“Gay liberation? I ain’t against it. It’s just that there’s nothing in it for me!” – Bette Davis.
Picture it: Dallas, sometime in the late ’90s. A lithe, energetic, naturally blond Billy was cavorting in Dallas’s Oak Lawn gayborhood. After winning an amateur strip contest at Big Daddy’s (I believe one of the prizes was an hour or so with porn superstar Karl Thomas), I found myself next door at JR.’s. I took a shine to a bartender named Scott and spent the rest of the week with him – a pleasant enough time, except I had to repeatedly explain that there was only so much I could do with his penis, which just happened to be shaped like, well, like the unnatural part of Captain Hook’s anatomy. Frankly, it wasn’t worth getting carpal tunnel over.
This stroll down Memory Lane is a propos of a news story that the manager of JR.’s Bar & Grill was fired after refusing to serve a transgender woman. Unlike my Dallas encounters of yore, this one was captured on video, which led to the termination. The owner stated, “While our employees take every measure to ensure the safety of both staff and patrons, any actions that are deemed contra to our beliefs and values as a company will not be tolerated. After reviewing the situation and gathering statements from the parties involved, the company has chosen to terminate the employee in question effective immediately.” I do hope my dear Scott is no longer in the picture. I’m sure in the past 20 years, he’s moved on. He’s probably a plumber. After all, he already had the snake.
A former member of the Indiana House of Representatives has attacked Mayor Pete Buttigieg for possibly being “too gay.” Don Boys’ post, called “Pete, Since You Brought It Up, How ‘Gay’ Are You?,” says that for Buttigieg to be a legitimate candidate for president, he must first denounce both fisting and rimming. Is that in the job description? ‘Cause I’m curious what Trump has denounced. Watersports spring to mind. Boys went further by stating, “Voters should know that a homosexual president may not live to finish his term.” I’ve got news for him – a few heterosexual presidents didn’t finish THEIR terms! Boys continues, “Moreover, 70 percent of homosexuals admit to having at least one STD plus they are infected with other contagious diseases such as tuberculosis, pneumonia, etc. About 20 percent of homosexual men are infected with HIV and about half of them do not know it. Don’t voters have a right, even an obligation, to know a candidate’s health status since the candidate’s health is always an issue? Is a homosexual candidate an exception? If so, why?” While I certainly cannot speak for the candidates, I’d venture to guess that Mayor Pete will allow an STD screening if Donald does. Although, Trump may get a bit too excited at the thought of Pete peeing!
I went to several Pride-related events in Hollywood, including a book signing for Frank DeCaro’s encyclopedic volume, “Drag: Combing Through the Big Wigs of Show Business.” What an entertaining and informative book – certainly a “must” for anyone reading this column. Why, it is simply staggering the amount of information you learn. In addition to the current drag divas, I was interested in reading about the people who paved the way, because we all know that without drag queens, we’d have no Stonewall. The event I went to at Barnes & Noble at The Grove was standing room only and featured the grand dame of Los Angeles drag, Momma. On the dais we had Bruce Vilanch (who apparently is the go-to when it comes to writing material for men in drag on television), Alaska Thunderfuck, and the reigning Best in Drag, Reba Ariba. The panel discussion was fascinating (I’ll link to it on BillyMasters.com) and special celebs like Jack Plotnick, Melissa Peterman, Tom Lenk, Drew Droege, Carolyn Hennesy, and others made it truly a celebration. Go out and buy Frank’s book NOW!
Let me take a moment to applaud The View for its LGBTQ+ Pride Month FYI. Each day in June, we learn about notable members of our community – just like they do during Black History Month. The more you know…
Lily, Dolly and Jane still plan on reuniting for a “9 to 5” sequel. Last week, Dolly told CNN’s Robin Meade, “We’ve got two scripts and we’re waiting for the last rewrite. So as soon as we all sign off on that, I’d say in the next few months we’ll be in production.” A few months ago, Jane Fonda said the same thing. “Right now, Dolly, Lily and I are all intending to be in it.” Fingers crossed.
Could it be that a network star is itching to come out? So say people in the know who tell me that the campy, coy cutie planned to say he’s family once he left a certain professional obligation behind. Since that has been delayed about a year, he’s biding his time. What hasn’t changed are plans for Halloween 2019 in West Hollywood, which will be a very big night for him and his buddies. After all, he’ll be out — and legal.
When it doesn’t take a genius to solve a blind item, it’s definitely time to end another column. For something a bit more titillating, check out www.BillyMasters.com – the site that could lead to hysteria and horniness. If you have a question, send it along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before I book a flight back to Dallas! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.