a&e features
2018 Best of Gay LA Awards
All of your favorites, from bartenders to activists and more
Best of Gay LA
Welcome to the inaugural Best Of Gay LA Awards presented by the Los Angeles Blade. There were hundreds of nominations in 25 categories and thousands of votes. Here we present your picks for the best LA has to offer along with editors’ choices in most categories.
LOCAL HERO: JON DAVIDSON
Jon Davidson (Photo courtesy of Davidson)
Jon Davidson has been fighting for the rights of the underdog for most of his adult life.
An attorney focused on the LGBTQ community and people living with HIV, virtually since graduating from Yale Law School in 1979, Davidson has fought and won some of the most important cases facing LGBT Americans. But, as he says, ultimately it’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the long game.
“What I’ve learned is that one of the realities of doing the LGBT rights litigation that I’ve spent most of my career doing, is that sometimes you can lose the case, but still win. Because those sorts of cases end up educating people about the things that are wrong,” Davidson told the Los Angeles Blade.
He became interested in politics in high school, around the time of Stonewall. He was boycotting grapes and lettuce in support of California farm workers and he protested the Vietnam War. He says he was excited about political change. He started taking cases pro bono.
His first big case was no small potatoes. He sued the city of Los Angeles on behalf of homeless people. Not long after, he says, in 1985 a lot of his friends started to get sick. He started looking for a way he could help.
Davidson teamed up with attorney and activist Susan McGreevy, who was at the ACLU at the time. She enlisted his help in writing the first brief to the U.S. Supreme Court about AIDS. It was about whether people with contagious diseases could be considered disabled and protected against discrimination under a law called the Rehabilitation Act of 1973. The goal was to convince the courts that AIDS was a disabling condition.
“At the time, the Reagan administration was arguing that contagious diseases couldn’t be considered disabilities because that would mean that people with AIDS would be protected from discrimination,” Davidson says.
Another local case got a lot of attention when Davidson was working with a gay rights organization that no longer exists, on behalf of a man threatened with eviction for hanging a gay Pride flag off his apartment’s balcony. The building’s argument was that people would think it was a “gay building.” Davidson argued that people put American flags on their balconies, so why not a Pride flag?
Davidson left private practice in 1988 to work for the ACLA of Southern California. He was there for eight years, and then joined Lambda Legal, where he worked for more than 20 years.
It was Davidson’s work on a case against the Boy Scouts of America that brought much national acclaim. He was the lead lawyer on the Curran v. Mount Diablo Council of the Boy Scouts of America, a case that went to California Supreme Court. He lost the case, but it was part of the fight to get people to understand that the Boy Scouts were engaging in discrimination.
Davidson also helped out on the Dale case, in which the U.S. Supreme Court held that the constitutional right to freedom of association allows a private organization like the Boy Scouts, to exclude a person from membership when “the presence of that person affects in a significant way the group’s ability to advocate public or private viewpoints.” In a 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court ruled that opposition to homosexuality is part of BSA’s “expressive message” and that allowing homosexuals as adult leaders would interfere with that message. It reversed a decision of the New Jersey Supreme Court, which had determined that New Jersey’s public accommodations law required the BSA to readmit James Dale, who the BSA expelled after Dale went public about being gay.
Davidson says despite losing those cases, the suits against the Boy Scouts outed the organization as discriminatory and ultimately led to a lot of pressure on them to change their position – both social and financial pressure.
“I used to joke that I’ve spent the bulk of my career fighting for LGBT people to serve in the military, get into the Boy Scouts, serve in the Los Angeles Police Department, and to get married, but I didn’t want to do any of those things. But those are four of the most conservative institutions we have in this country and they all in many ways epitomize being an American citizen,” Davidson says.
He and his longtime partner celebrated their 13th anniversary this year, which they count from the time they moved in together.
“I believe that an attack on any member of this nation or the world is an attack on all of us. But I decided more than 30 years ago I wanted to put my professional energies into and work on behalf of my community, which I define as the LGBT community and those living with HIV. That’s what spoke to me and where I felt there was a need,” he says. But, he adds, “A big part of the battle is also to remember that our community also includes several other groups who’ve been targets of the Trump administration – poor people, people of color, Muslims, people from other countries, you name it – it’s frightening. Our community needs to address the fact that many of the gains we made didn’t really help those most marginalized in our community.” (REBEKAH SAGER)
BEST BARTENDER: ANTHONY SALDANA
Anthony Saldana (Photo by Brett Saari Photography)
He prefers to be called a bartender rather than a mixologist, but Anthony Saldana is Micky’s top man behind the bar.
“We are more fine-tuned for speed and agility than mixing fancy drinks, because it’s always so busy,” Saldana told the Los Angeles Blade.
Born and raised in Ontario, in the inland empire, Saldana has lived in LA for the last 10 years, and worked at Micky’s for most of that time.
His first job after finishing UC Riverside was at Target as an executive manager. He says he was making $70,000 but on his first visit to Weho, a friend came running out of Micky’s with his shirt off, and told him they were hiring.
“I went in and spoke with the manager, who tore my shirt off in the office. He takes one look at me, and says I can start Monday. I told him about my Target gig and what I was making. He laughed at me and said I’d make double that,” he says.
Saldana waxes poetic about the days before the straight crowd discovered Weho.
He explains that straight guys come in to hit on drunk girls, but they don’t drink as much.
