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New Wave Ex-Gay Christian admits frequent sex with men

This hypocrisy exposes slippery changed movement claims that being ‘ex-gay’ is possible and lasting in a person

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Jeffrey McCall via his “Changed Movement” Facebook Page in which he claims Jesus delivered him from LGBTQ identity.

By James Finn | DETROIT – A Christian ex-gay leader just admitted he’s had sex with multiple men while preaching freedom from LGBTQ identity. No surprise. Most Christian reparative-therapy or ex-gay leaders have admitted past change claims were baseless.

Many have admitted they never stopped having same-gender sex. This new scandal is surprising because it’s barely a scandal: The leader in question isn’t stepping down or apologizing. Neither he nor anyone else in his movement seems to think his “stumbling” disqualifies him from his mission. Today’s ex-gay Christian leaders are a whole new breed. What does “ex-gay” mean to them? Probably not what you think.

Jeffrey McCall is widely known for appearing in the popular 2021 “Pray Away” documentary and for leading Freedom March, which stages public events to claim Jesus delivers people from unwanted same-sex attraction. Part of the broader Changed Movement group, Freedom March also calls for an end to LGBTQ-equality laws and conversion therapy bans, which organizers claim discriminate against Christians.

Pray Away mostly spotlights leaders of the previous generation of Christian gay-conversion organizations, like Alan Chambers, as they cope with the traumatic aftermath of the“therapy” they promoted, which they now admit was completely ineffective and often severely harmful. Several principals tell filmmakers they feel great personal guilt for continuing their work even after they came to understand the harm they were causing.

Jeffrey McCall appears in the film to counter that narrative, insisting Christian faith makes sexual-orientation and gender-identity change not only possible but joyful. The film has made him a big name in conservative Christian circles, where he is held up as a hero for daring to preach truth against prevailing “secular” wisdom.

He claims he’s still “ex-gay” even though he’s never stopped desiring and actually having sex with men.

Two weeks ago, however, Wayne Besen of the anti-conversion-therapy Truth Wins Out group reported that McCall, who identified as gay or transgender at earlier points in his life, has spent a lot of time seeking out sex with men on Freedom March’s dime. Besen released the following statement to Metro Weekly after spotting a little-noticed Facebook post McCall made in November:

Jeffrey McCall is a self-serving con artist who runs a fraudulent organization that preys on vulnerable and desperate LGBTQ people who grow up in religious homes. If McCall had an ounce of integrity he’d apologize for his rank hypocrisy and shut down his odious Freedom March racket before it ruins more lives. McCall’s own actions prove that he has no ability to ‘help’ anyone, starting with himself.

McCall had sex with multiple men last summer at an ex-gay march he organized

Last June, Metro Weekly reported that Freedom March would be “descending on D.C. this weekend.” The Christian ex-gay activists would not be “opening Grindr or Scruff while alone in their hotel rooms,” snarked Metro Weekly. Nor, the reporter joked, would they be frequenting numerous D.C. gay bars that just happened to be reopening after covid restrictions. Instead, the ex-gay activists would “be protesting against bans on conversion therapy.”

The article might have sounded comical at the time, but it turns out that McCall, whose D.C. visit was paid for by membership contributions, actually did spend much of his time in D.C. having sex with men. In McCall’s November Facebook post, he admitted to sex with multiple men, claiming he repented from “sin” many times. He claims he’s still “ex-gay” even though he’s never stopped desiring and actually having sex with men.

Everytime I fell I would truly repent and turn away again. I would feel Gods [sic] love, mercy, and forgiveness sometimes before I could even finish the prayer. (I am not condoning this sin at all I’m just sharing what happened when I fell).

Freedom March and the Changed Movement send slippery, contradictory messages

If McCall’s “fraud” sounds like a common but distasteful conversion therapy narrative, keep reading, because this story is more complex than that. McCall and other leaders of the Changed Movement group are not your parents’ conversion therapists. They don’t make the bold claims of Alan Chambers or other members of the previous generation of Christian conversion therapists who have admitted they never managed to change anyone.

Instead, as the Washington Post observed in 2019, “The ex-gay Christianity movement is making a quiet comeback” with significantly different practices. McCall has has been one of the leading faces of that revival. Leaders like him seldom make explicit, disprovable claims about attraction change. If pressed, they deny practicing or even condoning conversion therapy, even though they insist it should be legal for people who want it. Instead, they claim identity change and behavior change can offer unhappy LGBTQ people Christian joy. Simultaneously, they dangle anecdotes about profound attraction change that really do rise to the level of fraudulent claims — morally if not legally.

