Arts & Entertainment
Broadway’s Hunky Gay Ex-Mormon Dad Claybourne Elder Comes to SoCal
Claybourne explores sex, fatherhood, religion, and love in “If The Stars Were Mine.”
Not only is actor Claybourne Elder a SAG Award, Grammy, Drama Desk, and Lucille Lortel nominee, but he also boasts a long list of descriptives that detail a colorful life. Ex-Mormon, queer, and father all play big parts in his journey and come together for “If The Stars Were Mine,” part stand up, part cabaret featuring his favorite music from the Great American Songbook, Sondheim, Whitney Houston, and beyond. Nothing is off limits as he explores sex, fatherhood, religion, and love.
His theatre credits are many and include a lot of Sondheim, including understudying for Jake Gyllenhaal in the Broadway revival of Sunday in the Park with George and originating the role of “Hollis Bessemer” in Stephen Sondheim’s last musical, Road Show. He also appeared alongside Patti LuPone for the revival of Company. On-screen, he is enjoying the role of John Adams on HBO’s smash-hit period piece “The Gilded Age,” a show that has become a Who’s Who for Broadway’s theatre actors. He also appeared on “The Kelly Clarkson Show,” “This American Life” and “CBS This Morning.” As much as he is lauded for his acting and singing, more than a few headlines note his muscled frame and handsome face.
Claybourne’s journey to Broadway is a thing out of the movies. In 2007, he was a visiting actor in New York City, standing at a production of The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee. A stranger noted his natural enthusiasm for theatre and gave him $200 to go see the revival of Stephen Sondheim’s Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street. The act of kindness solidified his quest to become an actor on Broadway. Little did he know that he would soon be starring alongside Sweeney Todd’s leads, Patti LuPone (in Company) and Michael Cerveris (in Gilded Age). Elders was inspired to start the nonprofit City of Strangers to encourage artists, supporters, and leaders to build community through acts of kindness by making tickets to performances accessible to all theater lovers regardless of their ability to pay.
We caught up with Claybourne as he prepared to head West for a three-night run of his intimate cabaret evening.
You have a close relationship with Sondheim material, Company, Sunday in the Park with George, Into the Woods, Do I Hear A Waltz?, Sondheim on Sondheim, Passion, and Road Show. How is performing Sondheim’s material unique? What have you learned most as an artist from exploring his work?
You know, I never really set out to do so much Sondheim in my professional career but it is by far my favorite material to perform. His songs are challenging to sing as a musician and challenging to perform as an actor, which makes them so satisfying to sing. He has said in interviews that when he’s writing, he’s acting. He’s taking on the character and saying what he would say – and it really shows. Every song is trying to effect change, like a great monologue. Songs in the musical theatre aren’t always like that. Especially back when he started writing music and lyrics. In some musical theatre songs, the character is just saying something they already know, sometimes over and over and over again. Steve’s songs are complex. The character is working something out.
Ok, we have to talk…spill the tea. What did you learn most from veteran Patti LuPone from working on Company?
I love you for asking this. Patti is just the best. There was nothing more satisfying in rehearsal to me than when I would try something new and it would make Patti laugh. She and I share a birthday and we got to be friends working on the show and I just adore her. I watched her do “Ladies Who Lunch” every night because we were all on stage and she NEVER did it the same twice. She was always exploring and I loved to see where she was going to take it every night. I had a long scene in the second act just before her big scene and we had a little moment backstage every night between the two. One night when the audience had laughed particularly loud at my scene, Patti walked up to me wearing her costume of fur and sunglasses and said in a dry monotone, “One should never follow Claybourne Elder on stage” and turned and walked away. I’ll never forget it.
You have played some iconic characters that we all know and love – Curly, George, Tony, Cinderella’s Prince – what is your creative process as an actor in making a character your own while paying homage to what audiences expect to see?
It can be hard to get a performance that you love out of your head. The first time I played George in Sunday in the Park with George, I had to get Mandy Patinkin out of my head from wearing out the VHS when I was a kid. But once I started working on the script and asking myself questions, it just became different. I think the trick can be to not try too hard to be different. There are things in the script that are just true and you can’t play against them too hard or the story won’t make sense. But that’s what is wonderful about acting, there is never going to be another you. And for better or worse, no one is going to do it just like you.
You have a list of award nomination accolades – SAG Award, Grammy, Drama Desk, and Lucille Lortel – that’s a pretty impressive haul. How does it feel as an artist to be so acknowledged for your work?
Like being rich in Monopoly money? Haha, no no I’m kidding. I feel very honored to have been acknowledged but like most actors, I just like working and want to keep working. And those things can sometimes help you get more work. But most of all I think about something an artist that I really respect told me once: “Just make work that you want to show your friends.” And I really stick by that. I want to make things that I would be excited and proud to show my friends.
The Gilded Age has become THE show to be on for a theatre actor on TV, much like Law and Order. What are your favorite aspects of working on the show?
Oh everything, working on Gilded Age is so so fun. It’s like a family reunion every time we are on set. And because it’s so full of theatre actors, we all understand the way each other works. I think it’s been easier for us all to do our best work because we come to set to rehearse and play like theatre actors. And the costumes. It’s the ultimate dress-up. And the sets. Sometimes when we’re shooting in one of the mansions in Newport or other grand places I like to just wander around as if I actually am John Adams. We started working on the show in 2019 and so we’ve all been working on it off and on for a very long time. That’s also a lovely aspect, to have years and years together working on a project. That doesn’t happen a lot in the theatre.
So many of your headlines mention you being buff, hunky, and more! There is a lot of focus on looks and body in entertainment, even more so in the queer community. How have you worked through body image pressures?
You know, I was not a sporty kid or a fit young person. I didn’t start going to the gym until my late 20s. Well before that I would go to the gym sometimes, but I didn’t mean it. Haha! In this business, it can be very difficult not to convince yourself that you look wrong. For whatever reason. Maybe there’s safety in thinking you didn’t get a job because you just didn’t look right. That it wasn’t to do with your talent, just how you look. And then you can fall into the trap of trying to make yourself into what you think the perfect-looking person should look like. I fell into that trap at one point. I had played a boxer in a play and so I really wanted to look like a boxer. I needed to look physically imposing because the character was that. So I worked out really hard and at the end of it, a dear mentor of mine said: “Ok, now you need to stop. You’re going to stop looking like a real person.” And he was right. I think it’s very important to take care of your body, you only get one of them. But I also think that I like donuts. And I like having treats with my son. I think people use those words to describe me in headlines or to sell tickets to something (hint, hint buy a ticket to my show) but I don’t really want to be remembered for that. There are so many other things I would rather be remembered for.