Trained using YouTube videos, this is the fourth year he’s won a Best Bartender title. In 2013, Grindr awarded him Best Bartender. He was flown to Vegas to receive the award.
“I don’t know why I keep winning, because I’m kind of an asshole,” he admits sheepishly. He adds, “If you come into my bar, and you act shitty I’m going to call you out on it. I’m very protective of my customers. I’ve jumped over the bar and thrown people out. I take shots with all of my customers. They literally love it.”
Saldana left home at 17 to “do his own thing.”
Now fairly distant from his family he says people don’t get to choose to be born into a family. “I want to choose who I love. I don’t want to be forced to love people I don’t even get along with. I travel a lot, and I take my friends wherever I go.”
His family found out about his being gay via social media. He almost married a girl. He has some complicated views on being gay, and says he gets pretty deep with customers about them all the time.
“I was born a straight man. I was in love with this female, it wasn’t until my sophomore year I had my first gay experience. I think as a child something very small could alter your thought process. I feel like the gay community always says ‘oh, you’re born gay,’ but if 10 percent of the community is born different than the other 90 percent, then that would make it a disability. I would hate to think that being gay is a disability. Personally I don’t want to be thought of as born gay… But, I’m gay now.
“I definitely appreciate a beautiful female though… and have this girl Natalie in my life that I call my wife. We’re inseparable and we do everything together, and I swear she would get married in a heartbeat, but sexually I just can’t do it. I associate with being gay,” Saldano says.
Single and dating, he has a staunch rule about never dating customers. He’s pressured a lot by men, and says he’s had to tell people he’s straight because it’s easier than telling men he’s not interested.
Despite turning a few guys away, Salgado gets gifts — lots of them. At Christmas he received a Cartier love band worth $10,000. “I mentioned that I’d always wanted one, and the next thing you know it’s getting screwed on my wrist,” he says. He’s been given a Mercedes, taken on trips, and even had someone give him money for his sick father.
“I mean people will give 10 to 20 percent to a church, whereas in the gay community they’ll give 20, 30 or 40 percent to the bars,” he says.
Although he’s known by the tattoo inked on his flat stomach, complete with washboard abs, the days of bartending shirtless are over.
A gym rat, Saldano says to keep his liver from completely failing, he only does shots of tequila, and his favorite is Don Julio anejo – always with a slice of orange. (REBEKAH SAGER)
MICKY’S
8857 Santa Monica Blvd.
310-657-1176
BEST BARTENDER, EDITORS’ CHOICE: CORY ZWIERZYNSKI
Cory Zwierzynski (Photo courtesy of Zwierzynski)
Bartender and star of “What Happens at The Abbey,” Cory Zwierzynski is the editors’ pick for Best Bartender. For nearly 25 years, The Abbey has dominated gay nightlife in West Hollywood. And Cory is almost as famous, thanks to his starring role on “What Happens at The Abbey.”
“When you start working at The Abbey,” Corey told the Los Angeles Blade, “it’s like joining a big family. We don’t just work together; we have a good time together. We have so many regulars at The Abbey that they are all part of the family too.”
Corey’s favorite moment at The Abbey so far? “People dancing to Diana Ross’ music on the dance floor with Diana Ross. It doesn’t get more memorable than that.”
THE ABBEY
692 N Robertson Blvd.
310-289-8410
BEST DJ: STEVE AOKI
Steve Aoki (Photo courtesy of Aoki)
Steven Hiroyuki (Aoki) is one of the world’s most influential DJs. He certainly has the whole EDM circuit world jumping at venues around the world. But he’s really just an ordinary guy who grew up Newport Beach and attended USCB.
He holds degrees in feminist studies and sociology. But while in college, a spark captured his imagination when he produced a do-it-yourself record and began running underground concerts at Isla Vista, a section of residential land adjacent to UCSB. The venue became known as The Pickle Patch and it changed Aoki’s life.
In his early 20s, Aoki built his own record label, which he named Dim Mak – a reference to his childhood hero, Bruce Lee.
Aoki has won and been nominated for a number of industry awards, both in annual competitions and in magazine rankings. In 2007, he was named Best Party Rocker DJ by BPM Magazine, Best DJ of the Year by Paper Magazine, and Best Set of the Season at the Ibiza Awards. Several years later, in 2012, he was named #15 in the Top 100 DJs in DJ Magazine, and was named America’s #2 Best DJ. Also in 2012, he won an
EDM Effect Woodie Award by MTVu, and the following year he was nominated for his first Grammy.
In 2014, Aoki was awarded two Guinness World Records, one for the “longest crowd cheer,” and also for the “most amount of glow sticks for thirty seconds.” Aoki performed at the 2015 Ultra Music Festival in Miami Beach on May 21. He also earned the Guinness record for “most traveled musician in one year,” with 161 shows in 41 countries in 2014.
To say he has been successful is an understatement.
He is the founder of the Steve Aoki Charitable Fund, which raises money for global humanitarian relief organizations and medical research. In 2015, he was named Global Ambassador for the Best Buddies program, a non-profit devoted to young people with developmental and intellectual disabilities. Learn more at steveaoki.com
BEST DJ, EDITORS’ CHOICE: SHANE IVAN NASH
Shane Ivan Nash (Photo courtesy of Nash)
As a transgender activist and talented musician, Nash has consistently shared his story and his music, helping to inspire others. When asked what he loves most about DJing, Nash said, “Your profession requires you to party, dance and create a collected consciousness. The nightlife is the release from life—we’re all on the same beat, in the same moment.”
