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New Wave Ex-Gay Christian admits frequent sex with men

This hypocrisy exposes slippery changed movement claims that being ‘ex-gay’ is possible and lasting in a person



Jeffrey McCall via his “Changed Movement” Facebook Page in which he claims Jesus delivered him from LGBTQ identity.

By James Finn | DETROIT – A Christian ex-gay leader just admitted he’s had sex with multiple men while preaching freedom from LGBTQ identity. No surprise. Most Christian reparative-therapy or ex-gay leaders have admitted past change claims were baseless.

Many have admitted they never stopped having same-gender sex. This new scandal is surprising because it’s barely a scandal: The leader in question isn’t stepping down or apologizing. Neither he nor anyone else in his movement seems to think his “stumbling” disqualifies him from his mission. Today’s ex-gay Christian leaders are a whole new breed. What does “ex-gay” mean to them? Probably not what you think.

Jeffrey McCall is widely known for appearing in the popular 2021 “Pray Away” documentary and for leading Freedom March, which stages public events to claim Jesus delivers people from unwanted same-sex attraction. Part of the broader Changed Movement group, Freedom March also calls for an end to LGBTQ-equality laws and conversion therapy bans, which organizers claim discriminate against Christians.

Pray Away mostly spotlights leaders of the previous generation of Christian gay-conversion organizations, like Alan Chambers, as they cope with the traumatic aftermath of the“therapy” they promoted, which they now admit was completely ineffective and often severely harmful. Several principals tell filmmakers they feel great personal guilt for continuing their work even after they came to understand the harm they were causing.

Jeffrey McCall appears in the film to counter that narrative, insisting Christian faith makes sexual-orientation and gender-identity change not only possible but joyful. The film has made him a big name in conservative Christian circles, where he is held up as a hero for daring to preach truth against prevailing “secular” wisdom.

He claims he’s still “ex-gay” even though he’s never stopped desiring and actually having sex with men.

Two weeks ago, however, Wayne Besen of the anti-conversion-therapy Truth Wins Out group reported that McCall, who identified as gay or transgender at earlier points in his life, has spent a lot of time seeking out sex with men on Freedom March’s dime. Besen released the following statement to Metro Weekly after spotting a little-noticed Facebook post McCall made in November:

Jeffrey McCall is a self-serving con artist who runs a fraudulent organization that preys on vulnerable and desperate LGBTQ people who grow up in religious homes. If McCall had an ounce of integrity he’d apologize for his rank hypocrisy and shut down his odious Freedom March racket before it ruins more lives. McCall’s own actions prove that he has no ability to ‘help’ anyone, starting with himself.

McCall had sex with multiple men last summer at an ex-gay march he organized

Last June, Metro Weekly reported that Freedom March would be “descending on D.C. this weekend.” The Christian ex-gay activists would not be “opening Grindr or Scruff while alone in their hotel rooms,” snarked Metro Weekly. Nor, the reporter joked, would they be frequenting numerous D.C. gay bars that just happened to be reopening after covid restrictions. Instead, the ex-gay activists would “be protesting against bans on conversion therapy.”

The article might have sounded comical at the time, but it turns out that McCall, whose D.C. visit was paid for by membership contributions, actually did spend much of his time in D.C. having sex with men. In McCall’s November Facebook post, he admitted to sex with multiple men, claiming he repented from “sin” many times. He claims he’s still “ex-gay” even though he’s never stopped desiring and actually having sex with men.

Everytime I fell I would truly repent and turn away again. I would feel Gods [sic] love, mercy, and forgiveness sometimes before I could even finish the prayer. (I am not condoning this sin at all I’m just sharing what happened when I fell).

Freedom March and the Changed Movement send slippery, contradictory messages

If McCall’s “fraud” sounds like a common but distasteful conversion therapy narrative, keep reading, because this story is more complex than that. McCall and other leaders of the Changed Movement group are not your parents’ conversion therapists. They don’t make the bold claims of Alan Chambers or other members of the previous generation of Christian conversion therapists who have admitted they never managed to change anyone.