As a queer dad, what are your biggest worries in raising a child in today’s social and political climate?
Oh god, what aren’t my worries right now about the social and political climate? It’s a tough time. But I don’t want my son to be afraid. I want him to stand up for who he is and what he believes in, and what a great f-ing time to learn how to do that.
How do you balance the entertainment and family life, while maintaining your mental health?
It’s challenging to be a parent and a working actor. When you’re in a show, you are away many nights a week so you have to find ways to maximize the time you have together. And a lot of Facetime. I would always Facetime my son goodnight from my dressing room. When I go away to film things, I try to bring my family with me when I can. I used to worry about my son not having the kind of childhood I did, but I have come to realize that just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s not a great childhood. He’s growing up backstage at Broadway theatres and on TV sets and I would have lost my mind with excitement when I was a kid haha.
You bare all in “If The Stars Were Mine,” it is a heartfelt, intimate, and funny look at your life. What do you want audiences to walk away with from seeing your show?
When I set out to write this show, I started with what I wanted to say. I asked myself “What are the things that I would be embarrassed or scared to say in front of people?” And I started there. The show is thematic, I sort of explore the nature of goodness, but like a stand-up show, I also tell a lot of other stories. When people walk away from the show, I hope they have laughed, heard some great music, and maybe – just maybe – feel like doing a good deed. Someone who wrote up a review of the show a few months back said “I left briefly wanting to be a better person.” Haha, and I thought that was fantastic.
What is your coming out story?
I was lucky. Very lucky, to have supportive parents. My parents are very Mormon, but they also just love me. I have a gay older brother who had sort of come out before me which I’m sure made it easier. It was tough for my parents at first, but ultimately they just want me to be a good person. That’s what is most important to them.
In your show, you talk about being an ex-Mormon. What was your experience dealing with your religion in terms of your sexuality? How has it affected your relationship with spirituality today, also in terms of how you raise your son?
This is a lot of what I talk about in my show! I think that there was a time when I felt like I had to leave all spirituality behind to be a gay person. Because that’s what I was being taught by my church, that it was one or the other. And it wasn’t until my son started getting older and asking me questions that I started to reevaluate my spirituality. And redefine it.
What is your favorite moment on stage for “If The Stars Were Mine?”
Oh, doing this show is my favorite thing. Maybe my favorite thing I’ve ever done on stage. There are so many fun moments for me. I think my favorite moments change based on the audience – sometimes they are more surprised by things or find different things funny and surprise me.
Your initiative City of Strangers, is inspired by your real-life story based on you getting a ticket to see your future co-star LuPone. How are we supposed to provide culture and art to younger generations when prices keep getting higher and higher?
When I first moved to the city, I didn’t have any money to see Broadway shows. And that’s what I was trying to do, but I couldn’t even see the performers at the top of their game that I was trying to be like! That’s what I was thinking of when I first started City of Strangers though we definitely don’t just support young artists. We welcome anyone, of any age. But speaking of the younger generations in particular, we aren’t helping to make theatre fans. If young people can’t afford to fall in love with the theatre, then they won’t.
What kind of legacy do you want to create most for your son and your work?
I would love for my son to see that I do what I love. And that it’s hard. But that I do it because I love it and believe in it. He has no interest in being a performer haha, like none. At least not right now. My husband and I joke that we are relieved that he doesn’t want to be an artist, but obviously, we would support anything he wants to do. I just hope he has a life that he loves, finds a job that he loves, maybe a person he loves – if he wants to. Honesty, I just want for him what my parents want for me. I just want him to be a good person and be happy.
What is your message to your fans?
I love it when people say hello to me! I get messages sometimes from people who say “I saw you on the subway and wanted to say hi but I didn’t want to bother you.” Bother me! I don’t mind. I’m chatty and love talking to people, ha ha!
“If The Stars Were Mine” opens on Thursday Feb. 20th and runs through to the 22nd at the Samueli Theater at Segerstrom Center for the Arts in Costa Mesa.
Sports
Jason Collins dies at 47
First openly gay man to actively play for major sports team battled brain cancer
Jason Collins, the first openly gay man to actively play for a major professional sports team, died on Tuesday after a battle with brain cancer. He was 47.
The California native had briefly played for the Washington Wizards in 2013 before coming out in a Sports Illustrated op-ed.
Collins in 2014 became the first openly gay man to play in a game for a major American professional sports league when he played 11 minutes during a Brooklyn Nets game. He wore jersey number 98 in honor of Matthew Shepard, a gay college student murdered outside of Laramie, Wyo., in 1998.
Collins told the Washington Blade in 2014 that his life was “exponentially better” since he came out. Collins the same year retired from the National Basketball Association after 13 seasons.
Collins married his husband, Brunson Green, in May 2025.
The NBA last September announced Collins had begun treatment for a brain tumor. Collins on Dec. 11, 2025, announced he had Stage 4 glioblastoma.
“We are heartbroken to share that Jason Collins, our beloved husband, son, brother and uncle, has died after a valiant fight with glioblastoma,” said Collins’s family in a statement the NBA released. “Jason changed lives in unexpected ways and was an inspiration to all who knew him and to those who admired him from afar. We are grateful for the outpouring of love and prayers over the past eight months and for the exceptional medical care Jason received from his doctors and nurses. Our family will miss him dearly.”
NBA Commissioner Adam Silver said Collins’s “impact and influence extended far beyond basketball as he helped make the NBA, WNBA, and larger sports community more inclusive and welcoming for future generations.”
“He exemplified outstanding leadership and professionalism throughout his 13-year NBA career and in his dedicated work as an NBA Cares Ambassador,” said Silver. “Jason will be remembered not only for breaking barriers, but also for the kindness and humanity that defined his life and touched so many others.”
