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Ripa’s phony tributes to Regis?

Philbin said he never heard from former co-host after leaving show

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Kelly Ripa, gay news, Washington Blade

Regis Philbin told an interviewer that he never heard from Kelly Ripa after he left their show. (Photo by Keith Wills via Wikimedia Commons)

“If Mr. Lawrence can produce a contract, signed by me and Mr. Lawrence on the same page, at any time in history from the beginning of time, I will toast that contract, smear it with cream cheese and eat it on national television.” —Judge Judy Sheindlin addresses accusations of skulduggery regarding the sale of her syndicated show’s library. While I assume she will prevail, I would really enjoy seeing her eat the contract on TV.

Pandemic or not, August is typically the slowest time in entertainment – at least in terms of consumption. When I cannot watch “The View” shortly after waking, I feel out of step with the world. And when I cannot watch “The Talk” shortly after breakfast, I know it’s August. And yet, in the midst of this wasteland, television news continues to be generated — whether it is speculation on if Meghan McCain will return to “The View” after her baby is born (she claims she will); whether Sara Haines will return to “The View” since her “GMA” offshoot has been cancelled; and what will happen to Michael Strahan…and his lisp?

I admit it: I got caught up in the tributes to Regis Philbin. Then I started watching interviews he gave. In a sit-down with Larry King, Regis made a staggering confession when asked, “Do you keep in touch with Kelly Ripa?” “Not really, no. Never once did they ask me to go back … She got very offended when I left. She thought I was leaving because of her. I was leaving because I was getting older and it wasn’t right for me anymore.” Larry pressed – has Regis heard from her? “Never have.” Counter that with all the tributes Kelly has shown up on — inconsolable. Not all is as it seems. Think about that when you judge Ellen.

Moving on to something far more important – the Rockettes have cancelled their annual “Christmas Spectacular” at Radio City Music Hall. When the Rockettes are worried about kicking off, we’re doomed.

What a week we had on “Billy Masters LIVE.” Tuesday kicked off with the outrageous Judy Gold – whose book, “Yes, I Can Say That,” is not only hilarious but also brilliant. It is a perfect book to read in these times of social media outrage and political correctness (I heartily recommend the audiobook, which Judy reads). We were joined by Wilson Cruz. To say I’d wait a lifetime for Wilson is an understatement. We talked about our long friendship – complete with many heretofore unseen photos of him in various forms of undress. He was thoughtful, witty, sincere, and dishy. Everything I’d want in a boyfriend…er, I mean a guest! Definitely worth checking out.

On Thursday, Provincetown during a pandemic was the topic. We started off with Edmund Bagnell – who you may know from Well-Strung. He is currently doing a solo show at the Crown & Anchor. Also at the Crown is Varla Jean Merman, who popped in (out of drag) to discuss the challenges of laughing at the coronavirus. It was a perfect way to end the week. You can see all of our shows on BillyMasters.com/TV.

You may not have heard of Alex Morse, but he’s the gay, 31-year-old mayor of Holyoke, Mass., who is running for Congress. That alone would not make him column-worthy during our quarter-century celebration. No, he made the cut because he’s admitted to having had consensual sex with college students. Oh, did I mention he was a lecturer at the school in question? He made this revelation after some of his students claimed it was not consensual. He’s been accused of “using his position of power for romantic or sexual gains.”

I was shocked to read that Kevin McHale tried to kill his boyfriend. That may be a bit harsh. What he actually did was “accidentally poison” him. Potato/Potahto. The “Glee” star served his boyfriend, Austin McKenzie, some undercooked chicken sausage. In short order, McKenzie got “superrrrr sick” and ran out to get tested for the coronavirus…twice! After both tests came back negative, they realized McHale has simply given him salmonella. Oops! “He should break up with me. I would,” said Kevin. Austin then posted this: “I left Twitter years ago. I’m back on now to monitor my thirsty boyfriend, Kevin Mchale, who ‘accidentally’ gave me salmonella 5 days ago.”

Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Tim in Detroit: “Did you see those photos of Kit Harington? WTF?”

For those of you who aren’t in the know, the “Game of Thrones” star was snapped walking down the streets of London with his right arm down his pant leg. From the series of snaps, many have speculated that Kit was simply adjusting his dick – which we’ve all done from time to time. But his arm is so deep down there, I think he might have been trying to flatten some boxers. Unless his dick is REALLY long. I guess you’ll have to check out BillyMasters.com and decide for yourself.

When we’re running longer than Kit’s kit, it’s definitely time to end another column. Speaking of long, this month we are celebrating 25 years of writing this column. In some ways, it’s even more fun today. Believe it or not, back then I had to fax the column every week to some of my papers. And a few got theirs via snail mail – talk about timely! Should you need more of me (allowing for social distancing), write to [email protected], and I promise to get back to you after I find the answer in my pants! So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.

