhoods that were traditionally underrepresented, it didn’t take long for him to choose who he wanted to lead it. Erick Velasco also known as the Homo Homie from the East Side of LA was the perfect face of the brand and truly represented how Chico in Montebello had come about in the first place.

Velasco, an LA Native and a frequent nightclub attendee realized this would be a great thing for the Gay Latino community as well as the LGBTQ+ Latino community overall. He knew he needed a strong co-host with experience in media and pop culture – enter Jose Resendez, a recent Miami transplant who was no stranger to the world of podcasts, social media and how to get a great interview out of a guest. Where Velasco provided that LA flavor from the community, Resendez brought the business expertise.

The two colleagues kicked off season 1 of the successful podcast in October of 2019 and released new episodes through February up until sheltering in place was put in motion.
From episodes ranging from Gay Dads, Fitness, Entertainment, Politics,Transgender and Undocumented issues to even a JLO themed episode, these co-hosts were able to tap into different slices of the Latino LGBTQ+ community and brought the education, laughter and tears along the way.

But when Covid-19 hit, not even these two heroes of our community were immune. Resendez contracted the virus shortly after they had gone on hiatus. What started off to being a 3- month break turned into a 6 month break. He is now fully recovered and back at work gearing up for the rest of the year.

With a break under their belt and a library of a first season podcast episodes currently available to binge, the duo is now ready to launch season 2 and is looking forward to bringing in new faces from the community from all walks of life to further show our diversity. I caught up with the Homo Homies to get a little more insight of what makes them tick and how their identity and passion truly reflects the Latino LGBTQ+ community – a community that doesn’t just follow trends – they SET them.

Los Angeles Blade // Queery Q&A

The Homo Homie Podcast (@TheHomoHomiePodcast)

Host: Erick Velasco (@TheHomoHomie)

Co-Host: Jose Resendez (@TheJoseResendez)

Who’s your LGBTQ hero?

There’s so many to choose from! But during these revolutionary times for social justice, we would have to say Ashlee Marie Preston — a passionate Black transgender woman who’s making her voice heard & who we really hope to have on The Homo Homie Podcast one day! Ashlee advocates for the LGBTQ+ community by using her platform to bring awareness & believes that we can’t heal what we don’t reveal — such as addressing anti-Blackness within our own queer community.

Who’s Your Latino or Latina Hero?

We have to give it up to mami y papi. As proud Latinos we’re raised to honor our ancestors, elders, & parents! They teach us the importance of family, knowing we can count on them to be there for us. They help us understand you can have a lot with so little. They show us how to earn & give respect. To take pride in our heritage & where we come from, to continue to speak Spanish, to recognize the power in being bilingual. (Erick is Mexican, Jose is Guatemalan & Mexican.) And we can’t forget our modern-day Latinx hero, AOC — we love powerful mujeres that are always reppin’ our barrios!

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?

The Homo Homie Podcast’s first season was all recorded at Club Cobra in North Hollywood, so that was our spot! LA has such a diverse offering when it comes to safe queer spaces — we tend to go where everybody treats you like family & where the atmosphere is off the hook. When it’s safe we say to check out Club Chico in East LA & Trunks in WeHo — we know the staff there, they welcome us with open arms, have great music & good a** dranks!

What non-LGBTQ issue are you most passionate about?

Well, we take into consideration many to be honest. We’re passionate about women’s equality, immigration reform, & fighting for the Black community. We stand by the Black Lives Matter movement & will continue to help amplify Black voices on The Homo Homie Podcast as well. We acknowledge that every issue coincides with LGBTQ+ rights, because where one progresses, we all progress.

What historical outcome would you change?

Jose would say the tragic loss of Selena Quintanilla, however we would definitely change the outcome of our last presidential election. We’d take back that day real quick! We highly encourage all of our podcast listeners to help us vote Donald Trump out of the White House this year. Remember to register to vote now & help us make history together!

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment in your opinion?

Probably the JLo & Shakira halftime show at the Super Bowl — we didn’t know it back then but it was pretty much the closing ceremony for the end of the world at this point! But in all seriousness we want to highlight the moment Britney Spears shaved her head, especially now that the #FreeBritney movement has gone mainstream — the light that has been shed on mental health & human legal rights due to her conservatorship is invaluable. Another memorable pop culture moment is when Ricky Martin came out as a proud gay man, that was big for Latinos around the world!

Who in the Media or Journalism field do you admire?