“To call Jason Collins a groundbreaking figure for our community is simply inadequate. We truly lost a giant today,” added Human Rights Campaign President Kelley Robinson in a statement. “He came out as gay — while still playing — at a time when men’s athletes simply did not do that. But as he powerfully demonstrated in his final years in the league and his post-NBA career, stepping forward as he did boldly changed the conversation.”
“He was and will always be a legend for the LGBTQ+ community, and we are heartbroken to hear of his passing at the young age of 47,” she said. “Our hearts go out to his family and loved ones. We will keep fighting on in his honor until the day everyone can be who they are on their terms.”
The Los Angeles Blade will update this story with additional reaction when it becomes available.
Bars & Parties
LA Blade joins AJSOCAL and Okaeri for AAPI Heritage Month / Pride kickoff happy hour, with ‘Peacemaker’ actor Nhut Le as guest of honor
This free happy hour event unites the AAPI and queer community at The Abbey on Tuesday, May 19th, at 6:30
The Los Angeles Blade is honored to join forces with Asian Americans Advancing Justice (AJSOCAL) and Okaeri (a program of Little Tokyo Service Center) to celebrate both AAPI Heritage Month and to kick off Pride, hosted at The Abbey on Tuesday, May 19th at 6:30 pm. The evening will feature actor Nhut Le from HBO Max’s hit show, Peacemaker.
This event, free to the public, is part of Los Angeles Blade’s commitment to spotlight and support the efforts of the the non-profits who provide resources to other minority groups within the queer community. This past year, the Blade has had the privilege to build relationships with both AJSOCAL and Okaeri, highlighting the stories of the organizations’ history, staff leaders, and clients.
AJSOCAL is the leading civil rights advocate for the Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) community. Their services are open to individuals of all races and ethnicities, without restriction. The organization combats discrimination, provides free legal services and workshops across Southern California for low-income community members and anyone in need, and drives policy change from the local to national level. AAPI Queer Joy is AJSOCAL’s initiative to become more inclusive and representative of the AAPI community by recognizing the intersectionality of the AAPI and LGBTQ+ communities. In partnership with a coalition of Queer Trans Asian Pacific Islander (QTAPI)-serving organizations across California, they identify and highlight the specific needs of the QTAPI community. Based on the coalition’s guidance, AJSOCAL advocates for inclusive policies that empower the QTAPI community and allow all to thrive.
Jeffrey Deguia, AJSOCAL’s LA Regional Policy Advocate, commented to the Blade about the joint event, “I’m excited to be celebrating our beautifully diverse AAPI LGBTQ+ (or queer, trans API or QTAPI) community with the LA Blade and one of my favorite community partners, Okaeri at this year’s AAPI Heritage Month & Pride Month happy hour! Being proudly QTAPI means I’m celebrating every part myself, which means I’m celebrating my Filipino heritage and my resilient queer and trans community. Tonight is a reminder that we don’t have to choose one, and that being fully authentic in both of these identities is what Pride is all about.”
Okaeri is a community-driven project of Little Tokyo Service Center. Its mission is to create visibility, compassionate spaces, and transformation for LGBTQ+ Japanese Americans (Nikkei) and their families by sharing their stories and providing culturally-rooted support, education, community-building, and advocacy. They envision a safe, loving, and accepting world for LGBTQ+ Nikkei and their families where all identities are celebrated, respected, and embraced. The organization started out in 2013, when Marsha Aizumi, the Japanese American mother of a transgender son, wondered why there were no resources for LGBTQ+ Nikkei. She organized the “Okaeri: A Nikkei LGBTQ Gathering” conference, gathering together over 200 attendees in its debut. Now, Okaeri provides programs and community services to meet the needs of the Nikkei LGBTQ+ community.
Matthew Yonemura, Okaeri’s Assistant Program Director, shared, “Okaeri is so grateful for the collaboration we have with our fellow Queer Trans Asian Pacific Islander (QTAPI) community members. Okaeri has experienced so much change over the last couple of years, and it became increasingly difficult in 2024 and 2025 to hold in-person events. Being able to collaborate with AJSOCAL for happy hours like this is so important in Okaeri’s effort to be in the community. Okaeri means “welcome home” in Japanese, and gatherings like this are a way to welcome new members into the Okaeri community home.”
The evening will be a fun, casual happy hour open to all. The Blade will be on hand with our latest print issue, dedicated to AAPI Heritage Month. As an added bonus, actor Nhut Le, who has become a runaway hit personality from HBO Max’s Peacemaker for the past two seasons, will join the festivities. Le has had the opportunity to infuse his character, Judomaster, with elements from his own queer and Vietnamese identity.
Le wrote to the Blade, “It’s an interesting intersectionality, straddling both marginalized groups. I’ve encountered forms of discrimination in both, I’m too gay to be a good representation for the AAPI community or I’m too Asian and they don’t want tokenism or fetishism. It’s crucial that representation spans the whole gamut because even if one person somewhere feels seen and a little less alone and that their life is worth living, then it’s important.”
Come join the Blade, AJSOCAL, Okaeri, and Le at The Abbey on Tuesday, May 19th, from 6:30 to 8:30 pm. For more information, email the LA Blade publisher at [email protected].
a&e features
On ‘The Pitt,’ Amielynn Abellera brings the Filipino healthcare representation she wishes she had growing up
Abellera reflects on Nurse Perlah’s journey on HBO Max’s hit show
Amielynn Abellera grew up with a nurse practitioner mother and a doctor father, so perhaps she was always destined to appear in a show like The Pitt. Looking at popular media as a Filipino child, though, she never saw “authentic representation” when watching shows about healthcare workers.
“If I did have representation, I would have been more curious and more celebratory, and want to investigate more and ask [my parents] questions,” she tells The Blade. “It’s never too late, and now that there is representation, it’s really making waves across the Filipino and Filipino-American community to initiate conversations.”
Acting on HBO Max’s The Pitt, as she has since the very first episode, carries a deeper meaning for Abellera, who plays the steady and empathetic Nurse Perlah. The second season once again follows a full 15-hour shift in the ER, this time taking place on the Fourth of July.
Abellera reflects on Perlah’s journey: “As a nurse, she is really good at her job, she’s really calm and composed and confident. She knows how to protect herself in such a challenging career. That has been part of how she’s able to get through it. In this season, on this particular day, she hits some challenges, and we start to see a little bit of that armor crack — just a tiny bit.”