Of his work with the LGBT community, Nash said, “I’ve helped countless people in the community start their endeavors including Trans Chorus LA and as a board member for LA Pride, I fought for the trans representation.” Learn more at ShaneIvanNash.com.
BEST CHEF: STUART O’KEEFFE
If you haven’t heard of chef Stuart O’Keeffe, then you clearly haven’t been invited to the right A-list Hollywood dinner parties.
A small town Irish hottie, who now lives in West Hollywood, O’Keeffe made a name for himself on the Food Network’s “Private Chefs of Beverly Hills.”
“I was always obsessed with America and always wanted to be on TV,” O’Keeffe told the Los Angeles Blade.
His first gig in the U.S. after culinary school in Ireland was in Napa Valley working at Meadowood Napa Valley. But restaurants didn’t suit him. He says he didn’t like the way people were treated.
“I knew I was destined to do what I wanted without the stress. I thought there must be another way, and I kind of started doing dinner parties in my apartment for friends, and they’d tell people about them. I was also working as an executive assistant, and started getting hired for private parties.
O’Keeffe can’t talk a lot about who he works for, but will mention a few celebs he says have “eaten at his tables” – stars such as Sharon Stone, Jennifer Aniston, Justine Bateman, Harrison Ford, Cindy Crawford, Jane Fonda and Christina Aguilera.
O’Keeffe has been at his job long enough and has become well known enough that he doesn’t suffer fools and although his clients tend to be high-maintenance, he lives to cook for others.
“I want people to be nice. I’m not going to bow down to people. I’m well equipped to do this. I won’t stand for people being rude. I’m fair. I mean, how much do you value yourself really,” he says.
So, why do celebs keep calling him back? He says straight up, it’s the way he looks. “I’m a cute guy from Ireland. A lot of women, I overhear them asking if I’m straight or gay. It can be funny in a really sweet way,” O’Keeffe says laughing.
He’s currently single and dating. He likes to meet guys through friends or at a bar. He says his favorites are the Abbey, Revolver and Chapel. He meets people through friends mostly, and doesn’t do the app thing. He says he’s tried it, but it’s not personal enough and he’s too old school.
O’Keeffe says the “power gays” don’t hire him much.
“They have their set people they use… I think people think that I don’t do this anymore because I do so much TV, or because they think I’m above it. But, if I have time in my schedule, I’ll do it. I don’t really turn down things. I like to keep busy. I’d like to do more things,” O’Keeffe says.
His goal is to have his own TV show on the Food Network. He has another cookbook coming out later this year, and he wants to open a restaurant in the next year or two.
He envisions a show where he can travel around the U.S. — a kind of Irish guy fish out of water. He says he loves rural America, and thinks the people are funny and sweet. They remind him of the small town he grew up in — Nenagh, not far from Limerick.
He says Irish food is different than people think. “We have some of the best meat and fish in the world where we are,” he says.
His signature dishes are chicken cacciatore, short ribs, individual baked Alaska, and a killer flourless cake – “Jennifer Aniston told me my cake was good, so it must be badass.”
For a guy that makes his living off people who don’t cook for themselves, O’Keeffe believes a major problem with Americans in general is that they don’t cook at home enough.
“People need to get back in the kitchen and start cooking. There’s so much joy in that. And it’s healthier,” he says. He adds though that he actually hates to shop. “One of the most annoying thing about cooking is going to the store and shopping for the ingredients. I tell people to go shopping one day, and cook the next day. Cooking can be stressful if you don’t know how to do it.”
When O’Keeffe isn’t cooking for actors and Hollywood executives, you can find him on Mondays at the farmer’s market, on Gardner and Fountain streets, or at his local Whole Foods.
He lists Jar, Rossoblu, and Cecconi’s as his favorite restaurants in LA.
As for his TV aspirations that dream has certainly come true, if you count Food Network, “Stuart’s Kitchen” which aired in Ireland and New Zealand, appearances on Marie, CBS’s “The Talk,” “The Home and Family Show,” and Republic of Telly and Asiana Airlines featured Stuart in its national “Fly with Color” campaign.
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST CHEF: SUZANNE TRACT
Suzanne Tracht (Photo courtesy Tracht)
Chef and owner of the critically acclaimed Jar Restaurant, Suzanne Tracht has won international praise for her culinary adventures at Jar. Her countless appearances on the “Today” show, Food Network, and Extra, as well as her multiple awards led her to be inducted into the Fine Dining Hall of Fame and participating in Fortune magazine’s Most Powerful Women Summit.
“Relating to people and making them feel warm and welcome isn’t hard and you can do it in many ways, which is why I cook,” Tracht said. “I like feeding people and making them happy.”
JAR
8225 Beverly Blvd.
323-655-6566
BEST BUSINESSPERSON: BRAD LAMM, BREATHE LIFE HEALING CENTER
Brad Lamm (Photo courtesy of Lamm)
Fifteen years ago Brad Lamm was a self-proclaimed total mess. He was bulimic. He smoked two packs of cigarettes a day. He was an alcoholic, addicted to meth, and he supplemented all of this by taking Xanax. In 2002, he got clean.
Lamm’s journey to help others grew into an empire with two treatment centers that have helped numerous people in the LGBTQ community get clean and sober.
“I knew I was gay at 5 years old,” he says. “When I took my first drink at 15, I was deliciously soothed. By the time my first partner died in 1989, I was 19 years old and convinced not only was I going to die, but we were all going to die.”
