Fan Girl Café is the little hidden gem that could. Co-owned by business and life partners Betsy Martinez (a music photographer) and Cynthia Temblador (a former chemistry engineer), has been serving up coffee and a wide variety of other delectables, celebrating female music icons, community, creativity, and a love of music. Located in West Hollywood, it is a safe and vibrant space that offers an alternative to the nightlife scene. The location comes with music cred as it was home to P.J.’s nightclub throughout the 60s, and later to Starwood throughout the 70s.

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Next week, Fan Girl Café becomes the ultimate Little Monsters headquarters as Lady Gaga comes to Los Angeles for four nights on her Mayhem tour. All week long, the venue will present a specialty menu reflecting songs and themes from the Gaga world, and will feature a wide variety of activities that include a screening, trivia, drag, karaoke, and dance competitions.

Gaga is the perfect artist to feature at Fan Girl Café. According to co-owner Martinez, “Lady Gaga embodies everything we love—fearless artistry, activism, and self-expression—so Mayhem Week is our love letter to her and her fans.”

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The Los Angeles Blade sat with Martinez and Cynthia to spill the tea, or coffee, rather, to chat about their unique venue, the challenges of owning a small business in West Hollywood, and more:

How did you meet?

Cynthia: We actually met on Bumble during the pandemic. What really sealed our connection was our mutual love for music. Our very first date was a deep dive into our favorite playlists, swapping stories about concerts and the songs that changed our lives. That shared passion has been the heartbeat of our relationship and our cafe. 

What inspired you to open Fan Girl Café?

Betsy: I’ve been in the hospitality industry for over 20 years- including bartending at some of LA’s most famous music venues. Being paid to work while being surrounded by live music and happy fans was the perfect atmosphere for a music lover like myself. From there, I began pursuing music photography, alongside my hospitality gigs-and even started a blog in 2019, called Fan Girl LA, where I shared my fan experiences. Unfortunately, COVID hit soon after, and live events paused, making me essentially unemployed and with a ton of free time on my hands. I’d always wanted to open my own space, but had never really made a plan or knew exactly what type of concept I’d want to create. With the downtime from the pandemic came a lot of time for thinking about my future and what I wanted to do when the world returned to normal. It was during this time that I finally felt like I could actually pursue my dream, make a business plan, and take time to create something special. Having met such a supportive partner like Cynthia, who was also ready for a career change, made it an easy decision to create a space we wished existed.  We missed live concerts and events, and we bonded over that collective longing to be in community. We began visiting coffee shops to break the quarantine blues and noticed a stark lack of creative, funky spots where you could work remotely or just hang out amongst community, in a space that wasn’t catered around ‘party’ing’. That realization sparked the idea for Fan Girl Café: a place to enjoy a cup of coffee and food, while listening to music and video playlists from all eras. 

What do a photographer and a chemical engineer bring to a coffee shop?

Betsy: My background in concert and event photography means I see the cafe as a visual and emotional story—curated art, rotating music video playlists, and a gallery vibe that invites connection. My years of experience in the hospitality industry have taught me the importance of exceptional guest service, which I now bring to every interaction at the cafe. We want everyone to feel welcome when they walk in and have a great experience. We encourage interactions and make it easy with the theme of the cafe being such a universal one-we think everyone has a ‘Fan Girl’ in them.

Cynthia’s background as a chemical engineer and food safety consultant, combined with her passion for coffee and food, brings a unique blend of science, creativity and heart that helps make our cafe so special. 

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What are the biggest challenges of being a small business owner in West Hollywood?

Betsy: The neighborhood’s high rent and operating costs are real, and natural disasters that indirectly could impact you and the economic climate. And for us, our location is not the best- we are tucked back in a strip mall that most people don’t know exists- so getting the word out without a marketing budget has been a challenge. Even so, the community’s enthusiasm has made it all worthwhile.

How can the community best support your efforts?

Cynthia: By being present—whether they grab a drink, food, merch, attend an event, or share about us in social media. If you love our space but can’t make it in often, tell your friends about us! 

What sets Fan Girl Café apart from other queer-friendly spaces in West Hollywood?

Cynthia: We’re not a nightlife spot or bar—we’re a daytime, coffee-first cultural hub. As the first woman, queer, Latina-owned café in the area, we champion femme, queer and non-binary voices with themed decor, rotating art by local photographers, music video rotations, and special live, daytime events—crafting a space for “fan girls” of all backgrounds.

Lesbian representation is so important, yet so small—why is that, and is LGBTQ culture becoming more inclusive?

Cynthia: Sometimes these spaces often lack funding and mainstream visibility, making them less permanent in queer neighborhoods. But that’s changing: Fan Girl Cafe, along with other emerging venues, is part of a broader shift toward intersectional and queer representation. 

How do you maintain your relationship while running a business together?

Cynthia: We’ve learned to compartmentalize sometimes—holding relationship check-ins separately from cafe operations. We recognize each other as partners first and business owners second, working with clear roles, grace, and respect for personal boundaries. It strengthens both our love and our brand. With that said- it isn’t the easiest journey, and probably not for everyone, but our love for each other and the beautiful community who shows up and supports us, make all the struggles worth it.

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What have you learned most about each other through this process?

Betsy: I appreciate Cynthia’s commitment to detail and thinking on how to scale business. I also learned what an amazing cook she is! She had cooked at home before, but she’s really impressed me with the recipes and menu she’s created and how much love she puts into every dish. Especially when you consider this is her first time working in this environment, it’s really blown my mind witnessing her talent and ability to adapt to a new environment.

Cynthia: I value how Betsy brings emotional storytelling, creativity and community-building into the space. Together, our strengths balance and elevate Fan Girl Cafe. 

So excited for Lady Gaga week—why Gaga?

Cynthia: Lady Gaga is the embodiment of everything we stand for—bold self-expression, and fearless creativity. Her fandom is queer-forward and inclusive. It felt natural to center a week-long celebration around her music, aesthetic, and values.  