It’s been a breakthrough role for Abellera, who previously appeared in episodes of The Cleaning Lady, Bosch: Legacy, and NCIS. The unique filming style of The Pitt, where every episode is synchronized with one hour in the hospital, has given Abellera a new experience altogether: “It feels very sporadic, very panicked, and very immediate.”
“It does feel like I’m waking up at five in the morning, starting a shift, and doing a 12-hour day. Sometimes, the reality mixed with the not-reality and the pretend can sort of meld together,” she says, while adding with a laugh, “I’m not a nurse, I’m nowhere near anything being a healthcare worker, of course, but sometimes you end up thinking, ‘I can actually put an IV in!’”
As she looks back on the season at large, one episode that stands out to her is Episode 3 (titled 9:00 A.M.), which incorporated the 2018 Tree of Life synagogue shooting that took place in Pittsburgh, where the show is also located. In a poignant moment, a Jewish patient named Yana (played by Irina Dubova) connects with Perlah, who wears a hijab.
“Quite honestly, I didn’t know so much about the shooting until we started working,” she says. “I really loved how simple the scene was, in terms of it being two people just connecting and caring for each other in that moment, and also acknowledging this bigger thing. It took both Yana and Perlah by surprise — the feelings that came up for them. I remember even filming it; it took both of us by surprise.”
When I ask about bringing both Filipino and queer representation to the show, Abellera says “I know I sound like a broken record. But I’m so proud, and it’s such an honor to be able to represent the Filipino community as healthcare workers. It’s such a big part of Filipino history and my personal history.”
On the show, she’s also found solidarity with Isa Briones and Kristin Villanueva. “Something I like about the three of us is we’re three different dimensions of Filipino,” she says.
Beyond the community she’s cultivated with her cast on-set, The Pitt has been celebrated across the entire industry, most recently winning the ensemble in a drama series prize at the Actor Awards and, of course, the Emmy award for best drama series. The Actor Award recognition was especially notable since it brought the main cast together on stage. With Season 3 already in the works, one can only imagine how many more awards the show will nab.
“I don’t think anybody knew that we were so hungry for this type of going back to how television used to be,” Abellera says, noting the 15-episode order for Season 2. “It’s taken all demographics by surprise.”
Arts & Entertainment
DUMB and loving it: JORDY’s next chapter begins with ‘In Retrospect’
JORDY ditches overthinking and dives headfirst into chaos with “DUMB,” setting the stage for his boldest, most self-assured era yet on ‘In Retrospect’
JORDY has never been one to shy away from a feeling authentic/messy/euphoric, but lately, he’s been leaning into something a touch more mischievous… the art of letting go. With “DUMB,” the GLAAD and Queerties-nominated pop auteur trades overthinking for overstimulation, bottling up that kind of night where the group chat becomes a glitter-glazed dance floor and emotional clarity is gloriously replaced with invited chaos. It’s a track that winks as much as it confesses, proving that even in his most carefree moments, JORDY’s tongue is still razor-sharp.
As he steps into a new era with his forthcoming album In Retrospect, JORDY sounds both freer and more self-assured than ever. With this new album, JORDY finds himself less concerned with chasing validation and more interested in capturing the full spectrum of being alive, from introspection to intoxication (emotional or otherwise). “DUMB” might sparkle on the surface, but underneath, it carries a self-aware pulse. Sometimes the smartest thing you can do is stop trying so damn hard.
“DUMB” playfully entertains the idea of escapism. What was your inspiration to play with this particular theme?
I honestly was getting emotionally exhausted from writing songs on my new record that were particularly vulnerable…I needed to write a song that simply felt FUN. Like a night out. A break from reality. I got together with my best friends and did just that.
The title comes across as tongue-in-cheek, but the song itself is emotionally complex. How did you strike that balance between humor and vulnerability?
During the creation of this song, it reminded me that we all need to just forget everything sometimes. While “DUMB” is an upbeat song, I hope it reminds listeners to take a breather and live in the present.
What was the creative process like in the studio for you when creating this track?
We honestly had the best time that day. Again, I wrote this song with my best friends. There are no limits and no rules with us. We were laughing, dancing, and eating yummy snacks. Maybe some glasses of wine. It felt like a sleepover, and I think you can feel that in the track.
How do you think your fans will relate to the theme of not taking things too seriously?
I think it’s what people NEED right now. There’s a lot of heaviness around us constantly, especially within the queer community. It’s my job to speak on those things, but also to create music that allows us to escape. We deserve those moments of happiness and euphoria. And I want to provide that.
Looking back at your breakout with “Just Friends,” how do you feel your sound and storytelling have evolved leading into this new era?
Oh my goodness – I was in such a different place back then. When I wrote that song, I was desperate for a boyfriend; someone to validate my worth. Now, being in my 30s, my priorities have shifted immensely. I am so much more in love with my own company than I was before. And I’m proud of myself for that. I really think you can hear that too in this new era.
Your projects, like BOY and SEX WITH MYSELF, each had solid identities. Where does “DUMB” sit in the larger arc of your artistic journey?
It’s a part of my next album, In Retrospect. This album means so much to me. It’s my turning 30 album. I think BOY represented me coming into my adulthood, SEX WITH MYSELF felt like a sexual liberation, and now this new record feels like the more mature and experienced version of myself. It’s exactly where I’m at right now.
You’ve amassed a huge global audience. Does that ever influence the way you approach writing, or do you try to stay focused inward?
I want to give my fans what they want, but I think the more I feel connected to something the more they will. I try to focus on what feels good to me, knowing that it will most likely feel good to the fans. I want all of my songs to be an honest and authentic version of what I am going through.
Your live performances are high-energy yet personal. How do you envision DUMB translating on stage?
It’s going to be epic. Absolutely EPIC. I can’t wait to premiere it at Mighty Hoopla Festival in London, May 31st!
You’ve also performed at Pride events and on national television. How have these experiences impacted your art?
It’s my favorite part of what I do. It’s the time we get to come together as a community and shower each other with love. It’s one thing to see people’s comments online, but when we all get to dance together, it’s a completely different experience. It makes it all feel real.
How has it felt receiving recognition from Billboard and Rolling Stone (pretty major, let’s be real)?