He added, “We were part of this sad infected class with no upside… Gay men in my generation, pre-HIV cocktail, it was more than a death sentence, it was a shame sentence. It was a downward spiral. It was a grizzly and gruesome death. And I’d already been cast out of my family.”
ACT UP became Lamm’s upside. Although he was still getting high at the time, he fell into a clan he calls “purposeful,” working to make progress and trying to save his life.
“I found a place for my rage, but I thought I was going to die from alcohol and drugs, so when I didn’t, it was an amazing ‘ah-ha’ coupled with helping others, and it was all congruous with my trauma survival and being a gay man,” Lamm says.
It was in Lamm’s search for what to do with his life after getting clean that he found doctor Dr. Judith Landau, a South African psychiatrist focused on “invitational intervention,” a trauma-informed approach to helping families help their families.
“Essentially you invite your family to an intervention and the work starts from there. It suited me and it coincided with enormous energy I had around, never thinking I’d stop this litany of things that were killing me,” he says.
Lamm’s entre into the work Landau was doing eventually led to starting an intervention practice himself in New York, 13 years ago, and it really took off thanks to contacts he’d made in his former life as a TV weatherman.
“Some of the same skills I had as a journalist and some of the people I grew up in that industry with were now in TV running shows, and they knew about my remarkable turnaround.
“The ‘Today’ show said come and do a show on recovery, and Oprah said come and do a docu-series on food and that became “Addicted to Food,” an eight-part series produced for her. Then Dr. Oz said come help launch the show. And I did like 30 stories. That was the rocket fuel to this mission of helping my recovery community and their families reduce its suffering,” Lamm says.
Five years ago, Lamm opened a trauma-informed treatment center that would accept health insurance, Breathe Life Healing Center in Los Angeles.
“Meth and alcohol was my struggle, drug and hurt, so to see treatment in my community is powerful,” he says.
He and Scott Sanders, a Tony, Grammy and Emmy winning television, film and theater producer (Sanders produced the musical “The Color Purple” for Broadway), were married and it was the first gay wedding Oprah attended.
He says he sees so much of himself in the Celie character from “The Color Purple.”
“You’re at the end of the rope and you’re so beaten down, and then all of a sudden instead of cutting Mister’s throat, you choose grace and find your way. And part of that is forgiveness. But forgiveness doesn’t mean I need to live up to anyone’s version of who I need to be,” Lamm says.
Lamm says the headline of his life continues to be defined by something famed author, Alice Walker said to him 13 years ago.
“She told me that ‘the power of you is not your story, but that you’re a ‘bodhisattva.’ I was like, what’s that? She told me to go and look it up. It means, the one who goes into the lake of fire to help another out. That’s the beauty of every person to help another. The very wreckage of my past becomes the crown jewel of my ability to help another,” Lamm says.
BREATHE LIFE HEALING CENTER
8730 Sunset Blvd.
800-929-5904
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST LGBT BUSINESSPERSON: OLIVER ALPUCHE, REDLINE
Oliver Alpuche (Photo courtesy of Alpuche)
When asked what inspired the business venture that led to the opening of this premier gay bar in DTLA, Oliver Alpuche said, “I’ve lived downtown for eight years and noticed that the LGBTQ community was growing, but we had nowhere to go and meet each other. Downtown deserves a dedicated queer space 365 days a year.”
That paved the way for the DTLA Proud Festival, which Oliver created. “DLTA Proud is committed to celebrating everyone’s story, to spreading optimism, to growing our community and to expanding our definition of diversity,” he said. “I love Los Angeles because of how diverse it is.”
REDLINE
131 E 6th St.
BEST LAWYER: S. CHRISTOPHER WINTER
S. Christopher ‘Kit’ Winter (Photo courtesy of Winter)
S. Christopher (“Kit”) Winter didn’t always want to be a lawyer.
“I wasn’t one of those kids who had a clear idea of what I wanted to be when I grew up,” he said. “I could envision myself doing a lot of different things. It all seemed interesting.” That curiosity is reflected in his varied career in New York between graduating from Yale in 1987 and starting law school at UCLA in 1994. “I had a little bit of career ADD after college,” Winter said. “I worked in advertising sales, graphic design, desktop publishing – and I always had a side gig.”
Those side gigs included promoting parties at Limelight, Sound Factory and other New York nightclubs featuring DJs such as Frankie Knuckles, Little Louie Vega, and Junior Vasquez; bartending at various restaurants in the West Village and Chelsea; and working catering jobs for clients including Madonna.
“I think people were surprised when I decided to go to law school,” Winter laughs. “It wasn’t something that you would have necessarily thought was in my future.”
Surprising or not, Winter excelled at law school, graduating UCLA law in 1997 in the top 10 percent of his class and winning numerous academic honors. For more than two decades since then, Winter has been practicing law in Los Angeles, in settings ranging from large national law firms to his current solo practice.
“I don’t believe in fighting for the sake of fighting,” Winter says about his philosophy. “My goal as a lawyer is to help my clients navigate their legal challenges as quickly and affordably as possible.”
Winter’s practice is focused on serving as outside general counsel to small-to-medium sized companies, encouraging his clients to take a proactive approach to avoiding legal problems and crafting effective strategies to address problems. His legal background includes experience in litigation, intellectual property and general business law, and he has authored portions of treatises relating to privacy law and technology transactions.
Winter doesn’t specifically target his practice to the LGBT community, although he says he represents a diverse group of clients.