Betsy: I, myself, am a HUGE fan of Lady Gaga, I’ve been to multiple concerts, and consider her one of my favorite artists of all time, so naturally we wanted to give her a tribute at the cafe. Mayhem is such a brilliant album that has been on repeat since it was released and seeing the joy of her fans, reveling in the new GAGA era has been really special. I feel like the album has brought the community together more than I’ve seen in recent years. We needed Mayhem during these times!

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First-time visitor—what are your must-try menu items?

“Fade Into You” lavender-vanilla latte (a nod to Mazzy Star), one of our signature drinks 

The Bratstachio Latte, a new favorite (referencing Charli XCX’s hit album)

“Hot To Go”  breakfast sandwich with a house made egg patty, chipotle mayo & choice of turkey sausage or bacon on a toasted brioche bun.

Be sure to check out our music‑themed/pop culture art, merch, and the unforgettable bathrooms! 

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Fun question: any ghosts in your historic WeHo location?

Betsy: There’s definitely some old Hollywood energy at our space. While nothing spooky has happened, it feels like there’s a playful spirit whispering through—but maybe that’s the legacy and spirit of what was once here before us. We found out after we opened that our cafe is in the location where a famous music venue once existed in the 70s- early 80s. So no ghosts, but more so cosmic energy, knowing that legends once played in the space where we are now brewing coffee is still pretty wild to us because the long list of artists who played here are amongst our favorites!  We are happy that we unknowingly brought back the music legacy to the plaza!

Visit Fan Girl Café: 8157 Santa Monica Blvd, Suite A, West Hollywood, CA 90046

Today’s SUVs are the golden retrievers of the car world: everywhere, predictable and sometimes oversized for what you really need. But for anyone who appreciates a bit more finesse, there’s something undeniably chic about a well-designed sedan. 

Cue the Honda Accord and Kia K5. These two midsizers offer sleek styling, advanced tech and enough cargo space for both your gym bag and your weekend drag. 

And the price? Lower than many similarly equipped crossovers, leaving money for, well, those little extras that bring us joy. Like weekend getaways. Pride merch. Or bottomless brunch.

HONDA ACCORD

$29,000

MPG: 29 city/37 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.3 seconds

Cargo space: 16.7 cu. ft. 

PROS: Dashing design. Comfy cabin. Renowned reliability. 

CONS: Barebones base-model. No all-wheel drive. 

IN A NUTSHELL: The latest Honda Accord has a timeless blazer-and-jeans energy: tailored and unfussy, but sharp enough to impress at a Sunday tea dance. Think Jonathan Bailey in a turtleneck. 

Inside, the vibe is clean and calming. The minimalist dash, high-quality materials and solid construction feel a lot more premium than the Accord’s price suggests. And that 12.3-inch touchscreen? It finally makes Honda’s infotainment system seem less like dating in the early 2010s (clunky and confusing) and more like a seamless swipe-right experience.

The base 1.5-liter turbo-four is quiet, efficient and perfectly fine—kind of like your straight friend’s go-to Spotify playlist. But the real diva here is the hybrid setup: a 2.0-liter engine paired with two electric motors delivering faster delivery and up to 48 mpg combined. No, none of the Accord trims are going to light up the racetrack. But the overall handling is clean and crisp—agile enough for a spirited backroads drive, yet comfortable for your daily Target runs (or, let’s be real, your third Trader Joe’s visit of the week).

Inside, wireless smartphone integration comes standard. So does Google built-in, which integrates voice commands, maps and app downloads. And Honda’s driver-assist suite of safety features is like your car’s own personal guardian angel. Best of all, cabin tech is intuitive and responsive, which means fewer moments shouting, “Ugh, why is it doing that?”

Other plusses: Plenty of legroom and headroom, especially for rear-seat passengers, and a trunk larger than many competitors. As for cupholders, there are enough for everyone and their iced oat-milk lattes.

The Accord won’t necessarily get hearts racing—but maybe that’s the point. To me, this ride is the emotionally mature boyfriend of midsize sedans: refined, dependable, and secretly a little wild when the feeling is right. IOW, the car you take home to meet your chosen family.

KIA K5

$28,000

MPG: 26 city/37 highway

0 to 60 mph: 7.4 seconds

Cargo space: 16.0 cu. ft. 

PROS: Snazzy styling. Plenty of power. Gizmos galore. 

CONS: Reduced rear headroom. No hybrid.

IN A NUTSHELL: If the Honda Accord is an Eagle Scout, then the Kia K5 is a full-blown rebel: sharp, daring and a rule breaker. Many automakers have pulled back on producing midsize sedans, but Kia doubled down on the K5. 

With a sloped-back profile, crisp creases and tiger-nose grille, this car looks like it was designed by someone who actually enjoys driving. Dramatic daytime running lights give the K5 a snarling front-end appearance, and the wide stance hints at the sporty soul beneath.

This year Kia updated the front and rear fascias on certain trims and added new wheel options. There’s also a new Sapphire Blue color that absolutely pops in sunlight. Vogue photoshoot, anyone?

Slide inside and the interior feels upscale: high-quality materials, tight panel gaps and a driver-focused dash. Higher trims bring in a 10.25-inch screen, thumping Bose stereo and even ventilated seats. 

Under the hood, the base K5 comes with plenty of power for commuting and merging. But if you want real fun, opt for the GT trim.With its 2.5-liter turbo cranking out 290 horsepower, the GT rockets to 60 mph in just 5.5 seconds. A dual-clutch transmission operates like in a real sportscar, and paddle shifters keep you in control. (Bonus: The GT gets launch control. Yes, on a Kia sedan!)

The suspension is firmer than the Honda Accord, especially in the GT, but never harsh. The payoff: confident handling and a car that feels dialed-in at highway speeds. And AWD? It’s available—though, oddly, not on the GT. 