Instead, as the Washington Post observed in 2019, “The ex-gay Christianity movement is making a quiet comeback” with significantly different practices. McCall has has been one of the leading faces of that revival. Leaders like him seldom make explicit, disprovable claims about attraction change. If pressed, they deny practicing or even condoning conversion therapy, even though they insist it should be legal for people who want it. Instead, they claim identity change and behavior change can offer unhappy LGBTQ people Christian joy. Simultaneously, they dangle anecdotes about profound attraction change that really do rise to the level of fraudulent claims — morally if not legally.

“The new incarnation is hipper and perhaps more evolved,” says the 2019 NY Times report. “Yet beneath the cosmetic tweaks sits the same message that has damaged many lives over many decades: If you’re a Christian with same-sex attractions, change is both possible and necessary.”

McCall and his Changed Movement peers offer “freedom from LGBT identity,” carefully minimizing an underlying message that “freedom” probably will not mean elimination of “unwanted same-sex attraction.” You have to dig into personal stories to spot that crucial qualifier.

Pulse Nightclub massacre survivor Javier Ruiz is one of the movement’s more plain-spoken leaders. He told the Orlando Weekly in 2018 that he wants people to know they’re “free to leave homosexuality,” but admits he has not personally managed to “pray the gay away.” He says he’s still attracted to men, he just chooses not to have sex with men.

Other leaders are much less explicit. In more common public messaging, movement figures make it sound as if the freedom they offer is freedom from unwanted attraction. This is what the Changed Movement website proclaims in bold headlines:

CHANGED is possible! We are a community of friends who once identified as LGBTQ+. Today, we celebrate the love of Jesus and His freedom in our lives.

If you think that message is about Jesus changing people’s sexual orientation, you’re not alone. You’re supposed to think that. Changed Movement press releases and social media posts use language that on the surface look like they promise freedom from gay or transgender feelings and attractions. If you dig deeper, important details disrupt that message and help explain why McCall isn’t stepping down like Alan Chambers did.

Andrew Ross, for example, describes feeling suicidal as a teenager and young adult.

He writes that sexual attraction to men, which he implies probably stemmed from his being sexually abused and raped when he was a child, filled him with “depression, loss, hurt, anxiety, fear, and shame.” He says that when he was a teenager …

I hated wanting to sleep with men, looking at pornography and being addicted to sex and masturbation. I was a slave to those thoughts. The “feminine” thoughts also ate away at me, and I started acting out with homosexual tendencies in hopes that I wouldn’t have to hide anymore that I was different. I intentionally acted out for people to notice and be faced with seeing my struggle.

He doesn’t explain why he felt guilty about masturbation, which experts say is an ordinary, healthy part of adolescent sexual development. He appears to pathologize ordinary sexual awakening and experiences as “acting out,” possibly owing to his childhood trauma. Sexual development experts, however, long ago debunked theories that gay people “become” gay because they were abused as children.

Andrew says he experienced intense guilt until he was 22, when he turned to Jesus, who he says “set him free.” At first glance, he seems to mean he stopped wanting to have sex with men or wanting to fantasize about men when he masturbated, but if you read carefully, the reality of Changed Movement freedom becomes more clear. Andrew no longer identifies as gay but admits his attractions have not changed. He says he’s no longer a “slave to homosexuality” but still faces temptation to “sin.”

Leslie Reynoso tells a similar story.

She describes feeling intense guilt about same-sex attraction and relationships with women, which she says led her to abuse alcohol and drugs as a teenager. She describes having a panic attack in 2019 followed by a religious experience in which God suggested she’d go to hell if she didn’t stop being gay. She says God then helped her change her identity:

I feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. I love the woman I am becoming as I let Jesus mold me and show me who I am. My identity is no longer in my attractions but in Christ. I no longer desire to be with a woman: I desire what Jesus wants for my life.

