The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – One cold November night in 2020, I saw Alison Roman’s recipe for this spiced chickpea stew and thought “with all these five-star reviews, it’s gotta be pretty good.” 

My cooking journey began with this stew. Yours can, too. 

1. Heat ¼ cup olive oil in a Dutch oven over medium. Add 1 onion, diced, 4 cloves garlic, smashed, and about 2 tablespoons minced fresh ginger root. Season with salt and pepper and cook for 3-5 minutes
2. Add 1.5 teaspoons ground turmeric, 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes, 2 cans chickpeas, drained and rinsed. Season with salt and pepper. Cook, stirring frequently for 8-10 minutes. Remove 1 cup and set aside for garnish 
3. Crush about half the remaining chickpeas, slightly, with a wooden spoon. Add 2 cups full fat coconut milk, along with 2 cups homemade chicken or vegetable stock. Season with salt and pepper 
4. Bring to a boil and reduce to a simmer, cooking for about 30 minutes or until reduced to your liking 
5. Add 1 bunch Swiss chard, cooking to wilt for another 3 minutes

Divide among bowls and garnish with mint leaves. Serve with crème fraiche and pita bread

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – As I was looking for the recipe featured in this week’s column, I got some interesting results when I mistakenly hit “return” after typing only the first word of my Google search query (“plum”). 

Turns out, in the U.K., a man who speaks with an accent typical of the English upper classes is often said to “have a plum in his mouth”? Of course, here in the States, instead of that we have Hilaria Baldwin. And Meredith Marks in the latest episode of RHOSLC. 

And according to Urban Dictionary, “plum” is also used by Brits to describe the painful constriction of a man’s external genitalia, often with a rubber band, for purposes of performing a sex act that I cannot describe with words that are printable in this news outlet.

Perhaps we should broaden the latter definition to include “putting the squeeze” on someone in a non-sexual manner, as our House Speaker is now experiencing at the hands of his Republican colleagues in the chamber? 

Anyway, for our purposes, the plums we’re talking about are the stone fruits whose abundance and peak ripeness mark the onset of autumn. 

I could not possibly gas up this torte recipe better than the description provided by New York Times Cooking, which I’ve excerpted below:  

The Times published Marian Burros’s recipe for Plum Torte every September from 1983 until 1989, when the editors determined that enough was enough. The recipe was to be printed for the last time that year. “To counter anticipated protests,” Ms. Burros wrote a few years later, “the recipe was printed in larger type than usual with a broken-line border around it to encourage clipping.” It didn’t help. The paper was flooded with angry letters. 

1. Heat oven to 350° F. Grease a 9-inch springform pan (or similarly sized cake pan with high sides) with unsalted butter
2. Halve ~12 ripe plums, cutting slightly off-center to avoid blunting your knife with the pits, and then use a small paring knife to cut them out and discard 
3. Cream a half cup softened unsalted butter together with 1 cup granulated sugar using a stand mixer, a hand-held electric mixer, or by hand with a whisk if you’re a masochist and need to be a hero 
4. Add 1 cup all-purpose flour, 1 teaspoon baking powder, a heaping half teaspoon kosher salt*, and 2 eggs, beating or whisking until well combined 
5. Scrape the batter into your pan. Distribute your plum halves over top, skin side up, and sprinkle with the juice of half a lemon, 1 teaspoon cinnamon, and granulated sugar (roughly a tablespoon, depending on how sweet your plums are)
6. Bake for 1 hour. Top with confectioner’s sugar and serve with ice cream or whipped cream if desired 

*The recipe calls for a pinch, but I firmly believe most desserts make insufficient use of salt and its flavor enhancing properties, including in this case.

Bonus recipe: From Melissa Clark, a fabulous and easy weeknight dinner of roasted chicken thighs with peaches, basil, and ginger. And as I discovered, the dish works as beautifully with plums as it does with peaches. 