While the K5 seats five comfortably, the sexy coupe-like roof makes backseat headroom a bit tight for taller passengers. Trunk space is decent, though, and the rear seats fold down to make space for skis, IKEA runs or emergency drum kits.

Sleek, tech-savvy and surprisingly athletic: The K5 is a four-door statement for drivers who don’t want to disappear into a sea of crossovers. You know, the cool kid of midsize sedans. 

While most teenagers are busy playing video games, Triston Ezidore was busy making history. 

From high school student to school board member for the Board of Education in Culver City, Ezidore talks with the LA Blade about his unconventional entry into politics with influence from George Floyd’s death and the COVID-19 pandemic, and how he made history twice while he was still a teenager. 

In 2021, most of us were still at home and many people unemployed, out of school, caring for loved ones or just merely surviving the pandemic shutdowns and peak infections caused by COVID-19. During this time, many high school students lost valuable time in the classroom, being cut off from celebrating and socializing with their peers. Young Ezidore, rose above that—and more—achieving new milestones within his family and within the entire board of education in Culver City, bringing representation to queer, trans and communities of color. 

Shortly after graduation, Ezidore headed to Syracuse University and from afar, he continued to tune into the Culver City school board meetings to track the progress he had made during his time as student body president in high school. 

“I was still kind of watching, tuning into everything that was going on in Culver City and we knew that in order to get [the progress] right, we had to have a spotlight over the implementation,” said Ezidore. 

It was during this time, that he noticed that all the progress he tried to implement during his time there, was not being implemented correctly, so he felt like it was his responsibility to track the movements a little more closely. 

This is when he made the decision to return home and enroll at University of Southern California’s Dornsife College of Letters, Arts and Sciences—where he simultaneously launched his campaign for a seat on the Culver City Unified School District Board of Education. 

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In 2022—just one year after graduating high school—he won one of three open seats, becoming the youngest elected official in Los Angeles County at 19 years old. Then in 2023, he was elected to serve as School Board Vice President—making history as the first Black, gay man in that position as a teenager. 

Though his journey into politics is “unconventional” as he puts it, Ezidore says he was radicalized to go into politics because of George Floyd’s death and the inequities made incredibly obvious by the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Ezidore says that being the child of immigrants also inspired him to ultimately look into politics to gain a better understanding of how his perspective can be helpful towards other people’s experiences and educational goals. 

His mother was born in Vietnam and moved to the United States after the fall of Saigon, which was the end of the Vietnam war that lasted from 1955 to 1975. Ezidore’s father is from Jamaica, so that gives Ezidore a unique perspective into the challenges and unique obstacles that many students face during their K-12 education. 

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Ezidore also identifies as gay and has been out since he was 18 years old. 

“I find myself identifying as a gay, Black man, and I know that under this administration specifically, there has been an obsession with LGBTQ people and trans people in education,” said Ezidore. “I think historically our [education] system has not supported Black boys in education as a whole, so I find myself often pulling or tapping into those aspects of my identity.”

As a proud, gay, Black man, he felt that it was necessary to implement actual structures to support the most neglected demographic of the education system. 

“We instituted the Black Student Achievement Plan that called for specific action goals to implement or to increase achievement,” said Ezidore. 

This plan created mentorship and internship opportunities, a Black student council, a Black affinity group graduation and uplifted students in achieving their goals. During that time, former  governor Jerry Brown stated that school districts should implement a Local Control and Accountability Plan (LACP). The plan serves as a tool to improve student outcomes with a roadmap that tracks and sets goals and plan actions, and leverages resources to guide students who were foster youth, low-income and English-learners. 

“I don’t know that [Trump] is going to withhold the funding, but to me, I don’t know if I could sleep at night if I let him dictate these [educational] outcomes for the students in Culver City,” he said. 

The latest update from the Supreme Court is that Trump is allowed to continue dismantling the U.S. Department of Education, worrying scholars throughout the country, with many saying that without an injunction, much of the damage can be irreversible. The Department of Education has already experienced the slashing of over 1,400 jobs and will continue to see more funding cuts due to the Reduction in Force (RIF) plan, implementing Trump’s Executive Order, which he claims will improve education and families by returning education authority to individual states. 

Pride season is a time to celebrate authenticity in all of the forms it may come in, and that includes those whose identities reside at the intersection of queerness and faith. For many, reconciling religious tradition with LGBTQIA+ identity isn’t always an easy existence and can be a spiritual roller coaster for so many. But it’s also a journey rich with resilience, growth, and sometimes some unexpected joy.

In this conversation, we hear from Sabrina Hodak, a queer Modern Orthodox Jew and Youth Ambassador with Beloved Arise, a movement dedicated to LGBTQIA+ youth of faith, who shares with us her journey of rediscovering Judaism, challenging narrow definitions of belonging, and embracing her full self. With honesty, heart, and an appropriate dash of chutzpah, Hodak offers insight into what it means to live with pride and purpose without checking any part of yourself at the synagogue door.

Sabrina, can you share with us your journey with Judaism and when you began to feel a deeper personal connection to your faith?

I’ve always felt a strong spiritual connection to Judaism. But when I was 10, my family moved to Florida, and I started attending public school. During that transition, I lost touch with some of my Jewish practices.

Things began to shift in high school when I started attending local Jewish youth group meetings and events. That’s when I felt the connection rekindle. Each week, we’d study the weekly Torah portion and have deep, meaningful conversations with mentors about Jewish topics.

One moment that truly reignited my passion was attending a spring regional Shabbaton, a weekend retreat with all the youth group chapters in our region. I made new friends, learned new prayers and songs, and felt deeply moved. It opened my eyes to the richness and beauty of Judaism I hadn’t known before. That experience brought me closer to Hashem in a way I hadn’t felt in a long time. It gave me the courage to face personal challenges, strengthen my relationships, and expand my worldview.