Read that closely. Leslie is not claiming her same-sex attractions went away, only that she no longer bases her identity on them. She doesn’t desire to be with a woman because she believes Jesus doesn’t want her to have sex with women. One wonders how long she’ll feel happy or fulfilled. Based on McCall’s example and the example of ex-gay Christians over the decades, probably not long.

The desire to form intimate, loving, sexual bonds with other humans is fundamentally important to most people. The history of conversion therapy is riddled with the tragedy of religious guilt destroying lives, with high suicide rates being the only measurable outcome of the practice.

Religious guilt is the common thread in Changed Movement testimonies

Ross and Reynoso tell stories remarkably similar to most of the stories Changed promotes. Most of the “ex-gay” advocates say they were raised in conservative religious settings and were either sexually abused as children or “tempted into sin” as adults. They say sin led to them to destructive substance abuse and/or severe mental health problems. Then a religious conversion experience convinced them that identifying as gay or transgender was causing their pain. They subsequently “surrendered to Jesus” and committed either to detransition, to remain celibate, or to try to make a marriage work with an opposite-sex partner.

If what Changed offers is truly freedom, I’d hate to know what slavery would feel like.

I’m not writing to dismiss the genuine pain many of these people are expressing. I’m writing to call out movement leaders for making slippery promises that rise the the level of outright falsehoods. I’m writing to warn vulnerable people at risk of being seduced by the Change Movement that ex-gay doesn’t mean what it looks like.

Jeffrey McCall makes his living being an “ex-gay” Christian, yet he’s so strongly compelled to seek relationships with other men that he can’t stop pursuing them, not even at ex-gay events he organizes, even though continuing to do so could have disastrous professional consequences.

So is McCall truly ex-gay? Is anyone in the Changed Movement truly ex-gay?

I propose McCall has come full circle. Nothing about his life experience holds him up as anything except a traditionalist Christian tied up in ordinary knots of traditionalist-Christian sexual guilt. I propose that all he and his peers have to offer is a lifetime of repressed, suppressed longing for genuine intimacy, love, and partnership.

I feel bad for him. He’s a young man with many years ahead. I hope he doesn’t take as long as Alan Chambers to realize how much he’s fooling himself. More importantly, I hope he stops working so hard to fool others.

He may think falling and then repenting (over and over again) is no reason to stop believing an ex-gay life is a real possibility, but if you’re considering asking God to change your sexual orientation or gender identity, ask yourself this:

If Alan Chambers and his generation tried and failed for years, and if Jeffrey McCall doesn’t even pretend he can’t stop wanting to have sex with men, does the ex-gay world truly have anything to offer?

Why don’t you seek out a church filled with Christians who love Jesus and say God offers them joy just as he created them? You can start here, at, which will guide you to an LGBTQ-affirming church in your area.


James Finn is a former Air Force intelligence analyst, long-time LGBTQ activist, an alumnus of Queer Nation and Act Up NY, a frequent columnist for the LA Blade, a contributor to other LGBTQ news outlets, and an “agented” but unpublished novelist. Send questions, comments, and story ideas to [email protected]


The preceding article was previously published by Prism & Pen– Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling and is republished by permission.

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Mar-A-Lago is Stonewall? Gay Republicans grovel for Trump

Trump today supports the most right-wing, anti-trans, anti-gay candidates for state office the nation has ever seen



Donald Trump takes a wrecking ball to democracy. Photo by DonkeyHotey. (CC BY-SA 2.0) Log Cabin Republicans logo superimposed by author.

By James Finn | DETROIT – If you can’t guess from my headline, I don’t much care for the Log Cabin Republicans. They’re an advocacy group of gay men and a smattering of lesbians who support Republican politics and say they deserve a place at the GOP table.

I don’t dislike the Log Cabin crowd because I’m a Democrat, though. When they formed in 1977 to fight as GOP insiders against a California law banning gay teachers in public schools, they were doing vital equality work. When they they stood up for same-sex marriage nationally, they accepted a damaging political cost.