We admire Anderson Cooper. Always has his facts straight (no pun intended), knows how to gauge a conversation, is not afraid to call out a guest & has been a voice of reasoning lately for Americans during the coronavirus pandemic. Did we mention he’s super sexy with that silver hair? Anderson has been an influential LGBTQ+ staple in our community & has represented us so well in the media industry.

On what do you insist?

Testing! Voting! We insist on many things. Getting tested for HIV/STI & knowing your status is responsible, we insist you reach out to your local resources for help such as the LGBT Center, Reach LA, & Out of The Closet locations. We insist that you do your part in voting & educating yourself on all the candidates — this year is so important for POC. Also, we insist you subscribe to our podcast to learn more about ways to get involved, be active in your community, whether via social media or by physically volunteering, it takes a village!

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

Erick’s book would be called “A Jack of All Trades & Master of None” because he has so many tricks up his sleeve & is such a curious type of person that loves to continue to always learn in life! Jose’s book would be titled “Amigas y Rivales” after an iconic Mexican soap opera or maybe “Mean Girls” — do we see a pattern here? Feels like our lives are shaped by the people around us, from friends & family to non-supporters alike.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

We’re both big on energy for sure! Erick is more spiritual, believes in the after life, the supernatural, the paranormal & loves watching Ghost Adventures. Jose is more of a science guy, has to see it to believe it! Either way, it’s fascinating to know that we are not the only ones here…right?

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

To stop and really analyze the way they try to get their points across to others. There’s always more than one way & they must take the time & patience to put themselves in that person’s shoes In order for them to understand.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

We both immediately said a million dollars, ha! Erick will walk across hot coals for family, it shows strength & courage for them. Jose says for world peace, period.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

Probably when people seem to think all gays went to beauty school in the womb & can do hair/makeup. Gays in media & entertainment are usually portrayed as the hairstylist, the makeup artist, the fashion designer, the flamboyant vanity person, which there’s nothing wrong with being that person, but the reality is that gay men hold it down in boardrooms, sports fields, military, on stage & in classrooms — we’re everywhere!

What’s your favorite LGBTQ+ movie?

For Erick it has to be Quinceanera — watching it was the first time we saw urban gay Latin representation that really hit home with cultural roots; nothing is better than a movie that you can relate too & actually see yourself in. Jose can’t decide between The Bird Cage & Moonlight — both taking place in Miami where he moved to LA from.

Who’s your favorite female pop star?

Right now it has to be Cardi B, okurrrrr! An artist that truly defines making it from the bottom to the top. She’s unapologetically herself no matter what, isn’t afraid to speak her mind, has broken barriers, created chart topping hits, is a proud Afro Latina & is literally bringing back Pu**y Power.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

For some reason this always ties back to money! Learning at a young age what it is to establish credit, how to invest into real-estate, understanding stocks, & probably avoiding student loans if possible. There’s many scholarships out there to help aid in financing your education, especially when it comes to diversity & inclusion.

Why Los Angeles?

LA is a place you can always call home — it’s a place with vast cultural diversity. For Erick, born & raised in LA has shaped him to be the man he is today. After living in Texas & Florida, Jose now calls LA home, a place he hopes to continue establishing himself as an entertainment communications pro in the US Latin market. The Homo Homies hope to run into you all in LA soon!

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Queery

Queery: Ari Gutierrez

The powerhouse volunteer leader answers 20 queer questions

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Ari Gutierez (right), her daughter Emma (center) and her wife Connie Arambula (left). (Photo courtesy Gutierrez)

“Emma’s mom” – this was my first introduction to Ari Gutierrez Arambula at All Souls World Language School, where our children attend together.  

“Emma’s mom” quickly became Ari, the powerhouse volunteer leader at school. Serving on multiple parent-led committees and leading the marketing for our new performing arts program, she leverages her many talents to garner publicity and support for the school and to simply get things done.

Ari is admirable in so many ways – she perseveres, unwavering in her desire and her fight for justice and equity for all – for the kids at our school, the LGBTQ youth she serves, and for any group of marginalized voices. 

And Ari succeeds in her fights – because, in addition to her steadfastness, she maintains an unassuming calm and a quirky sense of humor that attracts others to join her in her cause and charms even the toughest opponent.

I have had the opportunity to witness this force not only at school, but also in the community. Last year, I was proud to support Ari as she was recognized at L.A. County Supervisor Hilda Solis’s Inaugural Pride Reception for her dedicated service, civic pride and numerous contributions.  

Most recently, she and her neighbors have taken on the City of San Gabriel upon learning that a developer plans to build a massive condominium complex on native land next to what is now the Alhambra Wash. 