Apologies that my husband was not available to take pictures of this one, but you can use your imagination or see what it’s supposed to look like at NYT Cooking:

1. Heat oven to 400°
2. Halve plums (or peaches!), remove their pits, and slice the fruit into quarter to half-inch wedges
3. Arrange or evenly scatter the following on a 9 by 13-inch sheet pan: 1 pound chicken thighs,* seasoned with salt and cut into 1-inch strips; 2-4 cloves garlic, minced or crushed; 1 tablespoons chopped fresh basil, 2-3 tablespoons grated fresh ginger, 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, 2 tablespoons dry sherry or dry vermouth, 1 teaspoon kosher salt, and a half teaspoon black pepper
4. Roast for about 20 minutes
5. Top with an additional 1-2 tablespoons chopped fresh basil and follow Melissa’s advice: “Sauce will be thin, so serve with crusty bread for sopping or over rice.”

*Use boneless skinless thighs, or de-bone them and leave the skin on with the expectation that you’ll have to pour off excess rendered chicken fat that will accumulate after roasting

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – While I rarely balk when presented with a difficult, tedious kitchen task (peeling an especially knobby ginger root or a dozen pearl onions, for instance), I have tried making pasta by hand and simply do not have the patience. 

Finally, I bit the bullet and bought myself a Philips pasta and noodle maker. $300 well spent*

I agonized over how to use this powerful new tool in my column. Should I do one of the four pastas of Rome? Or an Asian dish like ramen? Dumpling wrappers? The possibilities are practically limitless. 

My maiden voyage with homemade pasta, however, had to start with Marcella Hazan. Often called the Italian Julia Child, she was a master of her craft who once said she would never do a cookbook because she did not want to write in English. x

Luckily for all of us, someone offered to translate her work. Luckily for me, New York Times Cooking had my back with her Bolognese sauce. 

I’m not going to detail the pasta-making process because unless you have a Philips machine your measurements will be different. 

Cook store bought noodles according to package instructions until al dente. Just know homemade would be so much better. And yes, I will be obnoxious about using only fresh pasta moving forward. Sorry about it, this is my personality. 

1. Heat 1 tablespoon vegetable oil and 3 tablespoons unsalted butter. Cook a half cup diced onion and two-thirds cup each diced carrot and celery. Season with salt** and pepper
2. Add a half pound ground beef and quarter pound ground pork, browning the meat. Season with salt and pepper 
3. Add 1 cup whole milk and an eighth teaspoon ground nutmeg
4. Add 1 cup dry white wine and allow to simmer until evaporated (until it no longer smells boozy)
5. Add 1.5 cups canned whole peeled tomatoes
6. Marcella says: “When the tomatoes begin to bubble, turn the heat down so that the sauce cooks at the laziest of simmers, with just an intermittent bubble breaking through to the surface. Cook, uncovered, for 3 hours or more, stirring from time to time.”
7. Taste and adjust seasoning
8. Serve with grated parmesan, fresh parsley, a drizzle of olive oil, red pepper flakes 

*With the volume of carbs I consume, I expect to recoup the cost savings over dried supermarket pasta within a year. 

**Diamond Crystal kosher salt. Always and forever. I’m just tired of specifying.

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – I love a loaf cake. Equally welcome after dinner or first thing in the morning, this olive oil version by Melissa Clark is top-notch. 

To begin with, it’s easy. 

Plus, you’re using the zest and the flesh of the fruit, which is amazing because I can’t tell you how often I’ve taken the microplane to a lemon, lime, or orange only to throw out the shriveled up, dried out carcass a week later. 

Clark uses blood oranges (which would be fabulous here) and all-purpose flour. My fruit vendor at Eastern Market was fresh out, but his cara caras worked perfectly for me. I used cake flour because I had it on hand. 

1. Preheat oven to 350° F and grease a 9 by 5” loaf pan with butter 
2. In a medium sized bowl, zest two oranges and use your hands to work it into a cup of granulated white sugar 
3. Supreme the oranges (cut off the tops and bottoms, using a sharp knife to cut away the pith following the curve of the fruit). Cut flesh out of connective membranes and into chunks about a fourth to a half-inch in diameter. Set aside
4. Halve another orange and juice it into a measuring cup until you have a fourth cup. Add buttermilk until you have two-thirds cup. Pour into sugar mixture and whisk to combine. Whisk in three large eggs
5. In a large bowl, whisk together one and three-fourths cups cake flour (or all-purpose), one and a half teaspoons baking powder, a fourth teaspoon baking soda, and a half teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt
6. Combine wet and dry ingredients. Using a spatula, gently fold in two-thirds cup extra-virgin olive oil. Fold in orange pieces until mixture is well combined
7. Scrape batter into loaf pan and cook for 55 minutes, tenting with foil if the top gets too brown 

Serve with honey-orange compote (two oranges supremed and cut as in step 3 & two tablespoons honey, stirred together)

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – After enjoying a wonderful and rather boozy weekend entertaining an old friend from New York, I returned home this evening in search of a nightcap. My heart is full, and it’s one of those muggy later summer nights in which an ice-cold martini just felt appropriate. 