The Log Cabin Republicans of today, however, are nothing like who they used to be.

I don’t dislike them because they’re Republicans; I oppose their implacable opposition to genuine equality for LGBTQ Americans. I recoil at their recent, rapid (rabid?) embrace of anti-transgender rhetoric imported from the U.K.-based LGB Alliance, which calls supporting trans people “homophobia” and “conversion therapy.”

Mostly though, I’m shocked at Log Cabin’s unquestioning embrace of former President Donald Trump. They endorsed him for president in 2020, and they’ve made clear they’ll support him in 2024. They’re encouraging him to run again, claiming he’s a great friend to them and other LGB (but not T) people.

The truth is that Trump presided over a federal LGBTQ equality rollback that gave landlords the nod to evict gay and trans tenants, let employers freely discriminate, told business owners they could refuse to serve trans and gay customers, let medical professionals do the same, and encouraged religious people of all stripes to treat gay and trans people as second- or third-class Americans.

Trump today supports the most right-wing, anti-trans, anti-gay candidates for state office the nation has ever seen — or “like we’ve never seen” to mimic Trumpian rhetoric.

Yesterday, the Log Cabin Republicans sank to a new low, comparing Donald Trump’s Florida resort to the Stonewall Inn

The Log Cabin crowd joined a chorus of Republicans yesterday complaining about the FBI executing a search warrant on Trump’s Mar-A-Lago golf resort, where he lives during the winter. Details are available in this news story from the Los Angeles Blade.

For background, the National Archives have been negotiating with Trump for months, asking him to comply with federal law (enacted in response to the corrupt Nixon administration) that makes all presidential communication property of the federal government. They say Trump and his aids illegally removed dozens of boxes of official documents from the White House, and they want them back.

However, sources inside the Department of Justice, speaking to reporters on background, say the federal warrant is NOT about routine documents.

They say the FBI is seeking top secret, compartmentalized intelligence (SCI) products with the potential to severely damage national security by revealing our most closely held sources and methods. For perspective, when I worked in national security as an Air Force intelligence officer, I was often briefed in dire terms that removing SCI documents from approved storage facilities would (not could) result in a long prison sentence, even in the absence of ill intent.

What do the Log Cabin Republicans think about the FBI investigation? See for yourself in a message they tweeted a few hours after Trump denounced the investigation.

Can we talk about The Stonewall Inn?

New York City cops raided the gay bar in 1969 as part of a routine arrangement with its Mafia owners. Mob bosses owned almost all gathering places for queer people in NYC in those days. The mob paid a regular kickback to the corrupt NYPD. In exchange, they didn’t enforce laws that banned people from wearing clothes of the “opposite” sex and that banned same-sex couples from dancing together in places where alcohol was served.

Once in a while, the NYPD would stage a raid for show, to let the public think they were enforcing vice laws. Usually, they tipped the bar off in advance and staff would warn patrons to go elsewhere for the evening. Probably by mistake, that warning didn’t happen on June 28, 1969. The NYPD showed up with a paddy wagon to find lesbians, gay men and “street queens” packing Stonewall.

When the cops started arresting the queer people who used the bar as a safe haven, a riot started that consumed Greenwich Village for three days and nights. It wasn’t the first time relatively powerless queer people fought back and refused to go peacefully to jail, but the incident captured the national imagination and fueled a movement to fight for freedom and equality.

Stonewall stands for freedom for the powerless. The Mar-A-Lago warrant fights privilege for the powerful

Donald Trump is angry that a federal judge approved a warrant seeking evidence of a serious felony. His supporters are just as angry, some of them calling for violence, with the hashtag #lockandload trending on Twitter.

Clearly, Trump believes he’s so powerful that he’s above the law, and so do his supporters. They’re claiming Trump is being persecuted by political opponents, suggesting the FBI executed the warrant to plant evidence.

But that seems more than far fetched.