“I’m a ‘gay lawyer’ because I’m gay and I’m a lawyer,” he jokes. “I’ve been out of the closet since I was a teenager.”
Indeed, Winter has a long history of LGBT activism extending back more than 30 years. As an undergraduate at Yale, he was the co-chair of the Gay & Lesbian Co-op (with the late Sarah Pettit, a founding editor of OUT magazine), and part of a group of students who successfully lobbied the Yale Corporation to include “sexual orientation” in the university’s non-discrimination policy in 1986.
“I was sort of a big gay on campus,” Winter recalls, “writing op-eds in the Yale Daily News, arranging protests, that kind of thing.” Asked whether he contributed to the environment that led the Wall Street Journal to label Yale the “Gay Ivy” in 1987, Winter laughs, “I’d like to think so. I definitely left Yale a gayer place than I found it.”
Winter moved to New York City in 1987, in the middle of the AIDS crisis and shortly after the founding of ACT UP. “It was a terrifying time,” Winter says. “While my straight friends from college were starting their careers or heading to graduate school, gay men were trying to survive an apocalypse.”
Winter became involved in ACT UP and found a home in gay publishing, working first at the New York Native, New York’s gay newspaper, and later serving as the founding advertising director of Outweek magazine.
He later served as the production manager of QW, a gay newsweekly (Troy Masters, Los Angeles Blade publisher was a founder and publisher of QW) for which he also briefly penned the advice column under the moniker “Queer Abby.” “I don’t think we thought much about trademark law back then,” Winter laughs. After working as a freelance desktop publisher at various Conde Nast titles including Mademoiselle, Allure, and Details, Winter decided to pursue the challenge of a career in law, and hasn’t looked back since.
“I love being a lawyer,” Winter says. “Legal issues can be overwhelming to people, and can be fatal to businesses. Helping my clients get through that successfully is very rewarding.”
Winter is married to Patrick Jensen, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. They live in Silver Lake and have two dogs and two cats.
This year will mark Winter’s fourth time riding in AIDS/Lifecycle to raise money for the Los Angeles LGBT Center.
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST LAWYER: LAURA W. BRILL, KENDALL BRILL & KELLY LLP
Laura W. Brill (Photo courtesy of Brill)
A lifetime focus on cases that promote equal rights, make Laura Brill a force in the fight against discrimination.
“One of my briefs in the early 1990s argued in the case of Lawrence v. Texas (a challenge to a state anti-sodomy statute) that discrimination based on sexual orientation was a type of sex discrimination and that the statute should be ruled unconstitutional on that basis. That same argument has been made many times over the years…this theory is now gaining recognition by courts and administrative agencies, including most prominently, in cases relating to employment discrimination.”
In the case Colin v. Orange Unified School District, Brill helped pave the way for Gay Straight Alliances. Brill discussed this significant moment: “We got the first preliminary injunction requiring the school to allow the club to meet and use school facilities just like any other club. One of my favorite moments since then has been going to gay Pride events more recently and seeing the huge numbers of wonderful high school students marching with their Gay Straight Alliance banners. I’m so happy to have had a part in helping kids have a safe environment at schools.”
“My New Year’s resolution is to do all I can to increase voter registration rates, especially among young people and especially in the LGBTQ community. Many people don’t know that young people can pre-register to vote when they are 16 or 17. Then when they turn 18 they will be automatically registered to vote,” Brill said. “Most people don’t know about pre-registration, but we need everyone registered so we can make sure government policies reflect our priorities, instead of the opposite.”
Kendall Brill & Kelly LLP
10100 Santa Monica Blvd
310-556-2700
BEST ALLY: MAYOR ERIC GARCETTI
LA Mayor Eric Garcetti in his office (Photo by Karen Ocamb)
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST ALLY: LISA VANDERPUMP
Lisa Vanderpump (Photo by Toglenn; courtesy Wikimedia Commons)
As an entrepreneur, avid activist, author, television personality, and restaurant owner of LA staples such as Pump and SUR, Lisa Vanderpump is an LA icon. She has consistently stood up for the LGBT community, having worked as a spokesperson for GLAAD, led the AIDS Walk Los Angeles, served as grand marshal of 2017 Long Beach Pride, worked with Desert AIDS Project, The Trevor Project, the LA Gay & Lesbian Center and more.
In addition to advocating for the LGBT community, Vanderpump created The Vanderpump Dog Foundation, working to help end animal abuse. She somehow also found time to produce “Vanderpump Rules,” the smash reality TV show. She’s the ultimate philanthropist who really does it all. Vanderpump has a love for all living creatures that shines through in her humanitarian efforts, making her a model ally.
BEST DRAG SHOW: LEGENDARY BINGO AT HAMBURGER MARY’S
Jeffery Bowman and cast members from Legendary Bingo. (Courtesy Legendary Bingo)
Beautiful drag queens, fantastic food, money, charities…Bingo! Legendary Bingo at Hamburger Mary’s is not just a great drag show, it’s a fantastic and sometimes wild night out. Jeffery Bowman is almost as legendary as Hamburger Mary’s.
HAMBURGER MARY’S
8288 Santa Monica Blvd
323-654-3800
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST DRAG SHOW: LYRIC HYPERION, GREEN EGGS AND GLAM
Lyric Hyperion Theatre & Café
2106 Hyperion Ave.
323-928 2299
BEST BAR: THE ABBEY
Where else are you going to see Diana Ross or Elon Musk tear up the dance floor? The Abbey is arguably the best-known gay bar in all of the U.S. and always a fun night out with your besties. It’s a treasured LA icon and so is owner David Cooley.