“The new incarnation is hipper and perhaps more evolved,” says the 2019 NY Times report. “Yet beneath the cosmetic tweaks sits the same message that has damaged many lives over many decades: If you’re a Christian with same-sex attractions, change is both possible and necessary.”

McCall and his Changed Movement peers offer “freedom from LGBT identity,” carefully minimizing an underlying message that “freedom” probably will not mean elimination of “unwanted same-sex attraction.” You have to dig into personal stories to spot that crucial qualifier.

Pulse Nightclub massacre survivor Javier Ruiz is one of the movement’s more plain-spoken leaders. He told the Orlando Weekly in 2018 that he wants people to know they’re “free to leave homosexuality,” but admits he has not personally managed to “pray the gay away.” He says he’s still attracted to men, he just chooses not to have sex with men.

Other leaders are much less explicit. In more common public messaging, movement figures make it sound as if the freedom they offer is freedom from unwanted attraction. This is what the Changed Movement website proclaims in bold headlines:

CHANGED is possible! We are a community of friends who once identified as LGBTQ+. Today, we celebrate the love of Jesus and His freedom in our lives.

If you think that message is about Jesus changing people’s sexual orientation, you’re not alone. You’re supposed to think that. Changed Movement press releases and social media posts use language that on the surface look like they promise freedom from gay or transgender feelings and attractions. If you dig deeper, important details disrupt that message and help explain why McCall isn’t stepping down like Alan Chambers did.

Andrew Ross, for example, describes feeling suicidal as a teenager and young adult.

He writes that sexual attraction to men, which he implies probably stemmed from his being sexually abused and raped when he was a child, filled him with “depression, loss, hurt, anxiety, fear, and shame.” He says that when he was a teenager …

I hated wanting to sleep with men, looking at pornography and being addicted to sex and masturbation. I was a slave to those thoughts. The “feminine” thoughts also ate away at me, and I started acting out with homosexual tendencies in hopes that I wouldn’t have to hide anymore that I was different. I intentionally acted out for people to notice and be faced with seeing my struggle.

He doesn’t explain why he felt guilty about masturbation, which experts say is an ordinary, healthy part of adolescent sexual development. He appears to pathologize ordinary sexual awakening and experiences as “acting out,” possibly owing to his childhood trauma. Sexual development experts, however, long ago debunked theories that gay people “become” gay because they were abused as children.

Andrew says he experienced intense guilt until he was 22, when he turned to Jesus, who he says “set him free.” At first glance, he seems to mean he stopped wanting to have sex with men or wanting to fantasize about men when he masturbated, but if you read carefully, the reality of Changed Movement freedom becomes more clear. Andrew no longer identifies as gay but admits his attractions have not changed. He says he’s no longer a “slave to homosexuality” but still faces temptation to “sin.”

Leslie Reynoso tells a similar story.

She describes feeling intense guilt about same-sex attraction and relationships with women, which she says led her to abuse alcohol and drugs as a teenager. She describes having a panic attack in 2019 followed by a religious experience in which God suggested she’d go to hell if she didn’t stop being gay. She says God then helped her change her identity:

I feel comfortable in my own skin for the first time in my life. I love the woman I am becoming as I let Jesus mold me and show me who I am. My identity is no longer in my attractions but in Christ. I no longer desire to be with a woman: I desire what Jesus wants for my life.

Read that closely. Leslie is not claiming her same-sex attractions went away, only that she no longer bases her identity on them. She doesn’t desire to be with a woman because she believes Jesus doesn’t want her to have sex with women. One wonders how long she’ll feel happy or fulfilled. Based on McCall’s example and the example of ex-gay Christians over the decades, probably not long.

The desire to form intimate, loving, sexual bonds with other humans is fundamentally important to most people. The history of conversion therapy is riddled with the tragedy of religious guilt destroying lives, with high suicide rates being the only measurable outcome of the practice.

Religious guilt is the common thread in Changed Movement testimonies

Ross and Reynoso tell stories remarkably similar to most of the stories Changed promotes. Most of the “ex-gay” advocates say they were raised in conservative religious settings and were either sexually abused as children or “tempted into sin” as adults. They say sin led to them to destructive substance abuse and/or severe mental health problems. Then a religious conversion experience convinced them that identifying as gay or transgender was causing their pain. They subsequently “surrendered to Jesus” and committed either to detransition, to remain celibate, or to try to make a marriage work with an opposite-sex partner.

If what Changed offers is truly freedom, I’d hate to know what slavery would feel like.