I feel incredibly honored to have ever been recognized by publications like Billboard and Rolling Stone. As a gay man, it’s so important for the media to lift up queer artists like myself. There are so many incredible queer musicians who deserve the visibility, so it’s very, very impactful when the big companies promote queer art.
What does “pushing pop boundaries” mean to you at this moment in your career?
I think as a queer person, being completely authentic and honest in my music means I’m pushing boundaries. These are the perspectives that a lot of the music industry actively tries to shut down and reject. Instead of conforming, I want to be loud with my truth.
Without giving too much away, how did you go about exploring and translating themes and songs to form your upcoming album In Retrospect?
It started by getting out of a very toxic relationship. I was angry and upset for a long time, and the songs reflected that, but the further away I got from that relationship, the more I was able to reflect. I felt motivated to better myself. I feel like letting go of that relationship allowed me to let go of other things, too. Instead of guilting myself for staying in something toxic for too long, I choose to pat myself on the back for the courage it took for me to leave.
With the assumption that the title In Retrospect suggests reflection, what were you looking back on while creating this project?
I am not in my 20s anymore, and my priorities have changed. This album is truly a reflection of that and where I’m at mentally at this moment. I look back on that time with zero regrets.
As you enter this next phase of your career, what do you hope your audience takes away from your music, performances, and art as a whole?
I just always want my listeners to feel heard and understood, and safe and loved. It’s easy to bury your feelings, so I like to create spaces for us to feel those feelings together. So we can support each other through it. And of course, I want them to dance the night away and have the best time.
Music & Concerts
DJ Chanel Santini is bringing the heat and some gender-fluid diversity to XBiz Miami
Santini will take center stage at XBiz’s pool party, celebrating the most charismatic personalities and creative artists in adult entertainment.
Chanel Santini has crossed over to being a DJ, performing at clubs all over the country. Now known as Santini, they will be making music and hyping the pool party, DJ-ing at XBIZ, the conference for adult creators and digital players, in Miami.
Taking place on Monday May 11 to Wednesday May 13, the event honors the most charismatic personalities and creative artists in entertainment.
“I am honestly so excited–getting to DJ in Miami Beach is literally a DJ’s dream!” Santini told the Los Angeles Blade.
“I thought it would be a good opportunity because I haven’t been around my industry peers in a long time. It’s a great event to network and show off the new me!” said Santini.
While Santini is unsure what music they will be playing, they want everyone to have a good time. “My goal is to ignite the dance floor and play great music that everyone will vibe to. My sound includes house music, bass house, tech house, and I always like to throw a little bit of hip-hop in my sets.”
Santini loves how DJ-ing brings people together.
“Music really ignites us all! It is so universal, no matter what language you speak. I think it’s the best high in the world when you play a banger track, and everybody on the dance floor screams loudly. You can’t describe that feeling until you’re up there on that stage.”
Santini describes DJs as the “modern rock stars” in today’s world.
“I always feel like such a superstar when I’m up on that stage. The best feeling is after my set when I have people come up to me and say, ‘Thank you for sharing that amazing music.’ That’s how you know that you’re a good DJ- I love when I get those types of compliments!”

While sometimes it’s hard to please everyone’s musical tastes, Santini endeavors to try! “You just have to go out there and give it your all and be the best DJ that you can be,” he noted.
Santini, who had previously identified as trans, recently decided to transition back to being gender fluid.
“It’s definitely been a journey, but I’m definitely happier in my own skin now than I was. I don’t go by he/him pronouns. I don’t go by they/them either. I guess I just really don’t have a preference. Whatever you see me as is your opinion. I’ve learned over the years that I’m not trying to be one specific thing. I’m just Santini. I’m just me.”
Santini acknowledged they felt respected more when dressed as a woman.
“I think it’s just because femininity runs the world. When I started to de-transition, I felt like I had to just be a boy all the time. But I’ve realized over the years that I don’t need to stick to one specific thing. I am always gonna be feminine, and that’s OK.”
Recently, Santini has been embracing their feminine side more.
“I definitely feel more comfortable in female presentation, and more powerful when I’m on stage dressed as Chanel. I love DJ-ing in drag because there are so many straight male DJs in the world. It’s almost like a superhero when he puts on his cape! I think it makes me confident and stand out more as an artist.”
And because Santini loves makeup and fashion, they can incorporate that into their sets. “I’m not just bringing you good vibes and good music. I’m bringing you a show/ production!”

Santini is already working on big plans for the future.
“I’m opening up for a huge Pride block party in my hometown, Albuquerque, New Mexico, on June 12 and 13. It’s a two day festival and I’m super excited for this opportunity. I’m even hiring backup dancers & a choreographer.”
Santini plans to go “all out” for this show.
“It’s gonna be the biggest crowd that I’ve ever played for,” Santini enthused. “I’m putting my heart and soul into this performance, especially because it’s Pride in my hometown, and that means so much to me. I know the younger me would be so proud.”
Santini remembers going to Pride when they were younger and telling themself they couldn’t wait to be up on that stage.
“I’m truly living my dream right now, and I’m so excited for the future. The last 10 years of being in the adult entertainment business have been great and have given me major success. But I always knew that I didn’t want to be in this industry for long.”
Santini acknowledged that, in the recent past, it was a struggle.
“I’ve been trying to find myself and figure out what I wanna do next with my life. Now that I’ve found this passion for DJ-ing, it makes me want to go far in this business.”
In addition to being a DJ/artist, Santini is starting college next semester.
“I’m gonna get my degree in audio engineering,” Santini enthused. “I can’t wait to start producing my own tracks. I especially can’t wait till the day I’m headlining a major festival! I know with a little bit of patience and hard work that I can get there! I just have to continue believing in myself.”
Santini wanted to thank all of their fans for their support. “Truly, if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be able to fund my art in the way that I have. I’m truly grateful. And I’m excited for the future!”
a&e features
From Glenn Close to Carol Burnett: How this year’s TCM Classic Film Festival highlighted female icons
The festival was a true celebration of both past and present, and how female icons have shaped so many different generations
As the ever-fashionable Glenn Close walked out in front of the TCL Chinese Theatre sporting a pair of circular shades, sitting down in a chair to block out the sun from her view, she looked a lot like Norma Desmond, the character she brought new dimensions to while starring in Sunset Boulevard on Broadway.