THE ABBEY
692 N. Robertson Blvd.
310-289 8410
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST BAR: REVOLVER
WeHo loves the oversized drinks and darts in the back at this famous video bar.
REVOLVER
8851 Santa Monica Blvd.
310-694 0430
BEST RESTAURANT: SUR RESTAURANT AND LOUNGE
“Real Housewives” star Lisa Vanderpump’s SUR is a great place for people watching, and the upscale food is, well, impressive. It’s definitely a see-and-be-seen scene that can’t be missed.
SUR
606 N. Robertson Blvd.
310-289 2824
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST RESTAURANT: Cecconi’s West Hollywood
The Northern Italian cuisine is spectacular, the decor a kind of elegant retro Roman-chic with outdoor seating. True luxe.
CECCONI’S
8764 Melrose Ave.
310-432 2000
BEST GROCERY STORE: TRADER JOE’S
Quite simply, the best place to go shopping for unique, curated food brands.
TRADER JOE’S
7310 Santa Monica Blvd.
323-969-8048
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST GROCERY STORE: PAVILIONS
Extensive selections of the highest-quality foods. And, at least in WeHo, it’s where the boys are.
PAVILIONS
8969 Santa Monica Blvd.
310-595-1730
BEST REAL ESTATE AGENCY: THE COLLECTIVE REALTY
Experienced real estate agents who negotiate well for their clients. One reader said, “The Collective is the concierge service of boutique realty. And Andy Vulin is the best real estate investment teacher I ever met.”
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST REAL ESTATE AGENCY: BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY
Find the most luxurious West Hollywood or Beverly Hills home of your dreams and call Berkshire Hathaway, because no one can close it faster or more fairly. Readers praised their attentiveness to detail.
BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY
131 S. Rodeo Dr.
310-844-6434
BEST STYLISTS: SHORTY’S BARBER SHOP
Whatever level of service you require for your coif, Shorty’s is the place to go. It’s the very best place in West Hollywood for a drop in fade. People travel from all over Los Angeles to the unmistakable storefront on Fairfax.
SHORTY’S
755 N. Fairfax Ave.
323-297-0554
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST STYLIST: MARCO PELUSI
Celebrity hairstylist Marco Pelusi has the best tips for looking great. “Ask your stylist to do a gloss or a shine treatment when you’re next at the salon,” he recommended. “Your hair can often dry out and look dull, lifeless, and frizzy during winter months; the added shine treatment will boost the condition of your hair and make it look healthy.”
MARCO PELUSI
636 N. Robertson Blvd.
310-967-0999
BEST CAR DEALERSHIP: BEVERLY HILLS BMW
One reader commented, “At Beverly Hills BMW, I walked through and decided what I wanted and with no pressure at all I left with the $90,000 ride of my dreams. No hassles, no pressure. Just great service and a brilliant ride.”
BEVERLY HILLS BMW
5070 Wilshire Blvd.
877-794-4678
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST CAR DEALERSHIP: HONDA OF HOLLYWOOD
Honda of Hollywood has one of the best full-service shops of any dealership in Los Angeles. Our favorites are the 2018 CRVs and HRV. Great quality SUVs at a realistic price.
HONDA OF HOLLYWOOD
6511 Santa Monica Blvd.
323-466-3247
BEST MEDICAL PROVIDER: CEDARS SINAI URGENT CARE
World-class urgent care from one of the world’s leading medical institutions.
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST MEDICAL PROVIDER: SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA MEN’S MEDICAL GROUP
Doctors you can talk to and advice that’s easy to take because they are just like you. Comprehensive, fully loaded and state of the art.
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA MEN’S MEDICAL GROUP
9201 Sunset Blvd.
310-550-1010
BEST FITNESS FACILITY: 24 HOUR FITNESS
One of the busiest places in WeHo, 24 Hour Fitness is as much a family for some as it is a gym.
24 HOUR FITNESS
8612 Santa Monica Blvd.
310-652-7440
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST FITNESS: EQUINOX FITNESS
A little bit of luxury goes a long way during a hard workout. Outstanding, modern and clean facilities are what make Equinox worthy of Editors’ Choice.
EQUINOX FITNESS
8590 Sunset Blvd.
310-289-1900
BEST MARIJUANA DISPENSARY: MEDMEN
Since Jan. 1, MedMen has experienced lines down the block and its fans are true believers in the almost Apple Store experience of boutique weed products of every kind. Founder Andrew Modin, almost overnight, has become a business sensation in West Hollywood and is now ramping up to take it national.
MEDMEN
8208 Santa Monica Blvd.
323-848-7981
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST DISPENSARY: ZEN HEALING WEST HOLLYWOOD
Some say it has one of the highest-grade selections of any store in Los Angeles. Its edibles and medicinal choices are outstanding.
ZEN HEALING
8464 Santa Monica Blvd.
323-656-6666
BEST HOTEL: WALDORF-ASTORIA
One of the world’s leading hotel names is now at home along Santa Monica and Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills. Unprecedented luxury is just the tip of the iceberg of the Waldorf experience. After watching it soar skyward during construction, you know you want to spend the weekend there. Staycation!