I’m not writing to dismiss the genuine pain many of these people are expressing. I’m writing to call out movement leaders for making slippery promises that rise the the level of outright falsehoods. I’m writing to warn vulnerable people at risk of being seduced by the Change Movement that ex-gay doesn’t mean what it looks like.

Jeffrey McCall makes his living being an “ex-gay” Christian, yet he’s so strongly compelled to seek relationships with other men that he can’t stop pursuing them, not even at ex-gay events he organizes, even though continuing to do so could have disastrous professional consequences.

So is McCall truly ex-gay? Is anyone in the Changed Movement truly ex-gay?

I propose McCall has come full circle. Nothing about his life experience holds him up as anything except a traditionalist Christian tied up in ordinary knots of traditionalist-Christian sexual guilt. I propose that all he and his peers have to offer is a lifetime of repressed, suppressed longing for genuine intimacy, love, and partnership.

I feel bad for him. He’s a young man with many years ahead. I hope he doesn’t take as long as Alan Chambers to realize how much he’s fooling himself. More importantly, I hope he stops working so hard to fool others.

He may think falling and then repenting (over and over again) is no reason to stop believing an ex-gay life is a real possibility, but if you’re considering asking God to change your sexual orientation or gender identity, ask yourself this:

If Alan Chambers and his generation tried and failed for years, and if Jeffrey McCall doesn’t even pretend he can’t stop wanting to have sex with men, does the ex-gay world truly have anything to offer?

Why don’t you seek out a church filled with Christians who love Jesus and say God offers them joy just as he created them? You can start here, at ChurchClarity.org, which will guide you to an LGBTQ-affirming church in your area.

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James Finn is a former Air Force intelligence analyst, long-time LGBTQ activist, an alumnus of Queer Nation and Act Up NY, a frequent columnist for the LA Blade, a contributor to other LGBTQ news outlets, and an “agented” but unpublished novelist. Send questions, comments, and story ideas to [email protected]

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The preceding article was previously published by Prism & Pen– Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling and is republished by permission.

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Biden: Empty political theater on LGBTQ equality & Black voter protection

The president’s speech in Atlanta this week offered little substance and no action

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President Joseph Biden, caricature by DonkeyHotey. (CC BY 2.0)

By James Finn | DETROIT – Shortly before Joe Biden was inaugurated, LGBTQ Nation leaked a conference call between mainstream LGBTQ advocates and the president-elect in which he backed off repeated, forcible campaign promises to make passage of the Equality Act a top priority during his administration’s first 100 days.

I wrote an article criticizing him for reneging on his pledge. The LA Blade picked up my piece as an op-ed, and it went viral, the Blade’s most-read story for the month.

President Biden began his presidency by abandoning a major campaign pledge to LGBTQ voters. Is he abandoning Black voters too?

I got a tremendous amount of feedback, much of it negative, more of it counseling patience, but now that a year has passed, let’s take a look at how things worked out.

In the first days of his presidency, Biden did vital work with pro-LGBTQ executive orders — redirecting the federal bureaucracy, which had become overtly homo/transphobic under Trump, and working to fix transgender military policy — but he never pushed for the Equality Act, which would have finally offered LGBTQ people status as free people in our own nation, protected at law from discrimination in housing, employment, public accommodations, credit, education, etc.

Without the Act, his executive orders won’t be worth the paper they’re written on when the next Republican president takes office.

Not only did President Biden fail to spend political capital to make the Act a top priority in his first 100 days, he never made it a priority of any kind.

Beltway insiders tell me the president did nothing behind the scenes to honor the pledge he made repeatedly to LGBTQ people in exchange for our votes. He did nothing publicly either. No national speeches. No fireside chats. No appeals to the better angels of the American people. He just stopped talking about the Equality Act, like if he never mentioned it again, we’d forget he promised to prioritize it.

The House passed the Act again this year, but it stalled in the face of Senate filibuster rules, which require 60 out of 100 votes for most legislation to pass. Progressive Democrats have been calling for ending or changing the filibuster since the day Biden took office, but not until Tuesday did he announce support for changes. Which brings us to the second half of today’s grievance.

Biden is betraying Black voters, and Black leaders are calling him out

In recent days, pressure has been intensifying on President Biden to lead on passing meaningful protections to counter strict new state-level laws that Republicans have been enacting to make voting more difficult, especially for Black voters.

Two federal laws proposed by Democrats, — the Freedom to Vote Act and the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act — would protect voter rights by (among other things) creating national standards for mail-in voting and restoring stripped-out elements of the Voting Rights Act. Republicans know the only way they can stay in power in many states is to suppress votes, especially the votes of Black people and other people of color. Republican senators fiercely oppose voter protection and will filibuster.