The Democratic Party has been funding primary candidates Trump supports, on the (some say dubious) theory that they will be easier to beat in November. The Democratic establishment WANTS Trump to run again in 2024, believing they’ll trounce him more soundly than in 2020.

The FBI investigation is apolitical, premised on the idea that no politician is so powerful that the law does not apply to them. It’s led by FBI Director Christopher Wray, a Trump appointee and Republican who is a member of the very conservative Federalist Society.

Trump has a long history of holding himself above the law, plus a history of releasing classified intelligence in the face of national security requests not to do so. Obviously, national security officials want to make sure he can’t harm U.S. interests. He arguably had that prerogative as president. He does not today as a private citizen.

Trump almost certainly violated national security laws

Legal experts told Business Insider on background that the FBI likely found “pulverizing” evidence when searching Trump’s Mar-A-Lago office. They wouldn’t have sought a warrant if they weren’t sure what they’d find.

As USA Today columnist and former federal prosecutor Michael J. Stern tweeted today, “I have written hundreds of search warrants. Lawyers and people whose homes are being searched are routinely not present during the search. That Trump is now talking about “planted” evidence means he knows there is something damning they found.”

The Log Cabin Republicans don’t care if Trump is guilty. They’ve joined the GOP cult of personality.

It’s bad enough that the Log Cabin crew have abandoned their own principles, or at least what used to be their principles. But what they’re doing today is worse. They’re endorsing the Trump personality cult, seeking personal power at his coattails rather than fighting for freedom and equality for LGBTQ people.

They join many other Republicans praising Trump no matter what he says or does. They join a loud GOP chorus singing the praises of a man who would be dictator, a man who told General John Kelly that he wished his other generals would be loyal to him like Nazi generals were loyal to Adolf Hitler.

Log Cabin joins a chorus of loyalists who cheered and whistled at last week’s CPAC convention in Texas as Trump spoke for two hours providing what Texas Monthly calls “A Violent Blueprint for Seizing Power,” including sweeping plans to replace civil servants with Trump loyalists.

At the same convention, Hungarian prime minister Viktor Orbán earned whistles and cheers as loud as Trump’s, praising authoritarian nationalism antithetical to American democratic ideals. An eastern European despot shared a Texas stage with Trump, and Republicans cheered them both.

Perhaps Log Cabin Republicans should think a little harder about Texas, where they were recently barred from participating in the state Republican Convention, which produced a platform calling gay people “abnormal” and rejecting trans identities.

That’s the Republican Party Trump is empowering. Those are the candidates he’s endorsing. Orbán’s rabid anti-LGBTQ ideology is WHY he was at CPAC, why he was cheered so loudly.

So, what’s up, Log Cabin Republicans? What have you done with your principles and integrity? Why are you slavishly supporting a man turning the GOP into a howling pack of anti-gay, anti-trans wolves?

Ask yourselves that as you think about the raid on the Stonewall Inn, about how it was an attempt by the powerful to crush the freedom of the marginalized and the powerless.

Think about that as you consider how powerful Republicans today are rallying behind Trump to try to crush us again.

The rest of you? Please get out in November and vote Democrat like your lives depend on it. Because they just might.


James Finn is a columnist for the LA Blade, a former Air Force intelligence analyst, an alumnus of Queer Nation and Act Up NY, and an “agented” but unpublished novelist. Send questions, comments, and story ideas to [email protected]


The preceding article was previously published by Prism & Pen– Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling and is republished by permission.

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Legislation may negatively impact LGBTQ+ kids already feeling isolated

Why our policymakers should think twice before passing legislation that may inhibit access for queer teens to social media



Graphic courtesy of the Grant Halliburton Foundation

By Isaias Hernandez | LOS ANGELES – It seems difficult to comprehend that living in California in 2022, coming out as queer is still terrifying. With homophobic and transphobic legislation being introduced and passed in states across the country, including Florida’s law that allows parents to sue a school district if a teacher says the word “gay,” it is easy to assume that the state of California is far removed from that.