How did your experience in your Jewish youth group impact both your spiritual and personal growth?

My Jewish youth group was transformative. As I learned more about fundamental Jewish philosophy, it sparked a desire in me to grow – not just spiritually, but personally.

As someone interested in psychology, I was drawn to the concept of middot, or character traits. I studied traits like joy, anger, sadness, honor, and truth, and how to engage with them in thoughtful, productive ways rather than reactive ones.

Judaism inspired me to harness my strengths and cultivate better relationships – with others, with myself, and with Hashem.

You mentioned feeling isolated as you started discovering your sexuality. What helped you through that time?

My friends were my greatest support. When I realized I was queer, their love and encouragement made me feel incredibly lucky and grateful.

When I felt frustrated or hurt by religious mentors – or angry and disheartened by some of the rabbis I spoke to – my friends were there. Their support gave me the strength to keep going.

What does it mean to you now to be the representation you didn’t have when you were growing up?

It means the world. I’m deeply grateful to have a platform to share my experiences as a queer Jewish person, and to create projects that amplify the voices and stories of queer Jews.

If I could meet my younger self, I think she’d be proud that I found the courage to step outside my comfort zone and tell my story – to show other queer youth that they are not alone.

How has your relationship with God evolved as you’ve embraced your identity as both queer and Jewish?

Looking back, I realize that when I first asked religious mentors about how queerness fits into Judaism, I wasn’t just seeking information – I was asking for permission to take a different path. I’d ask questions like whether a queer person should still keep shomer negiah (a rabbinic law about physical contact between genders), or how gender identity intersects with tzniut (modesty).

Those conversations were often painful and disheartening. But even amid that frustration, I found room to grow in my relationship with God by exploring Jewish teachings beyond just their relevance to queerness.

I came to understand that while my queer identity is an important part of who I am, it doesn’t define my entire being. Not everyone will know I’m queer – but they will know, through how I treat others and carry myself, whether I’m a kind and respectful person.

And as I’ve learned more about God’s nature, I’ve come to believe that He cares for me deeply and unconditionally, no matter what others might say. After high school, stepping away from the youth group gave me space to fully embrace myself.

I’ve realized that I’ve always been whole, queerness included. I don’t have to follow a narrow or heteronormative version of a Jewish life to be “Jewish enough.” My journey can be as expansive as God is.

What drew you to join Beloved Arise, and how has it shaped your understanding of faith and queerness?

I applied to be a Youth Ambassador with Beloved Arise because of their mission to celebrate and empower queer youth of faith across all spiritual traditions. It’s crucial for people to understand that being queer and being a person of faith are not mutually exclusive. Both can coexist beautifully.

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What challenges still exist for LGBTQIA+ individuals in Jewish communities?

As a queer Modern Orthodox Jew, I still face challenges – especially within more traditional or strict denominations. I’ve had rabbis ask me deeply inappropriate questions or make openly prejudiced remarks about queerness.

I’ve seen queer Jews deliberately misgendered in Orthodox spaces without apology or concern. It’s painful to know that in some religious communities, being openly queer may mean being treated differently – or even excluded.

What progress have you seen?

I haven’t personally been in a religious Jewish setting where queer topics were openly discussed, so I can’t speak to institutional progress from firsthand experience.

However, I’ve seen growth through Jewish organizations that support queer youth. For example, Yeshiva University recently recognized a gender and sexualities club called Hareni, which is a huge milestone. Given YU’s Orthodox identity, it’s a significant step forward.

What advice would you give to a young queer Jewish person who feels unsure about their place in religious spaces?

I’ve been there – and honestly, I’m still seeking out affirming queer Jewish spaces myself. But just because you don’t have that space right now doesn’t mean you don’t belong. You do belong – as a Jew, as an observant person (if that’s your path), and as someone worthy of spiritual community.

And you will find a space where you feel seen and supported. Don’t give up on that hope.

As a Youth Ambassador during Pride season, what message do you most want people, especially queer youth of faith, to hear?

I want queer youth of faith to know that no matter what their current circumstances are, they have the power to shape their future. You get to make choices about your life – no one else.

There will be people who try to tell you you’re not enough or that your identity isn’t valid. But they’re not the ones living your life – you are. You have an infinite future filled with infinite possibilities for joy, purpose, and fulfillment.

Make it count.

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“Drop the top, baby!… Drop the pedal and go!”So croons Aretha Franklin in “Freeway of Love,” her classic song about a joyride in a pink Cadillac convertible. 

Those free-spirited lyrics came to mind recently each time I got behind the wheel of an equally exquisite ride: the Mercedes CLE 450. 

MERCEDES CLE 450 CONVERTIBLE 

$76,000

MPG: 23 city/32 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.2 seconds

Cargo space: 9.6 cu. ft. 

PROS: Dreamy design. Divine handling. Dazzling amenities. 

CONS: Cramped cargo area. Kinda impractical for everyday driving.   

IN A NUTSHELL: Who needs two fine open-top chariots when one fabulous convertible will do? That seems to be the thinking at Mercedes, which recently replaced two of its cabriolets—the compact C-Class and midsize E-Class—with the brand-new CLE 450.  

While the wheelbase is a wee bit shorter than on the outgoing E-Class model, the CLE is longer overall than either of its two former siblings. The result: more legroom than expected, especially for anyone in the front seats. Even backseat occupants may feel comfy (OK, perhaps not Brittney Griner or Carl Nassib, but still…).  

Alas, trunk space is slightly scrunched, thanks to the folding fabric roof. But that power-operated top—available in black, gray or red—can be raised and lowered with the car traveling at speeds up to 37 mph. And the triple-layer acoustic material provides excellent insulation and greatly reduces outside noise. In fact, I often had to remind myself this was the CLE convertible and not the hardtop coupe. 