Ari is a friend and a fierce ally to so many, including me.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I came out a year after college at age 22. The hardest person to tell was my mom because maintaining her love, acceptance and support mattered most to me.

Who’s your LGBT hero?
I am in awe of LGBTQ people of color and ethnic minorities who transcend their station in life to selflessly contribute to a movement that helps not just LGBTQ people but also their community at large. People like Bayard Rustin, Harvey Milk, Sylvia Rivera, Frida Kahlo but also people from my own LGBTQ LatinX community who are everyday activists in the work they do including Roland Palencia, Laura M. Esquivel, Elena Popp, Myriam Gurba, Bamby Salcedo, Lester Aponte and many more.

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?
Nothing in L.A. comes close to the ambiance and camaraderie at the Bonham Exchange in my hometown of San Antonio in the early 80’s before HIV/AIDS changed everything. In L.A., The Latina Lesbian Erotic Poetry Reading gatherings of the early 90’s were the best because they lifted-up our culture, our femininity and our intelligence.

Describe your dream wedding.
We married at a beautifully serene pocket park in South Pasadena where we previously shared family time with our then three-year-old daughter. I loved that it is Eddie Park, which was close to Edie Windsor’s name. We had a small group of close friends and the ceremony was performed under an old Oak tree. A dream wedding is having friends and family affirm you and your new spouse’s love and commitment to each other – that’s what’s important. The location, cost and everything else is secondary.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Social justice in all its forms including access to education, a fulfilling career and being able to live and provide a good quality of life with your family and friends.

What historical outcome would you change?
The negativity of the Yes on Prop 8 campaign was very mean, hurtful and fear inducing. I wish that our society had been beyond accepting — through a ballot initiative — that type of hate against LGBTQ people or anyone else as acceptable.  That’s why we HAD to fight back

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?\For me, 80’s pop music because it’s fun, soothing and brings back fond memories of the time. Every now and then I switch to 70’s and 60’s music for the same reasons.  

On what do you insist?
Loyalty, Honesty, Compassion.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?I posted photos of my 9-year-old daughter meeting Sen. Elizabeth Warren and learning to Pinky Promise. It was a win on many fronts but I’m most excited of my daughter’s blossoming political awareness. She wants to meet Greta Thunberg next.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?
She was There When…The book would focus on important turning points in social justice in which I played a part.

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I would not change my sexual orientation. Instead, I wish science would discover a way to assure families will accept and love their child no matter their gender identity, sexual orientation.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
Whatever its name – I feel there is certainly an energy beyond our physical world that creates life and brings us together as living beings who depend on love to survive as much as food and water. That is no coincidence.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Be strategic, use your skills and resources.

What would you walk across hot coals for?
My family.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
That there are no LGBTQ people of color in communities of color and that people of color communities do not accept us.  

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
Summer Lovers (1982)

What’s the most overrated social custom?
Getting to work on time.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?
Good health and income now and in my retirement years.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That people will try to stop your success because of who you are – don’t let them.  

Why Los Angeles?
I came to Los Angeles for a career in advertising – I got that and a whole lot more!

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Queery: John Gile

“I believe we can all access our Higher Power”

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John Gile has followed the Pete Buttigieg campaign since its inception, including canvassing in the snows of  New Hampshire. (Photo by Tim O’Leary)

Gathered on the sidewalk outside a posh West Hollywood private fundraiser for Equality California, John Gile was in his element, happening upon, as he exclaimed, “Some of my favorite people!”

And it was a kind of defining clutch of personalities, a group that in many ways sums up Gile’s impressive ability to bring important people together: Cecilia Cabello, California State Director for Pete Butigieg’s presidential campaign (perhaps the busiest political influencer in Los Angeles); Bruce Roberts, one of the music world’s most prolific songwriters (if you are humming Barbra Streisand, Donna Summer or Dolly Parton, he probably wrote it) and currently launching Vote Proud with former Oprah executive Lisa Halliday, a major national Get Out the Vote effort for the LGBT community; and Kevin James, president of the powerful Los Angeles Board of Public Works.

In other words, some of the most well connected people in the country, all waiting on a Lyft or an Uber or a private driver, and, like Gile, off to the next event.

“We’ll see you later,” he says with hugs and kisses all around as everyone dashes away.

Gile himself was just whizzing through the Birds Street event in the Hills that included a disarming array of not-to-be-named celebrity donors, political mavens, candidates for California Senate, future and former mayors of West Hollywood and Los Angeles.