Unfortunately, laws like these in California are not an impossibility. Let’s not forget, it was just a short 14 years ago that Golden State voters chose to ban same-sex marriage by passing Proposition 8. It’s an unfortunate reality, but the decision to fully come out may never feel completely safe for many of us – which is why finding a community where we feel welcomed and accepted when we are young is so important, and why our policymakers should think twice before passing legislation that may inhibit access for queer teens to social media. 

Like many other queer teens who are also people of color, my high school years were hard. I did not feel safe being myself at home or at school, and on the precipice of adulthood, instead of finding my voice, I retreated and shrank myself to fit the role I thought I was expected to play. And then finally in 2019, I created a place where I could be my true self: a queer, brown, environmental justice fighter.  

When I created my Instagram account, @QueerBrownVegan, I was told that I shouldn’t talk about my queerness and that my environmental activism would be diminished by my queer identity. Knowing what I do about LGBTQI+ communities and the outsized impact the climate crisis and environmental injustices have on this vulnerable population, though, solidified my choice to keep my queerness front and center. 

I relied on the social connectedness of Instagram to create my online presence and to discover people who had similar interests as me. The photos, videos, and accounts I searched for would lead to recommendations of other like-minded people. It opened an entirely new world to me – and led to me feeling accepted and seen. This platform has also helped me to hold space for others, too. When young, queer environmentalists find my account, they too can feel like they’ve finally found a space of their own where they won’t feel judged or be bullied for being who they truly are. 

The community I have built on Instagram is one I wish I could have found when I was a teenager. This community has not only allowed me to be myself but also to forgive myself for the years I spent hating who I was. Social media gives teens from marginalized communities – brown, black, queer, disabled, fat, whatever and whoever they are – a place to find a community where they feel less alone and less marginalized. 

Recently, there has been a discussion in California’s Capitol about how to best keep teens safe on social media. To Sacramento, I say this: Queer teens are not safe when they are being ridiculed at school, they are not safe when their parents abuse them for a sexuality or gender they did not choose, and queer teens are not safe when they cannot be themselves. Social media is sometimes the safest space for queer teens who have nowhere else to be themselves. 

Bills like California Assembly Bill 2408 (AB 2408), that would impose strict standards on social media companies, could prevent young people from using social media at all, and that could have a dire impact on an already isolated young person who is looking for information or support from a community of people they otherwise may never find. With 45% of LGBTQ youth having seriously considered attempting suicide in the past year, that is not a risk lawmakers should be willing to take.

I urge lawmakers to think about queer youth and youth from other marginalized communities – listen to their stories and understand the importance of being able to create a community where they can finally be themselves, unapologetically.


Courtesy of Isaias Hernandez

Isaias Hernandez is an environmental educator & founder of QueerBrownVegan.

Queer Brown Vegan is an environmental media platform that discusses the intersections around climate, LGBTQ issues, and food.

He seeks to advance the discourse around climate literacy through an intersectional media lens.

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My Michigan neighbors shutter “pornographic” public library

Their definition is peculiar: LGBTQ = Porno. You know book banning is out of control when people fight to close public libraries



Burning book photo licensed from Adobe Stock.

By James Finn | DETROIT – Think that book banning doesn’t happen in the United States, that it’s only the stuff of dystopian fiction? Think again! Hear about that Iowa library that closed early this summer because three head librarians quit, one after the other? They and the rest of the staff got tired (and frightened) of being called groomers and pedophiles by loud homophobes and racists who don’t want ANYBODY in their community reading books about LGBTQ people or about the U.S. history of slavery and segregation.

You know book banning is out of control when people fight to close public libraries

Some community members celebrated when the library shut its doors. Mission accomplished!

They were not fighting for space to express their own opinions. They were demanding their neighbors be barred from reading differing opinions. They were willing to make the lives of professional librarians hell — including a gay librarian who became a target of particular harassment, from the way he dressed to the way he spoke.