Stacey Abrams, former member of the Georgia House of Representatives, voting rights activist, and gubernatorial candidate. Photo by Gage Skidmore. (CC BY-SA 2.0)

President Biden traveled to Atlanta on Tuesday to make a speech about supporting voter protection. Finally, after nearly a year in office, he indicated he might support changing the filibuster custom. The nation yawned. Black voters blinked. LGBTQ voters sighed in dismay.

A number of influential Black political activists in Georgia snubbed Biden’s speech, saying in advance they would not bother attending an event they called a “waste of time.” Democratic gubernatorial hopeful Stacey Abrams was notably absent, which she and Biden both claimed was due to a scheduling conflict, but Georgia political insiders say she was sending the president a powerful message: Get serious. Take action. Stop with meaningless political theater, especially on my turf, where I’ve been doing the kind of real work you won’t do.

Biden has been painfully slow to move on filibuster reform

Obviously, the 50/50 Dem/Rep split in the Senate is not the president’s fault. Nor is he responsible for the recalcitrance of Democratic Senators Joe Manchin of West Virginia and Kyrsten Sinema of Arizona. They have each refused to consider filibuster reform, and without their votes it can’t happen.

But does Biden even want filibuster change?

He has consistently served up weak tea on the issue, calling himself an “institutionalist” and an “incrementalist,” which Democratic leaders have taken to mean he either doesn’t support overhauling Senate rules, or that he won’t get tough on Democratic senators who vote against overhauls.

If Biden has tried even half-heartedly to strong-arm Manchin and Sinema, he has not done so in public. Beltway insiders say he hasn’t done anything, just like he hasn’t prioritized the Equality Act.

Meanwhile, while the Democratic Party led by Joe Biden waffles and drifts, the Republicans maintain tight party discipline and look set to take the House back this year. They will continue to push agendas cementing themselves in power, putting democracy itself in grave danger, and making life for minorities increasingly unequal, painful, and difficult.

Member of those minorities have a message for the president

We don’t care about your institutions, Joe. We don’t value Senate customs and traditions, which mean nothing to us beyond what they can or can’t accomplish. We care about action. We demand results. You promised to deliver, and you’re failing us. Now you choose to go to Atlanta and say some pretty words? Nobody wants pretty words, Joe. You can keep them.

Look, we know your heart is in the right place, but we want your muscle to be in the right place. We want you to take charge, to LEAD, to exercise some of the awesome power of your office.

We expect you to play to win, to twist arms, to name and shame, to do whatever it takes to keep the promises you made to us when you needed our votes.

You need to get serious, Mr. President. If you don’t start kicking ass and taking names, don’t count on us to vote for you again. I mean that. There’s a REASON you’re dropping precipitously in the polls. It’s us, man. It’s Democratic members of minorities fed up with your milquetoast, do-nothing, business-as-usual approach to crises we see as EXISTENTIAL. While Republican rank-and-file are telling pollsters they believe armed violence against the government may be desirable, and while they’re demonizing Black people, immigrants, and queer people, you’re acting like everything is relatively fine.

It’s not.

We voted for a champion, but we got you instead, a very nice man who evidently lacks the gonads to fight for us. Please turn that around. Please get real. Please get tough. Please start fighting to win.

Today would be an excellent day to start keeping your promises.

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James Finn is a former Air Force intelligence analyst, long-time LGBTQ activist, an alumnus of Queer Nation and Act Up NY, a frequent columnist for the LA Blade, a contributor to other LGBTQ news outlets, and an “agented” but unpublished novelist. Send questions, comments, and story ideas to [email protected]

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The preceding article was previously published by Prism & Pen– Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling and is republished by permission.

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LGBTQ Catholic priest who rescues homeless youth rebukes Bishop

I wanted to keep him out of trouble with the Church, but he shows no evidence of wishing the same in this impassioned plea for love & justice

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St. Peter Cathedral of Marquette, the Catholic Diocese of Marquette, Michigan (Photo via Facebook)

By James Finn | LOS ANGELES – Fr. Andy Herman is a Roman Catholic priest who corresponds with me about LGBTQ issues. I have sometimes observed that Catholic priests are reluctant to publicly criticise Church teachings and practices.

Andy is a remarkable, refreshing exception. He offered to be interviewed. I asked him to write up a first-person story. This is it, after I edited and polished it. I wanted to keep him out of trouble with the Church, but he shows no evidence of wishing the same, which you’ll see in this impassioned, earthy plea for love and justice.

If this story inspires you, ask him for more, especially accounts of his youth rescue work in Los Angeles, which is hair-raising love in action.