There’s also a wind-deflector apparatus that, when activated, elevates airflow off the windshield and reduces backflow with a rear mesh screen. For added pampering, an AIRSCARF system lives up to its name, sending warm air onto the necks of front-seat passengers. (Don’t tell my husband, but I felt like an invisible suitor was wooing me, seductively blowing kisses my way.)

Convertibles usually are not as structurally rigid as their hardtop counterparts. But here again, Mercedes works its magic: The chassis—made of aluminum and high-strength steel—is so incredibly stiff that there’s absolutely no shake and shimmy. This solid body structure also provides for a safe vehicle shell. 

Under the hood, there’s a spirited 375-hp turbo engine, augmented by grippy all-wheel drive and a graceful nine-speed automatic transmission. As a crazed soccer fan, I think it’s not too much of a stretch to say the driving experience combines the speed, sass and savvy of a star athlete (think Megan Rapinoe). 

Inside, there are plenty of premium styling cues, as well a glitzy dashboard with 12.3-inch digital cluster and 11.9-inch multimedia touchscreen. Yes, the CLE borrows heavily from the C-Class and E-Class. But somehow—perhaps because of the low ground clearance and multi-contour seats (which include heating, ventilation and massage functions)—this cabin feels and functions more like a true cockpit. 

Along with all the driver-assistance features, there are 11 airbags (including rear head airbags), pop-up roll bars and a drowsy-driver alert monitor. In case of an impending crash, an accident-preparedness system immediately tightens seatbelts, adjusts seats and closes windows.  

I could go on about all the amenities, including a 17-speaker Burmester surround-sound stereo, the 64-color ambient-lighting system and more. But why bother? This is a Mercedes, after all, so you expect such babying. 

What wasn’t expected? How much I keep missing this beauty after my weeklong test drive ended. It’s not as if soft-tops are practical, like minivans and SUVs. And two-door rides—coupes or cabrios—now account for less than 4% of all new-vehicle sales. 

But Aretha would have understood. Classy convertibles, like her pink Caddy and the Mercedes CLE 450, represent open-air freedom and the promise of adventure. 

“So jump in, it ain’t no sin. Take a ride in my machine.”

Hi Michael,

I make a fair amount more money than my girlfriend does and I’m happy to contribute more to our life (we are both in our 20s and living together).

But Meg doesn’t seem to care how much money she spends and then asks me to front her when she’s running low. She seldom pays me back. 

Last week she had a big night on the town with her best friend (formerly her girlfriend) for the friend’s 30th birthday. She hired a limo and spent a lot on drinks and dinner. She put the entire night on our joint card which we are only supposed to use for shared household expenses, because she had maxed out her own card. Of course I will wind up paying for it. (And I am slightly jealous. Why am I paying for her evening out with her former GF?)

I pay for all sorts of stuff all the time because her credit card gets too big for her budget. 

And somehow I almost never end up getting her share of the rent, which is already prorated according to our incomes.

She always tells me she’ll pay me back but her tab pretty much just keeps getting bigger.

If I bring this up with her, she tells me I am cheap because I make a lot and we’re a couple; and if she made more, she’d have no problem sharing everything with me. 

Am I just being ungenerous? I don’t know. Sometimes I think she’s an ingrate, but then I think if you’re in love, you shouldn’t be thinking of money, just taking care of the person you love.

Also, although I make more than she does, I’m by no means rich. I have my own student loans, and paying for the bulk of our lifestyle stretches me thin some months.

Michael replies:

For starters: Most couples must contend with some version of your struggle with Meg, because most couples have some income disparity.

Do you maintain a lifestyle that both of you can afford? That works for some relationships where the lower earner may not want to feel indebted to the partner who makes more. Other couples work out a system where they pay for expenses in proportion to their income. And in some instances, the higher earner may have a “what’s mine is yours” philosophy and the lower earner is OK with that.

What matters is that both partners come to a mutual agreement and are comfortable with the arrangement. In other words, they collaborate.

That’s not the case with you and Meg. You sound resentful, angry, and feeling like Meg is taking advantage of you.  

It’s great to be generous in your relationship, but it’s also important to have a boundary when you think it’s important to have a boundary. Yet you’re continuing to subsidize Meg even when you have trouble making your own ends meet. 

Important question: Have you told Meg that you’re stretched thin some months? If not, I’d be curious as to how you’ve made that decision. If so, I’d be curious as to Meg’s response.

If you don’t want to keep serving as Meg’s piggy bank, what is stopping you?  

There’s a great saying in psychotherapy: If it’s hysterical, it’s historical. Meaning, our “big” actions and reactions have their roots in our history.

Think about your life history: How does it make sense that you are acting like a powerless victim?  

Is not having a boundary an old and familiar dynamic for you? Were there important players in your life—for example, your parents—who insisted it was their way or the highway?  Or perhaps you learned as a kid that if you ever said “no” to your friends, there’d be negative consequences?

Now ask yourself what might be keeping you stuck in a relationship of resentment. Are you re-creating an old and familiar dynamic? Sometimes we keep putting ourselves in the same miserable situation, over and over again. What’s familiar can be comfortable, even if it’s miserable; and we may be trying to get some understanding of the dynamic and some power over it, to finally get it right.  

I’m just speculating here, to encourage you to think for yourself why you are staying in the dynamic you describe. You haven’t mentioned anything positive about your relationship, or about Meg.

Another possibility: I wonder if you might be so fearful of being alone that you’re willing to tolerate all sorts of treatment in order to stay in your relationship. Or perhaps you don’t think you deserve to be treated any better than this.

Again, if this is the case, where might this belief be coming from? Understanding why we are stuck in behaviors that keep us miserable can help us to get unstuck.

You have an opportunity to do something different here: Set a boundary and take power over your life. Perhaps if you did so, Meg would surprise you by shifting her stance, which would be good news if you have some good reasons to stay. Or perhaps she would not. Your challenge now is to get some sense of what’s holding you back, if you want something different for yourself. And unless you act on your own behalf, you will stay in this position. 