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Community Services - PSA

Los Angeles County Parks & Recreation summer classes

Don’t miss out on this opportunity to learn something new, make new friends & discover new talents! In-person/virtual classes begin May 30

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Photo Credit: County of Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES – LA County Parks is here to help you create lifelong memories this Summer. Whether you’re looking to learn a new skill or language, pick up a hobby or instrument, or simply be more active, we offer a class for everyone!  
 
Sign up for a class with friends at a park near you or join a class virtually from the comfort of your own home. Choose from a variety of special interest classes for the whole family. 

Don’t miss out on this unique opportunity to learn something new, make new friends and discover new talents!

In-person and virtual classes for all ages begin May 30, 2022

REGISTER ONLINE
 
Check out some of these class options and join our vibrant community today! 

  • Martial Arts including Family Kung Fu, San Do Kai Karate, Tai Chi Chuan for Seniors  
  • Exercise and Fitness including Kayaking, 60 Minute Pedometer (Steps) Challenge, Zumba, Dancerobics ️  
  • Performing Arts, Music and Dance including Acting, Musical Instruments including Violin and Piano/Keyboard, Dance Classes including Ballet, Line Dance, Tap, Afro-Brazilian and Ballroom 🎭💃  
  • Arts and Culture including Art and Drawing, Hand Sewing, Watercolor Painting 🎨 
  • Computers and Technology including a Father’s Day Robotics Workshop amd  RoboPets Robotics Camp 👾 
  • Sports including Tennis, Badminton, Baseball, Table Tennis🎾
  • Health and Wellness including Sound Bowl Healing Meditation, Yin Yang Yoga, Seven Steps to Being your Best 🌱 
  • Special Interest Classes including Chess, Food Composting, Exploring Ecology and Native Plants in Los Angeles, Knitting & Crocheting

BROWSE ALL CLASSES & SIGN UP TODAY!


Our quick and easy 24/7 online registration system Active Net allows you to manage everyone’s schedule through a single household account. Sign up for Summer Classes for yourself, partner and children from your smartphone or computer. To learn more about Active Net, visit parks.lacounty.gov/reserve.

Follow LA County Parks on social media: Facebook @parks.lacounty.gov and Twitter/Instagram/TikTok @lacountyparks. Share your experience using #LearnSomethingNew at #LACountyParks.

For more information, please contact [email protected].

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Community Services - PSA

MASSIVE bonus announced for LA County Lifeguards!

Lifeguarding has historically been a well-paying job by paying over the federal & state minimum wage, with a current pay rate of $18.27

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Photo Credit: County of Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles County’s Chief Executive Office (CEO) has recently announced a bonus of up to $4000 for all current and prospective pool lifeguarding staff in LA County for the remainder of 2022. The $4000 is a cumulative amount that is based on total hours worked (100 hours – $1,000, 300 hours – $1,000, 500 hours – $1,000, 1000 hours – $1,000). 

$4000 IN BONUSES AWARDED TO CURRENT AND PROSPECTIVE EMPLOYEES FOR THE 2022 YEAR! CLAIM YOURS TODAY!

This offer is extended to not only pre-existing lifesaving staff, but to all lifesaving staff (Cadets, Lifeguard, Senior Guard, Pool Manger) who join during 2022. Even lifeguard cadets who started in 2022 qualify from the date their training started. All other staff will begin accumulating hours towards the bonus on June 1 (start of 2022 summer season) and the program will end through the end of the calendar year. 

SWIM TEST DATES AND LOCATIONS


pool buoy
Photo Credit: County of Lo Angeles

Regional Recreation Director for Aquatics, Joseph Goss said, “This massive endowment adds just another to a long list of reasons to join the LA County Aquatics team. Lifeguarding is a wonderful way to start and grow your career in emergency services, sports medicine, nursing or to climb higher and higher in LA County’s own Aquatic department.

Lifeguarding has historically been a well-paying job and continues to do so by paying over the federal and state minimum wage, with a current pay rate of $18.27. Additionally, lifeguarding provides a flexible schedule that understands that employees also have responsibilities to school and other jobs.”

For those interested, LA County Parks is still looking to hire for the Summer 2022 season for its over 30 pools and aquatic centers across LA County Parks. Interested parties can visit governmentjobs.com/careers/lacounty to apply today. 

APPLY TO BECOME A LIFEGUARD TODAY!

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Community Services - PSA

It’s park time! Make LA County Parks your destination this summer

Make LA County Parks your destination this summer as you explore, engage and connect through our exciting programs!

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Photo Credit: County of Los Angeles

LOS ANGELES – Summer is just around the corner! Get ready to create lifelong memories with your family through LA County Parks activities, programs and events. From sports, recreation classes and aquatic programs for all ages to nature center offerings and overnight camping, there’s something for every body this summer. Join the fun starting May 30, 2022.

LEARN MORE

Check out a few of our upcoming programs!