It truly is Gile’s element. And he is good at it.

During a career that spans more than 20 years, Gile, a life-long Angeleno, has mastered the art of bringing the world of philanthropy and politics together and in the process served as a CEO of Project Angel Food in Los Angeles and the Muscular Dystrophy Association.

He has developed a consulting practice that now operates bicoastally in Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York, and Washington, D.C. He is a prolific volunteer for the Buttigieg campaign, ambassador to Project Angel Food, an adviser to San Francisco’s Gay Men’s Chorus’ National LGBTQ Center for the Arts, lead fundraiser for West Hollywood’s $5 million AIDS Monument, served as 2016 Co-Chair of Hillary Clinton for President, Co-Chair of the DNC LGBT Leadership Committee, President of the Friends of Runyon Foundation and was adviser to President Obama’s 2012 reelection campaign.

And that’s for starters.

“Please don’t tell him I said this,” said one of his many admirers requesting anonymity, “but without John lots of us would just never show up. And a lot of our agencies would suffer a power outage. I go where he advises me to go. And I do it because he is so damned charming and handsome and smart.”

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I came out late — at 25 — and it was most difficult to tell my girlfriend. But we remain best of friends and I am her son’s godfather.

Who’s your LGBT hero?
Pete Buttigieg.

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?
Revolver and certain nighttime AA meetings.

Describe your dream wedding.
West Street Beach Laguna (Orange County’s most popular gay beach).

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Electing Democrats.

What historical outcome would you change?
The 2016 election.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
Elizabeth Taylor’s 65th birthday party at Pantages Theater, a night that will never be forgotten.

On what do you insist?
Honesty.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
On Feb. 24, I posted on Twitter and Facebook about the Democratic primary popular vote so far.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?
From Harvard and Dartmouth to Chico State

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I’m proudly gay and will stay that way.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
I believe we can all access our Higher Power.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Work together.

What would you walk across hot coals for?
To remove the current occupant of the White House.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
I don’t like this question. I think it’s important to get out of our comfort zones.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“Brokeback Mountain.”

What’s the most overrated social custom?
I try to be mindful of people’s differences.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?
A World Series ring.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?
All will be well. You can have a really great life living sober.

Why Los Angeles?
It’s five minutes from anything and perfect weather.

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Queery: Jeff Consoletti

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Jeff Consoletti. (Photo by Jon Viscott courtesy Consoletti)

There is a universal post-Pride feeling on the streets of West Hollywood, a buzz you hear at LGBT events all over Los Angeles and online that this year’s LA Pride was perhaps the best ever. Euphoric is a good word to describe the praise. And that’s not even over the top.

What is everyone so gaga about?  

It seems to boil down to outstanding execution, record fundraising that should make the event cash-positive for years to come, terrific communication and unbelievably excellent advance, day-of and lingering post-event press. 

The crowds were larger than in many years, back to levels not seen since the early 2000s and the festival was completely sold out both days, with a topnotch, world class entertainment line up and staging and attracting several hundred thousand people.

Madonna Cacciatore, Jeff Consoletti and Estevan Montemayor. (Photo by Jon Viscott, courtesy Consoletti)

LA is rightly head over heels in love with LA Pride’s new President, Estevan Montemayor and new Executive Director Madonna Cacciatore. What their team pulled off was nothing short of miraculous, pulling an event that appeared near collapse back from the financial brink and making the LA Pride organization one of the world’s most well-financed and successful Pride organizations.

But there is another aspect of Pride people are raving about. 

Jeff Consoletti’s intricate festival design and substantial festival staging, the lighting, the seamless professionalism of the staffing, the ambient look and feel of everything, everywhere throughout seemed inspired.

Consoletti, founder and principal of the events production company JJ|LA, has worked with LA Pride for 10 years, making him an indispensable and seasoned hand that Estevan and Madonna’s team can depend on, freeing their brains and hands up for promotion and sponsorship engagement and major organizational details. He is nationally known for his executions, working not only in LA but also in New York and Boston, where he has offices.

When Consoletti first came to LA Pride, it was struggling with corporate sponsorship engagement, lagging ticket sales and a lackluster entertainment program. Yet, his efforts were still inspired and not impacted by the hurdles of the past few years.

“We revamped the guest experience to create a clean, accessible and inviting event with eye-catching design and decor that got guests excited,” he said. “We took a deep dive into the entertainment program, identifying supportive allies and out and proud artists that could help to drive ticket sales and publicity opportunities to the shows. As audiences grew, so did corporate engagement. We looked to on board brands that wanted to showcase their support toward the LGBT community rather than billboarding, by encouraging immersive, guest-facing activations that got consumers excited.”