Unlike the famous character she played that lost touch with reality decades after finding success as an actor, Close is one of the rare actors to continue finding success decades after achieving stardom. The eight-time Oscar nominee, who landed her first nomination back in 1983 for The World According to Garp, was surrounded by her family, including her granddaughter, and a very well-behaved white dog that accompanied her on stage. Many of her close collaborators were also in attendance, including Melissa McCarthy and Hunger Games: Sunrise on the Reaping director Frances Lawrence.
The crowd, which included select press and TCM passholders, hung on Close’s words as she reflected on the kind of career most aspiring actors dream of. This was the kind of event the TCM Classic Film Festival does best — not just the yearly Hand & Footprint Ceremony where stars get their hands and feet imprinted by the TCL Chinese Theatre, but the daily programming that connects passionate film fans with the female icons they grew up watching and idolizing. It was a true celebration of both past and present. Where else can classic movie fans not only see an icon like Close receive their dues, but share that moment with the actor’s loved ones?
Close’s ceremony was just the beginning of the action. The festival also gave attendees the chance to hear Carol Burnett and Barbara Hershey speak in dedicated one-hour Q&As; Faye Dunaway, Laura Dern, Sharon Stone, Julia Sweeney, Lorna Luft and Lesley Ann Warren all presented different screenings throughout the four-day festival in Los Angeles (read The Blade’s coverage of Warren’s talk before Victor/Victoria here), while Close herself presented a screening of 1988’s Dangerous Liaisons.
The line just to get into Burnett’s conversation was the longest I saw at this year’s festival, quite literally spiraling around the lobby of the historic Roosevelt Hotel to the point where people couldn’t locate where it even ended. The crowd immediately took to their knees once Burnett walked into the room. In a conversation with TCM host Ben Mankiewicz, the seven-time Emmy winner looked back on the origins of her TV career and the women who mentored her.
Burnett would go on to make history as the first woman to host a variety show with The Carol Burnett Show, which ran on CBS from 1967 to 1978. One of the most surprising bits of her conversation was her freeing experience working with studio executives.
“When we got our show, [William S. Paley] said to us, ‘You’re the artist, I’m the businessman. You do what I do, I’ll do what I do. Go do your thing. If it’s not working, I’ll be in touch,’” Burnett recalled. “We never had a sponsor bothering us, or the network bothering us,” adding that the writers’ room was free of outside influence. In today’s media landscape, such a story is unheard of.
Beyond these incredible stories shared by beloved actors, the festival was also an opportunity for different generations to connect through their shared love of film. As a young queer person myself, I’ve noticed how TCM can sometimes be unfairly labeled as a network solely for older people. While the festival’s attendees certainly skew older, the wide variety of female stars drew in multiple different generations; from the women who grew up on Burnett’s variety show in the ‘60s and the ‘70s, to today’s young audiences — mainly gay men! — who fell in love with Laura Dern through more recent hits like Big Little Lies and Marriage Story.
That’s part of what makes the festival so wonderful: the opportunity to connect with all different kinds of people while waiting in line for screenings and panels, and reflecting on how everyone came across a piece of media at a different point in their life. As a queer person, many of these actors resonate with me in a completely different way than they might for older women who grew up seeing a female comedian like Burnett pave the way for more representation.
The opportunity to see living legends in person hits even harder after the recent passing of Catherine O’Hara, Diane Keaton, and Rob Reiner. This theme of crossing generations and passing the baton down couldn’t have been made clearer than the way Mankiewicz chose to close his conversation with Burnett, who reminisced on how I Love Lucy star Lucille Ball became a crucial mentor and friend before her death in 1989.
“I’m listening to you with Amy Poehler and the way she talked about you … the way Tina Fey feels about you,” Mankiewicz said. “To that generation of these brilliantly funny women — and plenty of men, too — you’re Lucille.”
It was impossible to leave that room without thinking about Burnett’s signature line: “I’m so glad we had this time together.”
Television
Repression, toxic masculinity fuel intense queer drama ‘Half Man’
A solidly crafted, well-acted, fascinating binge watch
In 2024, when Richard Gadd’s “Baby Reindeer” became a stock-boosting hit for Netflix, there were few Americans who knew his name.
In the UK, however, the Scottish writer/comedian/actor had already emerged as a talent to be reckoned with, blending autobiographical stand-up comedy with theater to create a reputation as an edgy and provocative creator whose shows tended to be equal parts divisive and successful. One of these, his fictionalized true-life story of being stalked and sexually harassed by a female fan, became an Olivier Award-winning hit in the London theater; that was “Baby Reindeer,” and – in the form of a seven-episode miniseries adaptation – it became the vehicle that carried him to wider fame.
Two years later, Gadd has returned with another high-profile miniseries, this time for HBO Max, and like its predecessor, it’s a story that deals with queer sexual repression, unhealthy attachments, and a central relationship that can safely be described without exaggeration as “toxic” – and it’s an even darker (and more twisted) ride that stretches across decades.
“Half Man,” which debuted on April 23 and continues with one episode per week through May 14, is the story of two “brothers” – Niall (Jamie Bell) and Ruben (Gadd) – whose mothers (Neve McIntosh and Marianne McIvor) have become a lesbian couple after leaving their relationships with the boys’ respective fathers. They are seeming opposites in personality; Niall is quiet, sensitive, and secretly unsure about his sexuality, while Ruben is tough, rebellious, and prone to violence – and unsurprisingly, it’s a match made in hell.
We meet them at the top of the first episode as adults, on the day of Niall’s wedding, when Ruben shows up without warning; his appearance triggers what looks like fear in his “brother from another lover,” and a private meeting between them in a barn at the wedding site turns ugly, launching a flashback format that takes us back to their schooldays, when young Ruben (Stuart Campbell) – already in trouble with the law and trying for a new start – comes home from juvenile detention to become roommate, protector, and bully to young Niall (Mitchell Robertson), all in one.