In my youth, back when my friend and I first met, I lacked the self-control to abide that old maxim that, like breasts, one is too few and three too many. I couldn’t see it then, but I lacked the elan at 25 to order anything other than a well drink. 

Making a vodka martini in my own home tonight felt…sophisticated. And with the proper stemware, along with fresh ginger and lemon, I had the makings for a cocktail that represents the platonic ideal of where I am now in life.

1. In a highball glass, combine 3 ounces ice-cold vodka, ½ ounce dry vermouth, and a handful of ice. Stir and allow to chill for 30 seconds or so
2. Strain into a martini glass 
3. Peel a knob of fresh ginger root and grate into the glass to taste. Use a sharp paring knife to peel a ½ to 1-inch strip of lemon for garnish, careful to avoid the bitter white pith

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – My vegetable and herb gardens are not exactly thriving these days. The fault lies not with the plants but with my failure to spend enough time and attention caring for them.

The good news is my tomato plant, which had long looked like it was on the verge of certain death, made a sudden, dramatic recovery last week and delivered a bounty of the best Sun Golds I have ever tasted. 

When this happens to you, or when you can smell the tomatoes in your farmer’s market or grocery store from an arm’s length away because they have reached that elusive state of peak ripeness, you are obliged to act. 

Jump on the opportunity like you’ve found a dom top who can host and is free to meet up now. Or pass up the opportunity at your own peril, because while you may have a second chance tomorrow, it might be another 9 months before god showers you with his blessings again. (That last part really applies more to tomatoes. It’s mid-August, after all, which really means we’re on borrowed time.) 

Whatever you make with them should be simple and decidedly tomato-forward. Treat them like the gifts that they are (unlike the plants that are now languishing in my backyard because I’ve neglected them). 

A very simple tomato salad 

1. Halve one pound top-tier first-rate five-star cherry tomatoes (or core and then chop larger tomatoes into bite-sized pieces)*
2. In a medium bowl, stir together one tablespoon high-quality extra-virgin olive oil and 1.5 tablespoons vinegar – sherry, red wine, or champagne vinegar will work well here – and toss with the tomatoes  
3. Season to taste with Diamond Crystal kosher salt (be relatively conservative because you’ll be finishing with flaky sea salt)
4. Top with a mild allium – chives, scallions, ramps – along with flaky sea salt 

*Tip: If using cherry tomatoes, don’t do as I did here and cut straight down on a 90-degree angle from the portion of the fruit that was once connected to the stem of the plant facing upward. Instead, slice on a slight bias, and you’ll be left with more visually appealing halves (because the whitish part will not be visible).

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – The recipe was adapted from The Woks of Life, with my signature method of cooking rice and enough changes that I feel comfortable calling it my own. 

It’s pork fried rice (Chris’s version). 

Pro tip: The next time you make rice, replace half the water with full-fat coconut milk. 

Pro tip #2: Add 1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt and 1 teaspoon MSG per cup of dried rice. 

Pro tip #3: Cook until the rice sticks to the bottom of your pot and browns a little. 

Pro tip #4: Make enough so your leftovers can be transformed into the dish below. 