Consoletti first got involved with LA Pride as a volunteer during the financial crisis of 2009, one year after being laid off from a high-paying job. He parlayed the clients he had worked with into a consulting practicing and soon formed his own company. “In 2010, I approached LA Pride with a suggestion for a contract position to help them with their special events, entertainment booking and sponsorship as they began planning their 40th Anniversary, and they bit, birthing JJ|LA.” Since then his roster of clients, from big brands to nonprofits, across industries from sports and entertainment to fashion and consumer products has grown. His goal, he says, is the same with all of his clients, “reinvention, re-establishment and consumer engagement.”

“We have high client retention because we are hands on partners with our events. We immerse ourselves in our clients’ brands becoming a true partner to help shape their success.”

He says his formula for success is simple: “A great event starts at the core with great relationships. I’m lucky to have built a business that celebrates that and am so proud that shows in our work. I wouldn’t trade my life in events for anything else.”

And in 2019 that approach certainly paid off.

Meet Jeff Consoletti.

Consoletti, center, with the JJLA team at LA Pride. (Photo by Jon Viscott courtesy Consoletti)

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
I came out at 19 (18 years ago!) to my very Boston, very Italian, very Catholic parents and I. Was. Petrified. Picture walking into a room with Tony and Carmella Soprano as the oldest boy in the family. That said, my family was instantly loving and supportive, as they always were, and immediately embraced me. I’ve been fortunate to always have an amazing family by my side my entire life.

Who’s your LGBT hero?
Hands down Troy Perry. He founded the organization and client that is the foundation of my career and I think he is one of the most modest, kind and humble advocates within our community. I’m so fortunate to have a close relationship with him.

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?
I LOVED Cherry Pop! One of my favorite nights out in my early days in LA. And remember “Hot Dog” at Club 7969 – lots of trouble had there too! These days you’ll be more prone to find me cozied up with a martini in hand at Cecconi’s or Tower Bar!

Describe your dream wedding.
I’m in the middle of planning it actually! My amazing partner, Rob, and I are planning an incredible weekend retreat at an estate in Indio this November. I’m having the time of my life planning it! You can count on incredible food, a star-studded concert, elaborate lighting, gorgeous scenery and, of course, confetti!

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Special Needs. One of my sisters is learning disabled and I have learned so much about patience, advocacy and acceptance throughout her development. I’m a huge supporter of special olympics and ensuring children with special needs get the care and attention they deserve in the classroom and into adulthood.

What historical outcome would you change?
Um… November 8, 2016 would have been a much better day with a much different result.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
For some reason the Britney, Christina kiss during the VMAs immediately pops into my mind.

On what do you insist?
Honesty.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
I shared a fun story about me and my team from Los Angeleno about the 27 Hours Before PRIDE!

If your life were a book, what would the title be?
If You Don’t Know, Now You Know

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
I couldn’t be happier to be my big, gay self. I’d say, “Well, isn’t that something,” and go back to what I was doing.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
That those I’ve lost are just as much with me each and every day.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Your persistence is key!

What would you walk across hot coals for?
My amazing dog Rilo, or anything Louis Vuitton.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
Rainbows that don’t fit! (inside joke!)

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
The Devil Wears Prada

What’s the most overrated social custom?
Not drinking before 5.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?
“Emmy or Tony Award Winning Producer…” has a nice ring to it! I’d love to be an EGOT!

What do you wish you’d known at 18?
That it just keeps getting better!

Why Los Angeles?
All of my dreams have come true here. I set goals that LA embraced and I have been able to create a life rich in friendship, work, love and creativity – what’s more to ask for in a place to call home?

A rainbow orb-adorned tree near the Johnson and Johnson stage at LA Pride. (Photo courtesy Consoletti)

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Queery: Maer Roshan

The Los Angeles Magazine editor answers 20 queer questions

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Maer Roshan, Editor in Chief of Los Angeles Magazine. (Photo courtesy Roshan)

It was our conversation about his cover story on Liz Smith, the doyenne of New York City’s salacious celebrity gossip world, for Outweek magazine in 1989 that tipped me off that Maer Roshan was a force to be reckoned with, someone who really cared about the quality of his work, getting it right and being mindful of the spirit of what he wanted to accomplish.

He was clearly a strategic editorial thinker.

It was a risky gambit he was trying to pull off, featuring a closeted lesbian in a magazine famous for exposing the secret lives of closeted people who were doing social and political harm to the community.