One more point to consider, regarding Meg’s dinner date with her ex: Whether or not anything is going on, I take your jealousy as a sign that you don’t trust Meg. And without trust, you can’t have a decent relationship.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

It’s official: Tariffs are here, and the result is financial chaos. 

So, what to do when purchasing a new vehicle? If you need one in the not-so-distant future, buy sooner (like yesterday) rather than later. Expect prices to rise quickly, as inventory dwindles, demand soars, and automaker incentives evaporate. Of course, if a new ride isn’t a priority for at least a year or three, then hold off until the dust settles. 

But for those of you looking for new wheels now, I recently drove two sport sedans that were a pleasant reprieve from the usual plethora of pickups, minivans, and SUVs. 

BMW 530i xDRIVE

$63,000

MPG: 28 city/35 highway

0 to 60 mph: 5.5 seconds

Cargo space: 18.4 cu. ft. 

PROS: Rakish looks. Race-car vibe. Rock-star amenities. 

CONS: Rad-but-quirky infotainment system. Rich price.

IN A NUTSHELL: Classic good looks, from the iconic grille and swept-back headlights to chiseled side panels and a tasteful tush. For a gearhead like me, the BMW 530i xDrive — completely redesigned last year — is as rapturous as Michelangelo’s David. Everything here is in proportion, from the design to the drivetrain, which — along with a gutsy 255-hp turbo and all-wheel drive — helps deliver a divine experience behind the wheel. Even better, my test car came equipped with the heavenly M-Sport Package: 21-inch wheels, athletic suspension, and assorted styling upgrades. 

A tech-laden cabin is outfitted with a sparkly 12.3-inch digital instrument cluster and 14.9-inch touchscreen infotainment system. With the windshield head-up display and a slew of knobs and toggle switches in the center console and on the steering wheel, I wondered if this is how it feels to pilot the Space Shuttle. There is even a back-lit interaction bar with touch-sensitive controls to adjust vent direction and other climate control settings. 

All this gadgetry takes some getting used to, but the overall effect is dazzling. While a 12-speaker Harman Kardon stereo comes standard, I was jammin’ to the 16-speaker Bowers & Wilkins premium audio. Of course, such options add up quickly (on my test car, the extras totaled $13,000). 

Just how fun is this car? In my favorite episode of “Hacks,” sassy Jean Smart drives a rockin’ Rolls Royce Wraith. Trust me, this four-door BMW is every bit the badass as that $300,000 super coupe. 

MERCEDES AMG CLA 35

$58,000

MPG: 22 city/29 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.8 seconds

Cargo space: 11.6 cu. ft. 

PROS: Slick styling. Spiffy cabin. Sublime seats.

CONS: Smallish trunk. So-so rear headroom and legroom.

IN A NUTSHELL: Need a smaller sedan that’s just as marvy as the midsize BMW i530? Look no further than the compact Mercedes CLA-Class, which is 14 inches shorter. That’s a benefit when jockeying for parking or navigating rush hour.

Another plus: This is Mercedes’s least expensive sedan, available in three trim levels. All come with the same potent turbo but in varying power levels. The base model starts at $46,000, but I tested the first of two high-performance versions: the AMG CLA 35, which costs $12,000 more. You can open your wallet even further to snag the $67,000 AMG CLA 45. 

But why bother? The AMG CLA 35 is plenty quick — faster than the BMW i530 — and boasts sport-tuned brakes, deft handling and a gritty-sounding exhaust system. The laundry list of standard features includes all-wheel drive, automated parking, gobs of the latest safety gizmos and even something called “safe-exit assist,” which prevents passengers from opening a door into traffic or speeding cyclists. 

The interior is pure Mercedes, with top-notch materials, customizable ambient lighting and Burmester surround-sound audio. The overall layout—sleek and modern, but with elegant stitching in the seats and on the door panels and dashboard—is comfortable and user-friendly. Digital displays and touchscreens are similar to what’s in the BMW i530, just smaller. 

Size matters, of course, which is why this vehicle’s shorter length can be a blessing but also a curse, especially when trying to squeeze passengers with longer legs into the backseats. And the dramatically sloped roofline, attractive from the outside, limits the amount of rear headroom and cargo space. Thank the automotive gods for panoramic sunroofs, which—at least for anyone in the front seats—makes this cabin feel surprisingly spacious.  

Looking to roll into something new? With all the buzz about 25% tariffs, it’s the perfect time to grab a new ride before prices soar—especially for electric vehicles, which may soon wave goodbye to those oh-so-attractive federal tax credits. Whether you are an eco-conscious commuter or just need a chariot for weekend getaways, these three green machines offer some serious swagger.

FORD MUSTANG MACH-E PREMIUM

$42,000

Range: 250-300 miles (depending on battery pack)

0 to 60 mph: 5.2  seconds

Cargo space: 29.7 cu. ft. 

PROS: Zippy. Sporty feel. Ample battery range.

CONS: Bit bumpy over potholes. Limited seat adjustments.

IN A NUTSHELL: With sleek curves and a design that’s hotter than a drag queen’s heels on the runway, the Ford Mustang Mach-E blends both power and flair. The exterior colors are vibrant and unapologetically bold, just like the rainbow after a storm. Three trim levels, but opt for the spiffy Premium version—which was what I drove and is a nice step up from the $37,000 base model. It also costs a lot less than the gutsy GT, which tops $55,000. 

Inside, the Mach-E is like driving a chic lounge on wheels. Toggling through the 15.5-inch touchscreen feels like navigating through the latest TikTok trends. A panoramic glass roof and faux-leather upholstery come standard, but assorted add-ons—standard features with the Premium trim—include hands-free power liftgate, multicolor ambient lighting and 10-speaker Bang & Olufsen stereo. There’s also plenty of space for all the essentials: totes, coats and besties.