WALDORF-ASTORIA
9850 Wilshire Blvd.
310-860-6666
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST HOTEL: JEREMY HOTEL
Soon to experience a name change — think One Hotel — The Jeremy, as everyone now calls it, is an astounding architectural gem and gorgeous hotel overlooking Rainbow City. It’s not only a great place to stay, it’s also a destination.
JEREMY HOTEL
8490 Sunset Blvd.
310-424-1600
BEST HOUSE OF WORSHIP: FOUNDERS METROPOLITAN COMMUNITY CHURCH
The house that MCC founder Troy Perry built is a rollicking, down home gospel of faith and a beacon in the fight and one of the most consequential cornerstone establishments of LGBT history in LA.
FOUNDERS
4607 Prospect Ave.
323-669-3434
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST HOUSE OF WORSHIP: KOL AMI
One of the most significant Reform synagogues in America is also one of the most innovative. A powerhouse of Jewish tradition and thought, Rabbi Denise Eger is devoted to community and social justice.
KOL AMI
1200 N. La Brea Ave.
323-606-0996
BEST LGBT SOCIAL GROUP: IMPULSE GROUP LA
Impulse Group is an international group that advocates change toward healthier sexual lifestyles among gay men in 18 cities around the world, based in Los Angeles. Founder Jose Ramos felt stronger community bonds and family building among peers can reduce HIV rates and save lives. Turns out he was right.
EDITORS’ CHOICE: BEST LGBT SOCIAL GROUP: VARSITY GAY LEAGUE
California’s largest LGBT recreational sports league is celebrating 10 gay years! A robust and well-organized calendar of Kickball, Dodgeball, Bowling, Tennis, Soccer and Volleyball. Who says gays don’t do sports? Will Hackner and Andrew Miller want to know.
BEST MUSEUM: LOS ANGELES COUNTY MUSEUM OF ART
LACMA is a world-class museum and with its expansion, including an incorporation of Hollywood movie and Oscar history, it’s unrivaled. Many outstanding collections and community events, like outdoor films, make it a treasured institution.
LACMA
5905 Wilshire Blvd.
323-857-6000
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST MUSEUM: THE BROAD
One of the most important modern museums in the western United States is also one of the most iconic landmarks in DTLA. Eli Broad’s massively important contemporary art collection almost wound up in a building that would have been where the new Waldorf is today.
THE BROAD
221 S. Grand Ave.
213-232-6200
BEST NON-PROFIT: AIDS HEALTHCARE FOUNDATION
AHF provides services to more than 600,000 HIV+ individuals in 15 U.S. states and 36 countries worldwide and is the largest AIDS service organization in the world. Michael Weinstein founded the agency as a hospice when no hospital would care for AIDS patients and since then has grown it into a billion-dollar non-profit.
AIDS HEALTHCARE FOUNDATION
6255 W. Sunset Blvd.
323-860-5200
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST NON-PROFIT: LOS ANGELES LESBIAN & GAY CENTER
Founded by Morris Kight in 1969, LA’s LGBT Center is now the world’s largest LGBT social service agency and community center and is in the middle of an expansion that will revolutionize its reach. Lori Jean, its CEO, has become one of the most important LGBT non-profit leaders in the U.S.
LGBT CENTER
1625 N. Schrader Blvd.
323-993-7400
BEST VET: LAUREL PET HOSPITAL
A truly empathic provider of outstanding medical services for generations of LGBT community members in West Hollywood.
LAUREL PET HOSPITAL
7970 Santa Monica Blvd.
323-654-7060
Dr. Mark Nunez
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST VET: Dr. MARK NUNEZ, formerly of VETERINARY CARE CENTER, now Medical Director of VCA Miller-Robertson Animal Hospital.
Dr. Mark Nunez was previously Veterinary Care Center’s go-to doctor, known for going the extra mile to save your pet. Dr. Nunez recently accepted a new position as Medical Director of VCA Miller-Robertson Animal Hospital
VCA Miller-Robertson Animal Hospital
8807 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90069
310-657-7050.
BEST LA ATTRACTION: GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY
The go-to place for all family visits and the south-facing slope of Mount Hollywood offers views that just can’t be beat.
GRIFFITH OBSERVATORY
2800 E. Observatory Rd.
213-473-0800
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST LA ATTRACTION: HOLLYWOOD BOWL
The iconic outdoor theater celebrates everything about Los Angeles and features some of the greatest names in music, under the stars.
HOLLYWOOD BOWL
2301 N. Highland Ave.
323-850-2000
BEST RED CARPET EVENT: HRC LA DINNER
The Human Rights Campaign brings out the star power each year in Los Angeles and is famous for an exuberant red carpet experience. On March 10, 2018 you have your next chance to take a walk.
EDITORS’ CHOICE, BEST RED CARPET: OUTFEST
The world’s most important LGBT film festival is also becoming one of LA’s most anticipated events.
(Mary Jo De Silva contributed to this article)
a&e features
“I should have been there”: A queer Korean adoptee finds healing with original family members
‘Between Goodbyes’ director Jota Mun talks about their filmmaking ethos behind this layered, moving portrait, now streaming on PBS.
What does longing for your child look like? What happens when they resurface in front of you, when that rift was once an immeasurable open sea — a searing pain that silently hollowed you out for decades? For the child wrenched away by circumstance and thrown into the purgatory of always feeling in-between: in between home, in between being a whole person, in between who you could have been and who you are now — what does it mean to become and belong?