Smith had been a favorite all-caps target of the magazine’s gossip hitman, Michelangelo Signorile.

I was astonished that he had the charm to pull a high-profile subject into an arena where she knew she would be forced to answer her critics and draw even more ACT-UP style rage if her answers — or his questions — were not precise. It was the very apex of the AIDS crisis and the people Smith covered wielded enormous influence and cultural power.

Fast forward one year and I found myself looking for an editor to launch a new weekly magazine for New York’s gay and lesbian community and I remembered Maer’s gambit with the Smith cover story. I remembered that he had been an editor at Andy Warhol’s Interview magazine and had worked as a newspaper reporter in Key West. He was young, understood the power of being brash and had a sensibility about him I wanted to engage.

Maer took the lead editorial role and went about creating a kind of weekly newsmagazine for gay and lesbian New Yorkers that had never been tried before, one part activist, one part fabulous, one part celebrity and fashion obsessed and yet deeply tuned into the science and policy concerns of the AIDS crisis.

The New York Times featured the magazine on the front page of the paper under the headline “Gay Press enters the mainstream.”

Maer worked hard to develop his unique blend and went on to launch several major editorial products. He launched Talk with Vanity Fair editor Tina Brown. He created Radar, his own magazine that was one of the first to successfully go digital only. He later became editor of New York Magazine and recently took the helm of Los Angeles Magazine where he now serves as editor in chief.

And just last week, like an earthquake, he dropped a Pride issue onto Southern California newsstands that has gone viral, featuring many of the most influential Angeleno LGBTQ community members in our city’s cultural sphere. Every media type in Los Angeles took note.

In Los Angeles Magazine’s first Pride issue in its 58 years I am reminded of that earnest, handsome and charming Maer from 30 years ago, full of mischievous twinkles in his eye, and brain always churning genius. If you haven’t read it, pick up a copy.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Out since I was 17. The hardest person to tell was my grandmother, who was an Orthodox Jew from Long Island. She knew that I had become editor of a magazine called NYQ, but didn’t know what kind of magazine it was, She stopped at a newsstand with a bunch of her friends to find a copy and received a rather unwelcome surprise. But she was cool and took it in stride.

Who’s your LGBT hero?
Larry Kramer accomplished heroic things at a time of dire crisis for this community. I also grew up loving writers like Tennessee Williams and Gore Vidal and Truman Capote—smart, funny talented people who were the most visible gay role models for me when I was growing up.

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?
Currently the Tower Bar at the Sunset Tower, though I would have loved to be part of the Sunset strip music scene in the 70s.

Describe your dream wedding.
A tasteful City Hall ceremony with Shawn Mendes.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Freedom of the press. Especially at a time when the media is under attack, it’s vital that we support the important and sometimes dangerous work that journalists perform in a free society.

What historical outcome would you change?
Well, obviously World War I and II, 9/11 and other mass genocides. And Nov. 8, 2016 will always live in infamy for me.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
I will always love the 80s and early 90s, clubs like Area, Palladium and people like Madonna, Chakha Khan, Wham and Ecstasy. I may not remember every moment but I remember the energy and creativity and the egalitarian spirit of that time, when different ages and genders and races and sexualities all mixed and partied together. Life was way more fun before bottle service and the internet.

On what do you insist?

Honesty.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
A mean tweet about Ivanka Trump’s Buckingham palace outfit and a Facebook post promoting the gay issue of LA magazine.

If your life were a movie, what would the title be?
Girl Interrupted (Laughs)

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
At this point I am really happy that I am gay. But it would be fun to use that technology on Mitch McConnell and Steve King and every cowardly politician who has made life difficult for LGBT people. Maybe we can even turn Lindsay Graham straight.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
Grace.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Develop better relationships with allies across all movements that advance human rights, fairness and increased prosperity for all. We’re all in this together.

What would you walk across hot coals for?
A cure for people, and their loved ones, who are suffering from addiction. I’ve seen first hand the pain that it’s brought to my friends and my family.

What stereotypes about LGBT people annoy you most?

That we all dress well and have impeccable design sense. You should see me right now!

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
“Top Gun”

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Bathing. :)

What trophy or prize do you most covet?
A Golden Globe.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

Don’t date actors. Or mimes.

Why Los Angeles?

Because it’s the most exciting and creative city in America right now filled with endless possibilities, cute boys and sunny weather. What else does one need?