Hi! My name’s Andy!

(“Hi Andy!” )

I’m bisexual!

(“Welcome, Andy!” [Applause.])

And I have been “intrinsically disordered” for… 74 years!

([Applause picks up, whoops & shouts of encouragement and congratulations.])

I know that’s tweaked a bit, because to be honest I’m not personally familiar with 12-step meetings. But the real problem is, it’s ass backwards.

My real name IS Andy. Andy Herman. Father Andy Herman. I’m a Roman Catholic priest.

I retired myself from public ministry with the institutional Catholic Church, because many years ago I vowed to make sure my mom and dad would never have to go into a nursing home as they declined in age. Which vow I was able to keep.

I was also canonically bounced out of my religious community, because I decided not to return to them while I was taking care of my parents. It was all very friendly. Honestly. I have the documentation to prove it.

But I’m not here to talk about me.

I am here to talk about the ass backwards garbage coming out of the Catholic Diocese of Marquette, Michigan.

I’m sure those of you who keep up with Catholic news know what I’m talking about. Members of the LGBTQIA+ community in that diocese have, in essence, been told to go eff themselves.

LGBTQ Catholics are not wanted in Upper Michigan in any way, shape, or form. They will not be permitted to take part in most (or any) of the sacramental and communal life of the Church.

What I do now is try to help homeless people on the street, most especially homeless kids, and really most especially, LGBTQ kids.

The Marquette Diocese is led by a Bishop whose name I will not utter, in the manner of news organizations not repeating the name of a perpetrator of a particularly terrible crime. That’s what’s going on in Upper Michigan — crimes against LGBTQIA+ people, especially Roman Catholics.

Let’s call him Bishop ID, Intrinsically Disordered, because that’s what the Catechism of the Catholic Church calls US. Or better yet, let me refer to him as Bishop AB. Sure you get that one right off.

I ranted about this situation in a letter to the Prism & Pen editors, when it was first reported here. I was told maybe I could pen something, but just shave off some of the rougher ranting edges. So, I think I’ve un-ranted pretty much, and also don’t want to go into some analysis that’s already been done.

I just want to present a couple of points to the people of Upper Michigan, especially those of you who may be LGBTQ+ Catholics, and, I guess, particularly to those of you who may want to remain in the Church.

Or not.

I’ll also presume that latter description is one that many of you have already answered. Like so many of us, you’ve already left a place where you’re not wanted.

Let me just briefly tell you what these points are, and, if you think they’re worth something, please share them if it’s at all appropriate, especially with young people who are on the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.

I grew up in Chicago and have been out here in Los Angeles for many years. What I do now is try to help homeless people on the street, most especially homeless kids, and really most especially, LGBTQ kids.

So I am sick and tired — to put it mildly — to have to, for the 3 millionth time in my life, explain THIS to kids who are of our community:

  • There is not a damn thing wrong with you.
  • God does love you, and Jesus never said an effing thing against you.

Period. But let me not rant further.

Let me, as a trained Roman Catholic priest, make the following points:

1.) Apparently, the Bishop of Marquette, and so many others like him, have spent not one moment praying, meditating, contemplating, experiencing, talking about, or studying anything of any consequence regarding the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

What the Bishop is perpetrating is utterly opposite to that Gospel. I’m wrong about a lot of things in life, but I damn well know what I just said is accurate. The only persons who are “intrinsically disordered” here are Bishop AB and his cohorts.

To my fellow LGBTQ people, I say continue to be safe, protect yourselves, and THRIVE in all the practical ways you can, especially you who are our children. Never be the victims of this garbage, inside or outside yourselves.

2.) Pope Francis has called for a two-year process of synodality, and especially asked that people whose voices are opposite to, or never heard in the context of the Catholic Church, be given a seat at the table to discuss where the hell the Church should be going in years to come.

So, if you have the inkling to, speak up and tell Bishop AB that the Pope has personally invited you to sit at the table and give, even if that giving is seen as opposing the traditional, death-encrusted way talking about our faith that our Catholic leaders have indulged in for far too long.

3.) What Bishop AB has done is absolutely and utterly in contradiction to the morality of the Gospel, and certainly to the best pastoral practice of Catholic Church teaching. More than anything, he stands in utter defiance of Pope Francis’ attitude, which puts caring about people in front of stagnant, dormant, full-of-crap definitions of dogma and Catholic practice.

Bishop AB has declared dangerous nonsense against our community in the Diocese of Marquette, and if you want to get involved, please, you should immediately contact the Office of the Apostolic Nuncio to the United States, Archbishop Christophe Pierre. Ask that a canonical investigation of Bishop AB be initiated, and ask that — if the findings are as accurate as they are publicly presented now, and he is in egregious violation of the teachings of Jesus Christ — that he be removed from office immediately.