It’s the dawn of a new and epic relationship, despite a history that has made Niall terrified of the older boy; their seemingly opposite qualities somehow mesh into a kind of symbiotic bubble, in which a tense equilibrium turns them into unlikely allies. Ruben makes sure Niall has nothing to fear from the sniggering schoolyard homophobes who target him, and Niall helps Ruben pass the tests he needs to pass in order to stay in school, Nevertheless, their dynamic is equal parts surprisingly tender and alarmingly lopsided. Though they form a bond, it’s a volatile one, and by the end of episode one – after an uncomfortable-to-watch late night incident that amounts to a sexual assault – there is little doubt that Ruben is a psychopath. By then, however, it’s too late; Niall has become hopelessly ensnared by his manipulations, and their dangerous attachment has taken permanent root.
In episode two, the timeline moves the past forward several years (while rolling the wedding-day story back a few hours as well), bringing Niall forward to his college years. Ruben is once again absent from his life, but the bond is still deep. He struggles to make connections in his new setting – including with another student, the openly gay Alby (Bilal Hasna), who recognizes a side of him that he has still yet to accept for himself. Though he gradually begins to adapt to his new social circle, his insecurities get the better of him – and despite warnings from his mother not to do so, he calls Ruben to come and visit. His arrival triggers another escalating series of incidents, this time entangling Niall’s new friends and culminating in a shocking, jealous-fueled explosion of violence.
Without going on with the story – after all, the two remaining episodes have yet to be released, so we wouldn’t want to spoil anything – it’s safe to say there’s a pattern here, and it’s intentional.
Gadd has already been public about his own struggles with repression, which were directly explored (albeit fictionally) in “Baby Reindeer,” and it’s clear that he had more to say about the effects they had on his life and identity.
As he put it himself, in an interview with the Hollywood Reporter, “Themes of, I guess, masculinity, or what it means to be a man, or ‘I’ve gone through a masculinity crisis’ come into [the show] probably because I’ve been through that in my life, and I feel I can write to it and speak to it.
“I always think that the best kind of art is kept close to your chest, kept close to your heart, kept close to your experiences, and I guess with ‘Half Man,’ there’s a lot in it that I relate to. It’s not an autobiographical piece by any stretch, it’s purely fiction, but it certainly borrows from themes and struggles and issues that I understand.”
That understanding translates to the series through its focus on tracing the roots of Niall and Ruben’s relationship by methodically tracking the cause-and-effect chain that links the major events of their lives together. It explores the contradictory combination of worship and terror, the transgressive eroticism that intertwines danger and desire, the power of the forbidden to make us want it more, and the self-loathing that punishes itself through violence toward others. The inverted framework of the storytelling, which works both forward and back to meet at (we assume) some definitive point, makes following it a bit like putting together a puzzle, which also has the effect of building suspense as we wait to see the “moment of truth.”
Of course, those who prefer a more straightforward narrative might not appreciate the additional challenge, especially when the subject matter – which revolves around experiences, feelings, and behavior that might be entirely unfamiliar to many audiences – is challenging enough by itself, in its own way. Likewise, and for much the same reason, there will be viewers who are unable to relate to its characters, as some of the show’s less-favorable reviews have pointed out.
But it would be naive to assume that the themes in “Half Man” – of fragile masculinity, internalized homophobia, misdirected rage, nihilistic rebellion, conflicted desires, projected shame, and the other ingredients that infuse this shadow-boxing psychodrama with such a distinctive musky odor – do not apply to more men in today’s culture of incels, “looksmaxxers,” and “the Man-o-sphere” than any of them would like to admit. We’d wager that its portrait of a same-sex, sub/Dom, borderline incestuous relationship might resonate more urgently there than within a queer community that has been grappling with those issues for generations already and are just waiting for everybody else to catch up.
In any case, Gadd’s newest variation on a theme is a solidly crafted, well-acted, and hypnotically fascinating (if sometimes uncomfortable) exercise in the kind of “can’t look away” drama that makes for a perfect binge watch. Or, at least, it will once all the episodes drop.
Arts & Entertainment
LGBTQ+ people, weed, and mental health: what you need to know
Community uses marijuana at much higher rates than general population
Uncloseted Media published this story on May 7.
By SPENCER MACNAUGHTON | In 2025, the global cannabis market size was valued at nearly $103 billion. By 2034, that number is expected to explode by roughly 1,400 percent to more than $1.43 trillion.
In short, as an increasing number of countries legalize marijuana use, everyone is starting to consume a lot more weed. And LGBTQ+ people tend to use cannabis at much higher rates than the general population. One study found that 55 percent of lesbian and 45 percent of gay young adults use marijuana, compared to about 33 percent and 37 percent, respectively, of their straight counterparts.
As LGBTQ+ people face a mental health crisis, the mainstream stereotypes that depict weed as an antidote for anxiety, panic and depression aren’t painting the full picture. And that could be exacerbating the mental health struggles so many queer people, and especially youth, face.
Here’s what the research demonstrates about marijuana and its effects on mental health:
- Multiple studies suggest a link between marijuana use and an increased risk of mental health disorders, including schizophrenia, depression and anxiety in individuals who are genetically predisposed.
- One study found that daily marijuana use, especially among younger people, makes some individuals seven times more likely to develop psychosis.
The increase in higher-potency strains of marijuana could pose unknown risks. In 1995, the average content of Tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) in confiscated marijuana was less than 4 percent. In 2022, it was more than 16 percent. Researchers don’t know the full extent of the impact that these higher concentrations can have on mental health and especially on younger people whose brains are still developing.
- A systematic review of studies published between 2013 and 2025 found damning results for the mental health of young cannabis users:
They were 51 percent more likely to experience depression, 58 percent more likely to experience anxiety, between 50 and 65 percent more likely to experience suicidal ideation and 80 to 87 percent more likely to have attempted suicide.
- While the above stats paint a grim picture, there is also some research that suggests benefits of cannabis use:
- A 2025 systematic review found that “medicinal” weed showed some efficacy in relieving withdrawal symptoms of opioid use disorder. THC use has been associated with improvement of post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms, bipolar symptoms and sleep quality.
- Other studies found that THC administered in a controlled setting was associated with a decrease of symptoms and adverse effects for a range of mental health disorders, including schizophrenia, psychotic symptoms, and anorexia nervosa.