And let’s not forget about battery range—there’s enough juice here to take you through a whole day of driving without needing a recharge. With Ford’s fast-charging network, it’s easy to be powered up quicker than you can say, “Ride ‘em, cowboy!” Well, almost.

How popular is this EV, which looks more like a hot hatchback than an SUV? Last year, sales spiked 27% and outsold the iconic gas-powered Mustang. So yes, the Mach-E Premium isn’t just any vehicle—it’s an experience that’s, well, electric.

KIA SPORTAGE PHEV X-LINE PRESTIGE 

$44,000

MPGe: 84 city/highway combined

0 to 60 mph: 7.1 seconds

Cargo space: 39.6 cu. ft. 

PROS: Comfy. Comely cabin. Oodles of passenger room.

CONS: Clunky dual-use dashboard controls. Bit noisy interior. 

IN A NUTSHELL: Next up: the 2025 Kia Sportage PHEV X-Line Prestige, a compact plug-in hybrid that combines style, strength and versatility into one dazzling package. If the Mach-E Premium is a glam EV star, I found the Sportage PHEV to be an SUV showstopper.

Under the hood, power comes from an electric motor and gas-powered backup, so you get the best of both worlds—whether cruising on green energy or unleashing your inner diva. The all-electric range is almost 35 miles, and all-wheel drive is standard—which helps keep things steady, no matter the weather.

Inside, it’s pure comfort. While there are two hybrid trim levels, even the base-model—the X-Line—is fairly loaded: LED headlights/taillights, dual-zone automatic climate control, remote start, power liftgate, nav system, wireless charging pad, smartphone integration and more. 

For my weeklong test vehicle, I was spoiled with the X-Line Prestige, which is full of a ridiculous number of amenities and safety gear. Let’s just say the clever cabin design would make the folks at Ferrari blush. Oh, and thanks to the pristine acoustics from the Harmon Kardon audio, I could have sworn the cast of “Hamilton” was right there with me belting out each tune. “Blow Us All Away,” indeed. 

MERCEDES AMG C 63 S E 

$87,000

MPGe: 40 city/highway combined

0 to 60 mph: 3.3 seconds

Cargo space: 11.6 cu. ft. 

PROS: Snazzy. Lightning fast. Haute handling.

CONS: Pricey. Quirky steering-wheel controls. 

IN A NUTSHELL: Jonesing for an exciting, eco-friendly sedan? Then look no further than the Mercedes AMG C 63 S E plug-in hybrid, which gets the adrenaline pumping each time you slip behind the wheel. 

Under the hood, there’s a staggering 671 horsepower—enough to leave competitors in the dust and make them more than a little jealous. This AMG-tuned Mercedes—the quickest C-Class ever—blasts from 0 to 60 mph in just 3.3 seconds, faster than your heart rate when seeing your next crush at a circuit party. And that’s not even the best part—the shapely contours of this sportster are as chiseled as Luke Evans’ check bones.

Inside, the cockpit is like a designer outfit made for a fab night out—high-quality material everywhere, as well as branded sport seats with top-tier upholstery and stitching. One downside: the steering-wheel controls, which look tasteful but can be a tad too touch-sensitive at times.

Still, this elegant ride exudes more than enough bells and whistles to maintain a constant state of euphoria.

Hi Michael,

I’m in a relationship I think I don’t want to be in.

Ed is very sweet and that’s part of the problem. He is always solicitous of me, caring, kind, agreeable. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, which I certainly would do if I dump him.

We’ve gotten into what is now a serious relationship because of him, not me.  He kept asking me out on one date after another, and I kept saying yes.  He proposed being exclusive, and I said yes.  

I was lonely, Ed’s cute and a nice guy, and it felt good to be cared about. 

Ed is great at planning a fun life. Dinners, vacations, socializing. My life is way more exciting than it used to be.  Ed takes the initiative on everything and he’s very good at it.

But I feel smothered, like I don’t have a say in how I live and what I do. We spend all our time together. And my friends are now “our” friends because he always joins me when I get together with them.

I can’t talk about this with him because I don’t think he can handle it. If he sees the least sign of me being upset, he says, “What’s wrong? Are you mad at me?” with this vulnerable tone in his voice. He’s told me he’s afraid of losing me when I’ve shown any unhappiness. 

I’m no longer attracted to him. I don’t know why, he’s as cute as ever.

Sometimes I wonder what’s wrong with me. I have a good-looking, caring boyfriend. So many guys want this. I should be happy. But I’m not.

On the other hand, I’m afraid that if I break up with Ed I will be lonely all over again and maybe never find such a caring person.

Any guidance you have would be appreciated in how to think about this and sort it out.

Michael replies:

This relationship is giving you all sorts of opportunities to become a more solid person.

First point to consider: If you can’t set boundaries, you will spend your life twisting yourself into a pretzel to accommodate others. That’s what is happening now with Ed. 

When we are struggling to succeed at an important life skill, as you are here, it’s helpful to think how our personal history may be contributing to our being stuck.

Some possibilities for you to consider: What example did your parents model? Perhaps they had trouble setting boundaries in their relationships, so you didn’t learn how to do so. Or perhaps when you were growing up, you didn’t have much say about what you could or couldn’t do, so you didn’t learn you could speak up about what is important to you. 

I’m painting with a broad brush here, just to inspire your own thinking. While our lives aren’t rigidly determined by our pasts, the ways that we learned to relate as we grew up do have a powerful influence on how we live in the present. Having some sense of what has shaped our operating system can help us loosen up and try new ways of behaving.

Second (and related) point: You cannot go through life without ever disappointing anyone or you will (as noted above) start to resemble a pretzel. Yes, you’ll likely upset Ed when you tell him that you’re unhappy in the relationship. But if Ed is going to address his clingy and needy behavior, he needs to hear this.  

At their best, relationships challenge us to grow. This relationship is pushing you to tolerate disappointing someone you care about, in the service of saying what you need to say. And guess what? Your letting Ed know where you stand will challenge him to work on his own relational wobbliness. Very cool.