With a sigh, I would also suggest that you might recommend an investigation to determine if Bishop AB is something like a “Bishop Roy Cohn,” a name I would give him if he, sadly, is a self-hating member of our community, just like the notorious lawyer on the national scene years ago.

Here is the Nuncio’s contact information:

Apostolic Nunciature

Office: 202-333-7121Fax: 202-337-4036 Working Days and Hours: Monday through Friday, from 9:00 am until 4:30 pm

With…www.nuntiususa.org

4.) No matter what you want to do, please always realize you don’t have to celebrate sacraments to get into heaven, if that’s the way you think about things, especially if the people who are supposed to guard the integrity of your “immortal soul” refuse you access to those very sacraments.

You can really get in contact with Jesus with the same surety as they supposedly offer, by simply sitting and praying — or gathering together with priests who have the cojones to offer Mass and celebrate the other sacraments, with and for you.

And if none of those “guys” up there in Michigan’s UP will do this, do it yourselves. Baptize one another. Confirm your kids reaching adulthood into belief that Jesus loves them. Forgive one another.

And most of all, consecrate bread and wine under the aegis that if two or three are gathered together in Jesus name, he is absolutely and uncontestedly present with and to you.

This is not BS passing for shallow theology. It is based in the Gospels.

5.) My last point is an old one from a most moldy and oldie traditional pastoral theology of the Sacrament of Penance, but it bears looking at. If a penitent is not able in some ways to recognize that he or she has sinned, or there are other confusions and concerns about whether or not the sins can be forgiven, a confessor can take upon himself the sins of the penitent, in order that the penitent be freed and given absolution.

So all of you LGBTQ people out there who make love, get married, and have great and loving sex, all of which are considered grievous sins by the Catholic Church, send the damn things over to me, because I sure as hell WILL accept them without any fear of ending up in hell myself. (If you even talk in language like that, because I don’t.)

Even if you don’t go to confession anymore, that’s my offer as a priest. Just sit down, get yourself into a state where you can think about these things, and send them over to me.

I will absorb them, and you are free to go about your normal, regular daily life. But please only do this if it really bothers you and you think that way. Otherwise, who cares?

Do you really think Jesus is sitting at the prosecutors’ table or even behind the bench as the judge, and wants to forgive you for stuff that, even to a nitpicker, isn’t worth being denied 10 nanoseconds of eternity without being completely wrapped up with God?

Remember who’s intrinsically disordered.

You may be an ass, you may be a jerk, you may be evil as hell, you may be lots of things, but you are not an evil person just because you are LGBTQ. You/We are exactly the opposite: we are the sons and daughters of a loving God, brothers and sisters of Jesus of Nazareth, the Anointed One.

If that’s how you want to phrase it.

The only kind of sex that is ever evil or sinful is coercive sex, otherwise known as assault and/or rape. That includes trafficking, but cannot include sex workers themselves, per se.

If someone is forced to do that to stay alive, or doing it for some negative psychological or emotional reason, the situation is evil, not the people forced into it. Gay, straight, or anywhere on the spectrum.

Let’s not get confused about this. Jesus never said anything about this.

Back when the early church sought to make itself more credible, it adopted certain forms of Greek philosophy, including this idea known as the “Natural Law.” Saint Thomas Aquinas adopted and pushed these ideas. He was apparently not a bad guy, but he cannot possibly stand in as a substitute for Jesus.

All that extra-Biblical natural law business, mixed up with the rather primitive prescriptions against any kind of same-sex anything, especially in the Jewish scriptures — well, that leads to the wondrously inhumane, tragically harmful attitudes and behaviors we see too often in the Church today.

Stay away from this thinking, these attitudes and actions.

Read the Gospel. Talk to people who don’t like being cruel and hateful to others, especially to kids. Band together with them. I think you’ll find that the brief analysis I’ve given here on these points is accurate.

Stay away from those who are the opposite, like Bishop AB and his followers. If you feel like telling them to go to hell, I don’t think it’s going to really matter because they may be on their way anyway.

But everyone, even the most horrible sinners, can be forgiven. So I say, “Look in the mirror, Bishop AB.”

In the words of Pope Francis, “Who am I to judge?” I don’t know who any of you are in person, but I send you my love and my support and my prayer and I ask you, please — for me and most especially for the homeless LGBTQ youth I work with — to throw it all back at me.