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Queery: Lash Fary

The awards swag bag aficionado answers 20 queer questions

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Lash Fary is the marketing force behind many of Hollywood’s most glamorous events, including the GRAMMY Awards. (Photo courtesy Lash Fary)

For the past 20 years, Lash Fary has rewarded music nominees and presenters with an assortment of luxury swag backstage at the GRAMMY® Gift Lounge. His Los Angeles-based entertainment marketing company, Distinctive Assets, are experts in celebrity gifting, working on numerous award shows year round.

Performers like Ricky Martin, Miley Cyrus, Arturo Sandoval, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Camila Cabello, Dolly Parton, Cardi B, Katy Perry, Shawn Mendes, Janelle Monáe, and Alicia Keys will be treated to a bevy of thank you gifts in acknowledgment and appreciation of their participation.

“We are so proud to celebrate two decades of creating amazing GRAMMY gift magic,” said Fary. “While what we do is a very small part of a very big show, we have so much fun putting together this gift bonanza and love witnessing the effusive response from some of the most talented people in the world.”

The official 2019 Grammy Gift bag is valued at over $30,000 and includes gifts ranging from a week-long spa stay at the all inclusive Golden Door, and abstract art by Louisiana-based artist, Andrea Trantham to a contouring beauty roller and Collagen Enrich beauty drink from ReFa.

Other #GRAMMYGiftLounge selections will include 23andMe Health + Ancestry Service; World Qreators Japanese Meditation Zen “Ishiki” VR/360 experience; Alpha Priority Worldwide VIP airport greeters + ground transportation services; gluten-free, dairy-free, naturally-sweetened, guilt-free chocolate from Good Girl Chocolate; Grossé Japan award-winning museum-quality costume jewelry; It’s a 10 Haircare salon-quality hair dryer, He’s a 10 Men’s Collection and Miracle Blow Dry Collection; Millianna feather cuffs and shoewelry; Neoteny Anti-Aging Skincare gift sets from Dr. Lawton Tang; a year’s supply of Oxygenetix breathable oxygenating foundation; PRSVR stylish men’s, women’s and children’s premium apparel; Source Naturals nutritional supplements; and truth “Don’t Get Played” gaming gift sets.

Fary’s next endeavor will be creating a fantastic swag bag for the nominees at the Academy Awards. So even if Lady Gaga, Regina King, Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone etc., don’t win, they definitely won’t leave empty handed!

Live from STAPLES Center, and hosted by Alicia Keys, the 61st Annual GRAMMY Awards will be broadcast in HDTV and 5.1 surround sound on the CBS Television Network, Sunday, Feb. 10, 2019, at 8:00 p.m. ET/5:00 p.m. PT.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?
Since 1995, my first year out of college. Though my college roommates would tell you that I came out much earlier, when I would don silk Victoria’s Secret bathrobes while listening to Barbra Streisand in my room.  My mom was the hardest to tell—and she exceeded expectations in the way she reacted.

Who’s your LGBT hero?
I am always most inspired by our straight allies like Judith Light who have fought on our behalf for decades.

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?
My couch watching my favorite television shows and movies. So let’s call that Chez Moi.

Describe your dream wedding.
Just me and the cake! And the wedding gifts.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?
Voting reform.

What historical outcome would you change?
The Hillary Clinton /Trump election.

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?
The death of Princess Diana.


On what do you insist?
Be true to thyself.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?
A post about how excited I was that Dolly Parton would be performing at the GRAMMY’s. And a photo of when I met her years ago, in one of our gift lounges.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?
FabuLash.

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?
Put it in a cake and invite over all my hot straight male friends.

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?
The legacy of what you did in that physical world while you were here.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?
Keep going.

What would you walk across hot coals for?
Coffee.

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?
All of them.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?
Boy Erased.

What’s the most overrated social custom?
Talking on the phone.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?
Any grand slam tennis trophy.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?
Everything and nothing.  Part of me would want to know it all in advance … yet at the same time I have loved experiencing the surprises along the way.  But I try to only look forward not back.

Why Los Angeles?
The weather!

 

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Queery: Jennifer Gregg

One Archive’s executive director answers 20 queer questions

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Jennifer Gregg (Photo courtesy Gregg)

Jennifer Gregg is my best friend. Yes, it helps that she is loyal, kind, smart compassionate and empathic, and, it also helps that she is funny as hell and that we both enjoy a good Indian buffet when we can find one. Yet, these are not the reasons Jennifer is my best friend, it’s because she makes me want to be a better person each and every day.