Third point: Why are you not stepping forward with your own ideas about what you want to do and how you want to live? You are letting Ed do all the work. What is up with that?

One obvious explanation: Your difficulty setting a boundary is stopping you from asserting what you want. In other words, your inability to say “no” is leading you to feel stifled in this relationship. Good news: you have the power to change this.

Another possibility: Maybe you don’t actually have much in the way of interests or ideas for what you would like to do, and Ed is merely filling the void so that the two of you have some kind of life together.

If so, I encourage you to start thinking about what is meaningful to you. Developing a self—figuring out what is important to you, what you care about—is one of the great tasks and great joys of being alive. If you just keep doing what others around you want—boyfriends, friends, family—you may keep feeling resentful and will squander your life.

I don’t know if you would actually enjoy being with Ed if you do the work to become a solid person who speaks up about what is important and brings his own agenda to the relationship. While it’s your decision to do so or not, I urge you not to decide based on fear of stepping outside your comfort zone. 

And please consider that this work would help you in any future relationship, if you end things with Ed.

One more point: It’s no surprise that you’ve lost interest in having sex with Ed. Being enmeshed with someone as tightly as you describe your fusion with Ed is a desire-killer.  Perhaps this would change if you give yourself some room to breathe.

Michael Radkowsky, Psy.D. is a licensed psychologist who works with couples and individuals in D.C. He can be found online at michaelradkowsky.com. All identifying information has been changed for reasons of confidentiality. Have a question? Send it to [email protected].

Not too basic, not too complicated. That’s what I enjoyed most about three spiffy SUVs recently. Call it the Goldilocks effect, but each ride—two Mercedes and a Mini Countryman—seemed just right. That’s a big plus in today’s world of extremes. 

MERCEDES AMG GLA 35

$59,000

MPG: 22 city/28 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.7 seconds

Cargo space: 15.4 cu. ft. 

PROS: Affordable luxury, smooth suspension, zippy.

CONS: Bit noisy inside, so-so storage, costly options.

IN A NUTSHELL: The subcompact GLA—the most affordable Mercedes sold in the U.S.—comes in two trim levels. With the average price of a vehicle topping $48,000, the base-model GLA 250 is a bargain at $43,000. On paper, the stats for acceleration, handling and braking look spot on. Ditto the fine amenities, including faux-leather seats, ambient lighting, wireless charging pad and power liftgate. Toss in numerous safety features—including forward-collision warning, blind-spot alert, an automated parking system—and what could be better? The answer is the sport-tuned AMG GLA 35, which is the vehicle I tested. Zippier, grippier and ritzier than its entry-level sibling, this saucy SUV is also pricier. And beware: The long list of options—such as head-up display, surround-view camera, illuminated door sills—can add up quickly. But oh, what a thrill. Stomp on the accelerator, and the GLA 35 scoots from 0 to 60 mph in just 4.7 seconds—a full two seconds quicker than the GLA 250. Along with a more powerful engine and all-wheel drive, there’s now a 48-volt hybrid-assist system. The GLC 35 also flaunts aggressive styling, including a sexy rear spoiler, large dual exhaust tips and bigger wheels. Fave feature: the flat-bottom, performance-oriented steering wheel with spiffy paddle shifters and a panoply of user-friendly buttons and dials.   

MERCEDES AMG GLC 43 COUPE

$70,000

MPG: 18 city/24 highway

0 to 60 mph: 4.7 seconds

Cargo space: 19.2 cu. ft. 

PROS: Posh styling, potent power, quiet cabin.

CONS: Pricey, limited rear visibility, reduced cargo room.

IN A NUTSHELL: Stepping up from the baby Mercedes GLA, the larger GLC—though technically a compact—is 12 inches longer. What’s more, this hauler comes with choice of five trim levels. And you can choose from either a traditional square-back design or sloped coupe-like styling. Confused? Don’t be. Just trust that the AMG GLC 43 Coupe, which is really an SUV, checks all the boxes. There’s plenty of drama here, with a bulging snout and sinuous shape that any diva would love. There’s also plenty of power, with a gritty turbo that allows the GLC to accelerate just as fast as the much lighter GLA. And the interior is stunning: NASCAR-like bucket seats, gigantic infotainment touchscreen and reinforced window glass to better insulate the cabin. A clever nav system can project traffic and other info onto the head-up display on the windshield, and rear automatic braking helps anticipate and prevent a back-end collision. Sure, the low-slung roofline cuts into rear-seat headroom and cargo space. But for me, the sacrifice was worth it. After all, it’s hard to imagine any other glam-but-gutsy ride equally at home on a fashion runway or at the racetrack. 

MINI COUNTRYMAN ALL4

$40,000

MPG: 24 city/32 highway

0 to 60 mph: 5.9 seconds

Cargo space: 24.9 cu. ft. 

PROS: Bigger, faster, better.

CONS: Almost too big, bit less playful, higher MSRP.

IN A NUTSHELL: Fully redesigned for 2025, the Mini Countryman enjoys a slew of up-market changes but retains some of its retro quirks. Larger than before, this latest model—with so much extra room for passengers and cargo—feels comfy and spacious. Almost too much so. At first blush, I was reminded of a Subaru Forester or Outback. Both fine vehicles, but without that familiar Mini vibe. Luckily, the steering wheel, head-up display and large Frisbee-shaped infotainment display all channel the previous Countryman. Ditto the overall exterior, which now boasts a redesigned grille, sleeker headlights and refined rear treatment. Yet I missed seeing all the toggle switches and some other playful touches. In their place, though, is a groovy dashboard with nifty LED lighting that changes colors based on the driving mode. While some digital readouts initially seemed too techy, they ended up being very user friendly. And there are two standout features: a huge panoramic moonroof and the use of sustainable materials for the carpeting, seats and such.