Beyond what we pulled from academia, there is an astounding lack of information about the interplay between weed and mental health. As we dive deeper into Mental Health Awareness Month, I hope advocacy organizations, influencers and news outlets ramp up their coverage of this important topic that affects the countless LGBTQ+ weed smokers, many of whom are already struggling.
a&e features
Lesley Ann Warren thought ‘Victor/Victoria’ would end her career; then came queer icon status
At the TCM Classic Film Festival, Warren helped introduce a screening of the 1982 camp classic
When Lesley Ann Warren first watched a cut of the campy musical comedy Victor/Victoria, in which she plays Norma Cassidy, the extravagant showgirl known for shouting “Pookie!”, she thought she’d never land a part again.
“I was so shocked to see myself that way, and I went home, and I cried, for a long time, I thought my career is over. It’s just over!” Warren said before a packed Saturday, May 2 screening of Victor/Victoria at the TCM Classic Film Festival in Hollywood, California, moderated by TCM’s Dave Karger. “So I never thought about [an Oscar nomination].”
Directed by Blake Edwards (Breakfast at Tiffany’s), the film stars Julie Andrews as Victoria Grant, a down-on-her-luck performer who meets an older gay man (played by Robert Preston) and winds up posing as a man impersonating a woman on stage. As her artistic career takes off, though, so does her romantic one, as the insecure gangster King Marchand (played by James Garner), who starts off in a relationship with Norma, begins wondering if his attraction to Victoria (or Victor, as she’s known to the outside world) makes him gay. Following the 1982 film, Victor/Victoria was adapted into a 1995 Broadway musical; Andrews was the only part of the production to be Tony-nominated (she famously declined the recognition.)
In 1983, Warren would go on to receive an Oscar nomination in the supporting actress category; Andrews and Preston also earned acting nominations, and the film was recognized for adapted screenplay, production design, and costume design, even winning for its music. Warren’s nomination was surprising because the Academy rarely values comedic, over-the-top performances.
“I honestly didn’t even keep track. I knew that MGM was doing this incredible campaign for me, but I wasn’t a part of it because I was working [on A Night in Heaven], and different times,” Warren recalls, explaining she found out about the nomination after producer Joel Silver called her early in the morning. “It was an out-of-body experience. They had to stop filming that day — all these outlets like Entertainment Tonight flew in to see my reaction … It was thrilling.”

Even more so than the Academy’s recognition in 1983, Warren’s status as a queer icon who resonates deeply with LGBTQ+ audiences has stuck with her, mainly for her work in Victor/Victoria, Cinderella, and, of course, cult favorite Clue. When asked about what that status means to her, Warren expressed strong enthusiasm for her queer fans.
“I wouldn’t say it’s a surprise, I’m thrilled because I love them,” Warren said. “Especially Clue and Victor/Victoria, there’s such larger-than-life women in a way, and that’s really part of the appeal. But I was telling you backstage, I have gotten incredible responses from many people, but two specific people who happen to be brilliant directors.”
Warren said she heard this feedback from openly queer filmmakers Rob Marshall, who went on to direct Chicago and Into the Woods, and Lee Daniels, who helmed The Butler and Precious. “The pain that Cinderella went through and the ostracizing, [Daniels] felt as a child,” she recalled. “He said he used to sit in the corner of his bedroom and sing ‘In My Own Little Corner,’ and it gave him comfort.”
It didn’t take Warren nabbing the Oscar nomination, or the queer community’s love and admiration, for her to come around on her performance in Victor/Victoria, though: everything clicked at the film’s premiere. “I heard and saw the reaction of the people in the flesh, in the moment, and I thought, ‘Oh, I’m going to be OK!’”
Based on the contagious, uproarious laughter that could be heard across the entire TCL Chinese Theatre on Saturday night, Warren’s campy-as-hell performance in Victor/Victoria continues to steal the show nearly 45 years later.
Bars & Parties
The ladies who brunch: Sonja Morgan and other Bravolebrities celebrated queer joy at The Abbey
The LA Blade was on the scene to join the vivacious Bravo personality at the venue’s Sunday Service Brunch in West Hollywood.
With all the devastating anti-LGBTQ news that we have to report on every week, it is always nice to have an excuse to take a breath, celebrate fellowship, and remember that queer joy is a very real thing. The Los Angeles Blade was invited by the Abbey this last weekend to join in the festivities for Andy Santiago’s Sunday Service drag brunch, with a special appearance by Bravo’s Real Housewives of New York City personality Sonja Morgan.
Now, being a certified Bravophile, there was no way I was missing an appearance from one of my favorite reality TV divas. While Sonja didn’t join the show until its third season, she is always considered one of the franchise’s formidable personalities. We’ve been through it all with Sonja – the good, and the so bad it’s good TV moments. (Side note: I have met her show co-star Ramona Singer during one of her West Coast appearances…it wasn’t as fun…by a long shot.) Above Sonja’s goodheartedly crazy antics on the show, she has remained a staunch LGBTQ ally, even before the cameras showed up.
The weather was overcast, but the day was shining bright as Sonja entered to thunderous applause and fan clacking from the packed Abbey. Wearing a rhinestone crown, it was clear that the Queen had entered the building (flashback to Madonna’s visit to the Abbey the weekend before). Yes, there are many queens who come to The Abbey.

As a fun bonus, Below Deck Mediterranean’s Captain Sandy and wife Leah Rae Yawn joined the fun, as well as entertainment host, podcaster, and Andy Cohen’s right-hand gal, Daryn Carp. MISTR models in tinier than tiny undies flanked Sonja and her crew, and Misty Violet took to the stage hosting with HBO’s Legendary divas Becky Peach and Calypso Jete, with fun Housewife-remixed performances by Annie Biotixx. Sonja’s infamous tooth-popping-out moment was revisited…IYKYN.

The Brunch even had a fun stop by from the TMZ touring bus. Of course, Sonja had to entertain the tourists.

The day was a much-needed Sunday Funday addition, remembering that even among the chaos of queer politics and activist fatigue, we can still let loose a bit and enjoy some unfiltered time with our local queer community and allies.
Every table was occupied to the brim, and placed close together to allow for the full crowd. Drinks and laughs were flowing from table to table, and friendships were quickly made (even if just for the Brunch) in this varied crowd. This was a party that didn’t care who showed up, just that you did show up.
Diversity and queer joy were alive and well.
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