This NBC Newlong read is instructive and frightening: (LINK)

Last week, the story came home to me in Michigan

For a little background first, PEN America says U.S. public-library book banning has reached heights they’ve never seen before:

Today, books in the US are under profound attack. They are disappearing from library shelves, being challenged in droves, being decreed off limits by school boards, legislators, and prison authorities. And everywhere, it is the books that have long fought for a place on the shelf that are being targeted. Books by authors of color, by LGBTQ+ authors, by women. Books about racism, sexuality, gender, history.

In 1922, literary luminaries like Willa Cather, Eugene O’Neill, Robert Frost, Ellen Glasgow, Edwin Arlington Robinson, Robert Benchley, and Booth Tarkington founded PEN America to foster connections around the world and fight book banning. I wonder if they imagined that a century later the problem would be worse than ever?

They are trying to groom our children to believe that it’s OK to have these sinful desires. [Shutting the library down] is not a political issue, it’s a Biblical issue.

While Pen fights community efforts to remove books from libraries, a Michigan town near me responded by going after the library itself.

Jamestown, Michigan voters opted last Tuesday to defund their library rather than tolerate books by or about LGBTQ people — not even if the books are in the adult section of the library with a jacket cover “warning,” not even if the books are behind the counter and have to be requested from a librarian.

“Gender Queer” cover art from Goodreads

It all started early this year when groups of up to 50 people began attending meetings of the elected library board, first demanding that the memoir-comic Gender Queer by Maia Kobabe be removed from the library’s collection, then moving on to a list of about 90 other books, almost the library’s entire collection of books about same-sex relationships and transgender people.

Then, just like in Iowa, two staff members quit their jobs. Former library director Amber McLain told Bridge Michigan she resigned after being accused of being a pedophile and becoming the target of daily online harassment.

She says the the details are ugly:

I had to change my name on Facebook for a time to prevent messages that were starting to come in. I never read any of them fully, but it was the typical fare — that I’m evil, that I’m indoctrinating kids. In March, a woman came into the library filming on her cell phone. She said she was looking for ‘that pedophile librarian’ and ‘the freak with the pink hair.’

Residents cite religious beliefs for voting to shut down library

A coalition of conservative Jamestown residents began campaigning against funding for the library in May while protesting a Pride Month book display. When the couldn’t convince the library board to remove LGBTQ-themed books from the shelves, not satisfied with compromises to restrict access to the books, they took to the streets to convince their neighbors the town would be better off without a public library at all.

Yard signs urging residents to vote no on funding the library popped up all over town, one sign across the street from the library, another in the lawn of a library board member who did not respond to Bridge Michigan’s request for comment.

One homemade sign said, “50 percent increase to GROOM our kids? Vote NO on Library!”

Amanda Ensing, one of the organizers of the drive to defund down the library, emerged from the library last Tuesday after, in a twist of irony, casting her ballot there. She told a reporter, “They are trying to groom our children to believe that it’s OK to have these sinful desires. [Shutting the library down] is not a political issue, it’s a Biblical issue.”

She did not explain why her private religious beliefs should restrict access to books for people whose religious ideas differ from hers.

She won, though.

Voters said no to the funding, gutting the library’s 2023–24 $245,000 budget. After this year, the lights are likely to go off and the doors to close, permanently, according to Larry Walton, library board president.

“I wasn’t expecting anything like this,” he told reporters. “The library is the center of the community. For individuals to be short sighted to close that down over opposing LGBTQ is very disappointing.”

Many Michigan public libraries and school libraries have found themselves under community fire over books with LGBTQ themes, but last Tuesday is the first time a Michigan community voted to close a library because a library board refused to ban books.

Let’s talk about pornography, what it is and what it isn’t

A common theme in library censorship debates this year is pornography. The people in Iowa and Michigan who tried to force library boards to ban LGBTQ-themed books did so on the grounds that the books are “pornographic,” citing descriptions of sexual acts or sexualized images. One of the drawings in Gender Queer, for example, features frontal nudity, though calling that clinical drawing porn is beyond silly.