In the name of Jesus of Nazareth, Son of God, Son of Man, or whoever you really think he is: Love one another, unconditionally, as he loves us.

Thanks for reading.

Fr. Andy Herman

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James Finn is a former Air Force intelligence analyst, long-time LGBTQ activist, an alumnus of Queer Nation and Act Up NY, a frequent columnist for the LA Blade, a contributor to other LGBTQ news outlets, and an “agented” but unpublished novelist. Send questions, comments, and story ideas to [email protected]

********************

The preceding article was previously published by Prism & Pen– Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling and is republished by permission.

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New York state public high school silences gay student & role model

Principal of Tully High School near Syracuse, New York says writing about overcoming homophobic bullying is forbidden

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Tyler Johnson in his viral TikTok. Image used with permission.

By James Finn | SYRACUSE – When 17-year-old Tyler Johnson walked into Tully High School near Syracuse, New York yesterday morning, he felt anxious and unwelcome in the building. He was afraid of a talk he had to have with Principal Mike O’Brien, who’d just forbidden him to come out as gay in a school publication, had forbidden him to share how he’d overcome bullying and depression that caused him severe mental and physical health problems as an early teen. As Tyler walked the halls, he heard words of encouragement.

“Tully needed you!” shouted one kid.

Still, Tyler was aware of an undercurrent of disapproval from his conservative upstate New York community, and he was scared about how the day would turn out.

Thus continued a roller coaster of acceptance/rejection that began Thursday and continued late into yesterday evening. Tyler’s story is too similar to stories of LGBTQ youth across the U.S. It’s a powerful reminder of important work that remains to be done, and of the importance of heroes.

It all started when Tyler was selected to be honored then got censored

Tully High School administrators publish a monthly newsletter; each issue features a “Senior Spotlight” highlighting one outstanding student, who answers a series of questions in an interview format. Tyler was thrilled to be selected as January’s Senior Spotlight.

In the TikTok video embedded below, you can listen to one of his answers:

So I answered truthfully with the biggest challenge I’d had to overcome: The biggest challenge I faced was growing up gay and coming out. I had to learn how to become comfortable in my own skin and how to stay strong through bullying and all the negative experiences I had while trying to navigate through life.

@_tylerrayjohnson_ so my school is homophobic 😛 #gay #gayteen #highschool #foryoupage #fypシ #discriminacion ♬ original sound – Tyler

Shortly after Tyler submitted his answers, Principal O’Brien pulled him aside and told him he would have to rewrite. Tyler paraphrases O’Brien like this: “You’re such a unique student, such a positive face in our community. We want you in the Spotlight, but you can’t say you’re gay or that overcoming bullying is your accomplishment.”

O’Brien explained that district policy does not allow mention of “sexuality, orientation, religion, or illegal drugs,” in the Senior Spotlight.

O’Brien was lying, but more on that in a moment.

Tyler refused to rewrite or allow his answer to be omitted, saying he’d rather not be honored than have his truths silenced. His mother , Pamela Custer, called O’Brien on the phone to stand up for her son, but the principal would not change his mind, repeating (untruthfully) that he could not go against formal district policy.

Community support exploded after Tyler’s video caught fire

Tyler posted his TikTok Thursday evening, by Friday morning, it had over 5,000 views, and his phone blew up with messages of support, including a text message from the president of the Tully Board of Education, who told Tyler she believed what was happening to him was wrong.

Early Friday morning, after a colleague tipped me off, I emailed Tyler asking for an interview. He responded immediately, saying he appreciated any help he could get, not just for himself but for other LGBTQ students at Tully and elsewhere, many of them still closeted, who deserve respect and support.

By the time Tyler and I spoke in the afternoon, he was thrilled. He’d had another meeting with Principal O’Brien, who told Tyler he was sorry he didn’t feel welcome, that he supported LGBTQ students, approved of the GSA (Gender and Sexual Alliance) club that Tyler and other students are forming. He said he had arranged a change to or an exception from district policy and that Tyler’s full answers would be published in a future Senior Spotlight, though not in January’s, since a different student had already taken Tyler’s place.

Then the rollercoaster took another dive

I was all set to write a supportive “hero’s tale” about Tyler, highlighting him as a positive force educating people (even educators) about the need for LGBTQ equality. Tyler is outgoing, cheerful, articulate, and persuasive. Not many students would have found the courage and capacity to challenge censorship and homophobia the way he did. He’s a leader setting an outstanding example. That’s worth a story all on its own!

But he and his mom Pam called me last night with more of the story, which is less positive and has Tyler anxious again. He’s nervous about going to school on Monday, and for good reason.

Let me back up.