SPORTS FOR ALL
July 9 – August 27
Times vary based on location
Program availability may vary by location
Pre-registration is required; register HERE

Youth Sports for All clinic is an 8-week skills development clinic that meets once a week for basketball, baseball, soccer, volleyball, table tennis and other sports. Clinics focus on building foundational skills, self-confidence and teamwork. Maximum group size is 15-youth, and a minimum enrollment of 12 youth is required for each group. Age groups are as follows: 6-8 years old (1 hour), 9-12 years old (1 hour).

EVERY BODY PLAYS DROP IN SUMMER ADVENTURE
Mondays – Fridays; 11:00 AM – 4:30 PM
June 13 – August 15
Free drop-in program; no registration required

Every Body Plays is a positive space with a curriculum that is youth centered and designed for fun! Children can enjoy lunch and snack at the park with their friends and family before joining the fun at select parks, lunch will be from 12:00 pm – 1:00 pm daily via a grab-n-go service delivery and snack between 3:00 pm – 4:00 pm.  The program provides children ages 7 thru 17 with access to caring and trained park staff who serve as mentors and lead an array of programs and activities, ranging from sports, fitness, arts and crafts, STEM, group games, story time and so much more. Every day is an adventure in LA County Parks!

AQUATICS

LEARN TO SWIM
Monday – Friday, Saturdays
June 13 – August 20
Times may vary by location, level and session
Pre-registration is required; register HERE 

LA County Aquatics’ Swim Lessons teach core swimming skills including water safety, floating and stroke technique while developing a lifelong love for the water and a lifetime of healthy habits. The program is designed to provide swimmers with a positive learning experience while steadily progressing through the core skills and strokes.  All levels are in alignment with the American Red Cross’ “Learn to Swim” Program. Additionally, 400 Learn to Swim scholarships are available on a first come, first serve basis to bring free swim lessons across LA County. Scholarships are open to youth ages 5 – 17 years of age. For more information and assistance with applying, visit the Learn to Swim Pools and Information to contact our aquatics offices Monday thru Friday between the hours of 8 am and 5 pm. For more information on youth aquatics scholarships, visit the DPR Scholarship page of our website.

EVERY BODY SWIMS
Monday to Friday 12:30 PM – 2:00 PM; Saturday from 12:30 – 4:00pm
Begins June 11
Free drop-in program; No registration required


Recreational Swim is a fun and positive way to beat the heat, practice new skills, be physically active and de-stress. Rec swim also provides an opportunity to socialize and make new friends. Rec Swim starts June 11th and is Monday to Friday from 12:30pm to 2:00pm and Saturdays from 12:30pm to 4:00pm.
For a full list of additional Aquatics offerings and programs, visit our AQUATICS page.

NATURE CENTERS

SUMMER NATURE CAMPS
Dates and times vary by location
Pre-registration required. Register HERE

Summer Nature Camp provides an opportunity for outdoor adventure and exploration for youth. Camps are supervised by trained staff and children are kept in groups while practicing physical distancing and other COVID19 safety guidelines to ensure campers have fun while staying safe. Activities include nature related crafts and games, hiking adventures, cultural arts, natural history, and conservation. This camp experience is designed to promote teamwork, making new friends, building self confidence, and developing an appreciation and connection to nature.

EVERY BODY EXPLORES
Tuesdays – Fridays  11:00 AM – 4:30 PM
Free drop-in program; No registration required

The Every Body Explores program provides participants of all ages an opportunity to check out a Naturalist field backpack they can use to complete self-guided activities, make observations and explore the park.

NATURE KNOWLEDGE NIGHTS
Dates vary by location 6:00 PM – 7:00 PM
Free drop-in program; No registration required

Spend an evening getting to know the beauty of the natural world at a Los Angeles County Nature Center. Activities vary based on topic but may include group activities, ESTEAM fundamentals, community science, nature hikes, guided tours or animal ambassador experience.

SATURDAY DISCOVERY
Every Saturday at select Nature Centers / 10:00 AM – Noon
Free drop-in program; No registration required

Each Saturday our Superintendents welcome you to Nature Center Discovery, where you’ll learn about the natural habitat around you, even meeting Animal Ambassadors native to the area!  Find a Nature Center near you HERE.

ESTEAM SUMMER CAMP
June 13 – August 19
Pre-registration required. Register HERE

LA County Parks, in partnership with the Natural History Museum of Los Angeles County, Beaches and Harbors, and Los Angeles County Public Works, is proud to announce the return of ESTEAM. Campers will connect with the outdoors and explore ESTEAM topics, all with curriculum that is inclusive and supports the development of students. ESTEAM provides campers will have fun learning through group games, arts and culture, technology, field trips, guest speakers, and project-based learning.

SUMMER CONTRACT CLASSES
Dates, times and locations vary by class
Registration required. Register HERE


We teamed up with some of the best instructors in Los Angeles to bring you hundreds of classes for all ages, levels and budgets. Take a class at your local park for some fresh air or join virtual classes from the comfort of your own home! Whether you’re looking to be more active, learn a new hobby or take up a new skill or language, we have just the class to help you and everyone in your family achieve your summer goals.

…AND MUCH MORE!

VIEW SUMMER PROGRAMS

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