1. Scramble and cook 2 eggs and set aside
2. In a small-medium bowl, combine 1 tablespoon hot water, 1 teaspoon honey, 1 teaspoon sesame oil, 1 teaspoon Shaoxing wine, 1 tablespoon soy sauce, 1 teaspoon dark soy sauce, and ¼ teaspoon white pepper
3. Fluff 5 cups cooked Jasmine rice until no clumps remain (doesn’t necessarily have to be the coconut version above, but if you want to make Chris’s version…) 
4. Heat a wok or high-sided pan over medium, add 1 tablespoon neutral oil, and cook 1 medium–large onion, diced, until translucent and softened
5. Add 1 pound ground pork. Use a hamburger press or medium saucepan to smush the meat onto the bottom of your wok. When browned and slightly crispy on one side, flip to cook until browed throughout  
6. Add your cooked rice until heated through, and then add your sauce mixture along with 1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt
7. Toss in your scrambled eggs, along with chopped scallions, and serve garnished with more scallions, sesame oil, cilantro, and sesame seeds**

**Feel free to also add bean sprouts, peas, diced carrots…

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – Last night I was overserved…in my own home, if you can believe it! 

There are times when even *I* don’t feel like cooking. So, when we had friends over on Saturday, we ordered pizza and I made a batch of these. 

Joke’s on me because I’m hosting again tonight and now I need to drag my hungover ass to Eastern Market for tomatoes. 

Recipe adapted from Rebekah Peppler’s frozen Tom Collins via NYT Cooking. (I used tequila only because that’s what I had on hand.) 

1. Combine 8 ounces tequila with 6 ounces freshly squeezed lemon juice and 4 ounces simple syrup
2. Cover container and chill in the refrigerator for at least 4 hours 
3. Blend with 5-6 cups ice 
4. Serve garnished with maraschino cherries and their red syrup 

By the way, how cool are these lowball glasses? You can buy them here.

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – Last week, the government told us they had recovered biological material of non-human origin from unidentified anomalous phenomena, f.k.a. UFOs. 

And we…mostly didn’t care. 

Perhaps it’s partly because we must concern ourselves with people like RFK Jr. who belong in the ash heap of history but instead are making their conspiracy theories our collective problem. 

Or maybe it’s the weather. 

For any extraterrestrials reading, don’t bother with any close encounters unless it’s to beam us away from this boiling rock. Not all of us, though. Let the politicians who deny climate change stay on the planet they helped ruin. 

Today I’m making raspberry lavender clafoutis, served à la mode bien sûr!

Raspberries are in season from June to August, one of the only good things about the midsummer heat. So pick (or pick up) a few cups, preheat the oven (I know, I’m sorry), and let’s get started. 

Recipe adapted from Melissa Clark’s “Dinner in French: My Recipes by Way of France”

1. Butter a 9” cake pan or similarly sized baking dish of your choosing and preheat oven to 375° F
2. Toss 3 cups raspberries in a bowl with 1 tablespoon granulated white sugar
3. In a food processor, blend ½ cup granulated white sugar with 1.5 teaspoons lavender buds for about 2 minutes 
4. Add ½ cup whole milk, ½ cup crème fraiche, 4 eggs, and a pinch of Diamond Crystal kosher salt, pulsing until combined
5. Add a third cup all purpose flour, pulsing until just combined
6. Scatter your sugary berries on the bottom of your baking dish and pour the egg mixture on top
7. Bake for about 30 minutes
8. Allow to cool for about 15 minutes, and serve with ice cream

The LA Blade’s intrepid Washington D.C.-based White House correspondent snarks his way through another delicious weekly recipe while dishing tea on other subjects

WASHINGTON – “Our ‘Best Gazpacho,’” Julia Moskin proclaimed last month in The New York Times, “Is a Five-Star Reader Favorite to Sip All Summer.”

When it comes to food, the Times has never steered me wrong. Everyone who cooks or bakes should subscribe to NYT Cooking. 

1. Blend the following until smooth: two pounds vine ripened tomatoes, cored and quartered; one cubanelle pepper (or long green pepper, I used an Anaheim), cored, seeded, and cut into chunks; one cucumber, about eight inches, peeled and cut into chunks; one small mild onion (white or red), peeled and roughly cut into chunks; and one clove garlic
2. While blending, add: two teaspoons sherry vinegar, two teaspoons Diamond Crystal kosher salt, and a half cup extra virgin olive oil (drizzling the oil slowly to create an emulsion)
3. Strain, discarding the solids. Transfer to a pitcher and refrigerate until very cold, at least six hours
4. Serve, tasting for seasoning to add more salt or vinegar if necessary. Drizzle with more olive oil and (this was my twist) microgreens