It’s true that some of the books they object to, like Jonathan Evison’s Lawn Boy, at the top of censorship lists this year, include passages about sex and sexuality, but to characterize them as pornographic is also beyond silly.

And it’s blatant hypocrisy.

I keep scanning banned book lists for mentions of beloved YA classics like John Green’s The Fault in Our StarsThat novel, and many like it, treat teenage (straight) sexuality with respect and sensitivity but don’t shy away from depicting it.

I hesitate to write this, because I don’t want to give book-banning activists any ideas, but Green’s novel and many like it contain much more frank discussion of sexuality than Lawn Boy or other books activists target over LGBTQ material.

Curiously, one California middle school briefly pulled The Fault in Our Stars from library shelves in 2014 due to parental concern, mostly arguing that 11–13 year olds are too young to read about teenage cancer and death. The school board voted to restore the book about two months later.

Green’s response to the censorship was sardonic and on point:

I guess I am both happy and sad.

I am happy because apparently young people in Riverside, California will never witness or experience mortality since they won’t be reading my book, which is great for them.

But I am also sad because I was really hoping I would be able to introduce the idea that human beings die to the children of Riverside, California and thereby crush their dreams of immortality.

I remember reading The Fault in Our Stars shortly after it came out and feeling a great deal of awe for Green — about how he mined beauty and insight from a story about a terminally ill girl. As far as I know, few people ever claimed that her loving (eventually sexual) relationship with a boy qualifies the novel as pornography.

Porn? What a silly idea!

The novel is art, though it contains sexual passages. It’s not porn because it contains important literary value, namely an exploration of mortality, grief, and joy — where you’d least expect to find joy.

Well, I’m here to tell you that Lawn Boy and most of the other LGBTQ-themed books topping this year’s ban lists contain far less sex than A Fault in Our Stars and other popular, non-controversial books for teens.

Lawn Boy is not porn. It’s a novel that features three or four non-graphic sexual paragraphs out of 320 pages that don’t talk about sex. Critics and readers love the book, which is also joyful in unexpected ways, written by a literary phenom with important insight into the human condition and certain contradictions of American culture.

That one of the main characters turns out to be gay at the end of the book is almost incidental.

Porn? What a silly idea!

But according to my neighbors in Jamestown, queer sexuality is porn by default. Is dystopia coming true?

My neighbors hate Lawn Boy so much they’ll close their library rather than leave open any possibility that somebody might read it. Making their own choices isn’t enough. They insist they must control what other people read and what other people’s children read.

Trans characters and lesbian/gay characters having sex or talking about having sex is, to them, pornography by definition. Cis/straight people having sex or talking about having sex is not. Maybe they don’t like that either, but they didn’t campaign to close the library over The Fault in Our Stars.

Remember Jack Petocz, one of the Florida high school students who rallied teenagers to protest against Governor DeSantis’s Don’t Say Gay law? PEN America honored him this year with their Freedom of Expression Courage Award after he campaigned to get books about LGBTQ people and Black people into students’ hands.

Jack says kids deserve to read about themselves and about people different from them. He says banning books is un-American. He says representation matters.

I agree with Jack and PEN.

Most people do. Banning books is antithetical to American values, contrary to our traditions of freedom, curiosity, and education. Most of us WANT to understand people who are different from us, not put our hands over our eyes and pretend those people don’t exist.

It’s come to this: Christian conservatives in a town near me just voted to shutter their library rather than tolerate books about people different from them.

Will you raise your voices with me in defense of books and libraries?

I can’t believe I need to ask, but according to PEN, the need is greater today than at any time in American history.


James Finn is a columnist for the LA Blade, a former Air Force intelligence analyst, an alumnus of Queer Nation and Act Up NY, and an “agented” but unpublished novelist. Send questions, comments, and story ideas to [email protected]


The preceding article was previously published by Prism & Pen– Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling and is republished by permission.

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