June 12, 2019 at 7:08 am PDT | by Billy Masters
Paula dazzles at Pride, despite not singing

Paula Abdul.

“Give me the old lady, the black lady, or the gay guy — Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris, or Pete Buttigieg. We’ve had the old white men over and over again. I’m tired of them. I’m gonna tell you, if Biden gets a boyfriend, he has my vote!” — Wanda Sykes on the Democratic presidential candidates while promoting her fabulous Netflix special, “Not Normal”.

Here we are, in the midst of Gay Pride Month, and what’s our first story about? A Straight Pride Parade — in my native Boston. Oh, the shame. Don’t they already have a Straight Pride Parade in Boston? The Saint Patrick’s Day Parade! Oops, they’ve let the gays into that one, too. In the broadest sense, I don’t have a problem with the idea of Straight Pride. I enjoy both straight and gay men, as long as they enjoy me. But the way this is being couched — as if straight people are an “oppressed majority” (their words) — makes me feel it borders on homophobic. Unless, of course, members of the LGBT community are welcomed to join in, just like our straight allies are invited and encouraged to join in our Pride parades. If not, it’s beginning to smell a lot like Charlottesville.

A Providence, R.I. Catholic bishop is urging parishioners to avoid anything related to Pride Month because it would be “harmful for children.” 

“They [meaning us LGBT folk] promote a culture and encourage activities that are contrary to Catholic faith and morals,” Tweeted Bishop Thomas Tobin. In case anyone is interested, Providence is a short one-hour drive from Boston. Why am I bringing that up? Although Boston has no gay adult establishments, Providence has quite a few gay male sex and strip clubs. On the other hand, Boston has plenty of Catholic churches.

Then we had Donald Trump attacking “Washed up psycho @BetteMidler.”  Certainly Bette is anything but “washed up,” but the Divine Miss M did step in it by Tweeting mis-information in the form of that long-debunked quote that Trump once said he would run as a Republican because “they’re the dumbest group of voters in the country.”  To Midler’s credit, she deleted the post once she learned the quote was fake, and she did apologize.

First Bette apologized; then the NYPD apologized. For what? For the Stonewall raid! New York police commissioner James P. O’Neill issued this statement: “I think it would be irresponsible to go through World Pride month and not to speak of the events at the Stonewall Inn in June of 1969. I do know what happened should not have happened.  The actions taken by the NYPD were wrong, plain and simple. The actions and the laws were discriminatory and oppressive, and for that, I apologize. I vow to the LGBTQ community that this would never happen in the NYPD in 2019. We have, and we do, embrace all New Yorkers.” 

LA Pride kicked off with a spectacular free concert on the fairgrounds headlined by Paula Abdul. Anyone who thought this would be some quick hit-and-run appearance doesn’t know Paula. She was onstage for well over an hour. She performed every hit, she told stories, she brought folks onstage to dance, she had amazing videos and dynamic dancers who tossed her around as if she were a rag doll. The only thing she didn’t do was sing – which is ironic because at certain times, she had TWO microphones! She’d struggle to be heard speaking, but when a song started, suddenly the vocals were crystal clear.  Ultimately it didn’t really matter. Like Britney, who goes to hear Paula sing? She put on a great show, as you can see from clips on BillyMasters.com. BTW, this was a good chance for Abdul to try out the act in advance of her Vegas residency. She’ll be going into the Flamingo on Aug. 13. I have two tips for Paula – get a coach to work on the monologues about your life and perhaps sing a little.

You’ll recall allegations that Kevin Spacey got an underage busboy drunk at a bar in Nantucket and groped him. Spacey is petitioning to dismiss the charges because the lad’s cell phone (which had texts detailing the encounter) has been tampered with. The boy’s mom allegedly erased some texts describing her son’s “frat boy activities.” Spacey’s mouthpiece claims that the family “went to great lengths to remove text messages that he believes did not fit his narrative.” A decision on the motion will be announced July 8.

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Thomas in San Francisco: “I just saw ‘Rocketman’ and thought Richard Madden [the actor who plays Elton’s boyfriend/manager] was so sexy.  Is he really gay?  What a body!”

I don’t believe Richard Madden’s sexual orientation is much of a secret. Last week the venerable New York Times asked if he and actor Brandon Flynn are “an item”: “Madden shrugged, unbothered by the question but in no hurry to answer it, either.  ‘I just keep my personal life personal. I’ve never talked about my relationships.'” I think that says it all. His body is on full display in the UK series “Bodyguard.” The sight of Madden’s bare bottom on the BBC caused the usually unflappable Brits to become…well, flapped. Check it out on BillyMasters.com.

When we’re getting to the bottom of a story, it’s definitely time to end another column.  The moment LA Pride ended, I zipped to the East Coast. I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale and Boston before spending Fourth of July in Provincetown. But no matter where I am, I’m always updating www.BillyMasters.com – the site that welcomes straights and gays alike. I also welcome your questions. Send them to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before the bisexuals demand two parades!  So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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