When Tyler wrote that he overcame bullying and depression, he wasn’t kidding. Pam filled me on the details, and Tyler has given me permission to share them. When he was an early teen living in West Virginia, he struggled to come to grips with being gay. He was closeted to everyone, sometimes even denying the truth to himself, but he was bullied anyway, taunted for presenting as less than traditionally masculine.

He became so depressed that he was hospitalized several times, doctors searching in vain for physical explanations for severe, ongoing stomach pain. I asked Tyler if he ever became suicidal during that period and he said no, not to the level of planning anything, but he thought about it. He thought about how it would be easier just not to exist.

Pam was beside herself. She packed the family up and moved to upstate New York to give Tyler a fresh start. It worked. At Tully High in 10th grade, he developed a close-knit group of friends. He came out as gay a little at a time, he found support, and he got better. He credits the Tully community for that in many ways.

When I ask him if his school is supportive of LGBTQ kids, he praises teachers, fellow students, and much of the staff. But each time I ask if he considers his school environment supportive, he hesitates. His voice catches. He pauses.

I ask him what that’s about.

He tells me he’s one of the only out gay kids in school, that he knows many closeted students are afraid to come out. He knows two out trans kids at school and gives them major props for their courage, which his tone of voice tells me is a level of courage beyond ordinary.

He explains he’s lucky to be outgoing and have a great group of friends, but he knows he’s the exception. I tell him I know what he means as I think about how shy I was in high school and how I never would have found the courage to come out, let alone to be a leader or challenge a staff member.

I think about how Tyler has to face the fact that Principal O’Brien lied to him, that for the rest of his time at Tully High will have to wonder what that means.

No district policies prevented O’Brien from printing Tyler’s answer

That’s what Tyler and Pam called to tell me last night, and that’s what I mean by rollercoaster. They learned from a confidential source that Principal O’Brien invented the so-called district policy prohibiting mentions of “sexuality, orientation, religion, or illegal drugs” in the Senior Spotlight. (It turns out religion is sometimes heavily featured anyway.) They say O’Brien phoned District Superintendent Robert J. Hughes to ask if and how he could remove Tyler’s answer about being gay and overcoming bullying. The two of them invented a non-existent policy, then O’Brien lied to Tyler about its existence.

Knowing that, Tyler says he is once again feeling unwelcome in the building. He also says he’s determined to be “the last student this ever happens to.” He says isn’t trying to make life difficult for O’Brien or Hughes, but says they must be held accountable for what they did. (Which civil rights lawyers tell me is likely a violation of New York State Education law and federal Title IX civil rights law.)

Tyler’s biggest concern is that he doesn’t understand the two men’s motivation. Why did they want his voice silenced? Why did they not want him to come out as gay? Why did they not want him to write about overcoming bullying? He supposes that since no actual district policy motivated them, they must have something personal against LGBTQ people.

Tully censors LGBTQ staff as well

He and his mother Pam tell me they want O’Brien and Hughes to issue formal, public apologies as a form of insurance that nothing like this ever happens again, and as encouragement to other LGBTQ students and staff. Insurance is needed. Tyler learned this morning that the district forced the Tully Elementary School social worker to remove mention of his husband from the bio he submitted to them, even though many straight teachers and staff mentioned husbands and wives in their bios.

How are LGBTQ students supposed to have role models?

If gay staff are forbidden to say they have husbands, and if LGBTQ students are forbidden to write about their identities and struggles, then who are closeted, struggling LGBTQ students supposed to look up to? If merely existing as LGBTQ is too shameful or “controversial” to mention, aren’t students learning terrible lessons?

Queer kids learn they’re less than, and cis/straight kids learn it’s OK to treat them that way. Those are the lessons O’Brien and Hughes colluded to teach, and while it’s wonderful they changed their mind in Tyler’s case, it looks like they only did so because his TikTok blew up and they were afraid of bad publicity.

What are they doing when they think nobody’s watching? What do they do when kids less assertive and outgoing than Tyler end up in their offices?

LGBTQ rights are human rights. LGBTQ people are human beings who deserve voices, role models, representation, and honesty. Thank you, Tyler Johnson, for fighting to give a voice to the voiceless.

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James Finn is a former Air Force intelligence analyst, long-time LGBTQ activist, an alumnus of Queer Nation and Act Up NY, a frequent columnist for the LA Blade, a contributor to other LGBTQ news outlets, and an “agented” but unpublished novelist. Send questions, comments, and story ideas to [email protected]

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The preceding article was previously published by Prism & Pen– Amplifying LGBTQ voices through the art of storytelling and is republished by permission.

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