Like many LGBTQ individuals from her generation and from the South, Jennifer’s road to self-acceptance and acceptance from those around her was a rocky road to say the least. She turned this hurt into a fierce empathy to fight for others, to seek out the underdog instead of cozying up to the safe bet, to always look for the person in the corner of a room at a party with no one to talk to, to take the time to genuinely ask people how they are doing rather than a simple pleasantry that is now commonplace, and to bring people together from all walks of life for the greater good, whether through her current work as executive director of the ONE Archives Foundation or when she and I worked together at the LGBTQ Victory Fund to elect openly LGBTQ individuals to office at the local, state and national level.

Pain does not always beget pain. Sometimes pain turns itself into a determination for healing, not just for one’s own self, but for those around you. That’s Jennifer’s creed and roadmap for her life. When I finally decided to quit drinking last December, Jennifer was the first person I called, not because I thought she would have all the answers, but because I knew she would support me through this journey, and indeed she has.

If you’re ever lucky enough to meet Jennifer, take the time to listen to her, to emulate her empathy and passion for others, and, if you’re as lucky as I have been, become a better person through her friendship. As we often say in our community, we get to choose what our families look like. I’m so blessed that Jennifer choose me to be part of hers.

How long have you been out and who was the hardest person to tell?

I came out when I was 24. My family was the hardest to tell. I told my mother on New Year’s Eve and was promptly uninvited to my Godfather’s annual New Year’s Eve party. My family and I didn’t really speak for a very long time. We are starting to heal.

Who’s your LGBT hero?

All of us in the LGBTQ community are my heroes. I am lucky to interact with heroes daily through my work with the ONE Archives Foundation, ordinary people who made an extraordinary difference. I am always in awe of our community’s bravery and resilience.

What’s Los Angeles’ best nightspot, past or present?

Catch One. Jewel Thais-Williams not only started a nightclub, she started a movement. I was thrilled to honor Jewel this year with the ONE Archives Foundation’s inaugural History Maker’s award.

Describe your dream wedding.

My dream wedding is taking place this year! My partner and I are getting married on Dec. 21, Winter Solstice. It’s a very small and casual ceremony, with my daughter officiating.

What non-LGBT issue are you most passionate about?

Animal rights and rescue. I am a big supporter of FixNation and Farm Sanctuary.

What historical outcome would you change?

Our 2016 presidential election. 

What’s been the most memorable pop culture moment of your lifetime?

When Ellen came out. She provided me with encouragement and a sense of safety (although I’m still waiting for my toaster oven). And, I wish I still had my Member’s Only jacket.

On what do you insist?

Honesty and humor. I also need to have water with me at all times.

What was your last Facebook post or Tweet?

The ONE Archives Foundation’s Youth Ambassadors for Queer History’s field trip to Project Angel Food. They learned about the history and mission of Project Angel Food, toured the amazing kitchen, and made holiday ornaments for clients. I love sharing our LGBTQ history with the next generation.

If your life were a book, what would the title be?

Flying Free

If science discovered a way to change sexual orientation, what would you do?

Make everyone queer. What a wonderful world that would be!

What do you believe in beyond the physical world?

Energy. Everything is energy and energy is everything.

What’s your advice for LGBT movement leaders?

The road to justice and equality is a long one that is constantly winding, with detours and roadblocks. Believe in your leadership. When you need support, ask for it; when asked for support, provide it. Stay the course.

What would you walk across hot coals for?

My family, those I love, and those in need. 

What LGBT stereotype annoys you most?

That lesbians are handy. Definitely never ask me to fix anything. Also, I don’t own any flannel.

What’s your favorite LGBT movie?

There are so many wonderful LGBTQ movies! “Desert Hearts” is my all-time favorite: a queer film made by a lesbian filmmaker, presenting a positive portrayal of lesbian sexuality. And those love scenes!

What’s the most overrated social custom?

Not talking about sex, politics or religion at the dinner table.

What trophy or prize do you most covet?

I was a competitive swimmer when I was younger. I had a big regional meet at Frostburg State, and became really ill with a terrible head cold. I was swimming the 400-meter individual medley. I almost dropped out because I was so sick. But, I forged ahead instead. Not only did I take first, but I beat my personal best time. That was the day I found my inner strength and will power. I covet that moment—that win, and I lean on it often.

What do you wish you’d known at 18?

Take risks. Relish in your failures. Embrace change. It’s how you will get to know yourself.

Why Los Angeles?

I love the energy, the creativity, the push for progress. Los Angeles is where the LGBTQ movement really began. We have such a deep history of social justice in LA.

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