In filmmaker Jota Mun’s documentary Between Goodbyes, the fragmented yearning for home, family and identity are woven together into a tremendous and at times dream-like contemplation of the self, focused on various family members set adrift by a deceitful international adoption machine.
The story is focused on Mieke Murkes, a queer Korean adoptee who grew up in the rural village of Vaassen in the Netherlands. Shortly after her birth in 1982, she was raised by Willy, a devout evangelical Christian woman. But the story does not begin with Mieke in Vaassen. It begins with Okgyun, her original mother, walking through an ephemeral meadow as she makes her way to a shoreline. This is our first point of loss.
It is important to understand how the stories of Okgyun and Mieke exist. In Between Goodbyes, we see a frustrating glimpse into the cultural and political forces that created this separation. Since 1955, 200,000 children have been adopted from South Korea, and just three years ago, several of these adoptees found that their documents had been falsified. Murkes would sift through her own papers in Between Goodbyes, noting their dull and rote descriptions of her physical appearance and health. “The paperwork is as if you’re buying a new car,” Murkes says.
Written nearby: “Both parents are unknown,” a falsehood that leaves the family breathless. It is a gut punch.
This March, a South Korean governmental agency admitted that it had violated the rights of adoptees, but an investigation that began in 2022 at the behest of over 350 Korean adoptees has been halted. Whether or not retribution can ever be paid is up in the air, but the reeling grief and complicated self-reckoning many of these adoptees and their families face are rendered and expressed with deep tenderness in Mun’s documentary. “I did not know how to fit the Korean part of me in there,” Murkes said.
When Okgyun was pregnant with Mieke, she was also raising three other daughters: Mijin, Mikyung and Taekyung. The population was booming, and mothers like herself were being shamed for continuing to have children. Considering abortion, Okgyun recounts a midwife who convinced her not to go through with it — that if the child were a boy, she should keep him. If it turned out to be a girl, she could give her away to live “a good life” in the U.S. “Men are always positioned above women,” Okgyun said. “I always hated that.”
After Mieke was born, Okgyun’s mother-in-law told her to give her away. “She was gone before I saw her face,” Okgyun said. “I let her go.” Her guilt tightens her throat, trembles in her voice. “I dreamed of Mieke a lot. I can’t tell you how many times,” Okgyun said. “Dreaming and forgetting, dreaming and forgetting. The thought that kept me going is that one day I can find Mieke.”
What ensued was a several years-long search. Kwangho, Mieke’s original father, pleaded with an adoption agency for any leads about Mieke. They denied him several times and his desperation only grew. “I had to find her to be at peace before I die,” he said.
Meanwhile, Mieke’s own grief and confusion were compounding. When she was beginning to discover her queerness, she was deeply ingrained in local religious spaces. What made her feel free, the church treated as an aberration — as behavior that resulted from loss.
When she would eventually meet her original family, they, too, had trouble processing her queer identity and masculine presentation. To them, queerness was “acquired” from being raised in a foreign land. With time, they grew to embrace Mieke and her partner, Marit, even as misunderstandings arose. Of this, Mieke’s conflictedness is explored. Gay rights are more advanced and accepted in the Netherlands than in South Korea, but this does not mean contending with her queerness would have been easy with her adoptive mother, Willy. “It probably would have disappointed her a lot,” Mieke tearfully revealed.
Mieke’s stepping in between knowing and unknowing is reminiscent of Okgyun’s dreaming and forgetting — their grief and confusion move within them, replicating themselves over and over again. Between Goodbyes dives deeply into this in order to offer a portrait of healing: of its complications and the necessity of community support to achieve this.
Mun discusses the film with the Blade, diving into how reunification between adoptees and original family members is, in many ways, made nearly impossible by factors like language and cultural barriers enforced and held tightly in place by the international adoption system. This film illustrates a break in this narrative and the mighty efforts behind it all.
A broadcast version of Between Goodbyes is now available to stream on PBS. See below for more information.
Can you tell me about the inception of making Between Goodbyes? Have you always wanted to tell a story about international Korean adoption from a queer perspective?
As a queer Korean adoptee myself, [there are] so many intersections that I haven’t quite seen on screen before. So I was always really excited about making something about my community. And then I’d say, in 2017, is around when I started getting closer to zeroing in on the idea. I think part of it was through befriending Mieke and hearing her parents’ story. Hearing about their efforts really blew my mind.
So much of the standard narrative is that adoptees initiate the search. So even before meeting [Okgyun and Kwangho], it just felt like it spoke so loudly of not only their character, but a piece of the puzzle that I had never considered — that they could be longing for us. And I think as an adoptee, you always wonder what [your original parents] would think. So it’s very noticeable that we almost don’t ever hear from them directly. Even in narrative stories of adoption, they’re usually deleted, or they’re written in a really flat way that feels like they’re serving the plot. I’ve never seen a depiction of birth mothers in particular who are questioning their own circumstances or feel angry about it.
There’s a lot of nuance given to all of the different people that we see in the story. The pain is layered and deep, and we don’t just view it from one perspective. What was it like having to portray this hurt, when many adoption stories typically focus solely on the adoptee’s emotional and personal journey?
It’s so unique through each lens, even though it’s the same pain. Like her sisters — of course, it’s going to affect them. Even if she never said anything, they must have felt it. It just ripples out to everyone and keeps expanding.
Originally, it was focused on Mieke, because that’s who I had the most access to, and she’s the closest to me in terms of general identity markers. So in my mind, I felt more confident that I could tell her story in a nuanced way. But what about Okgyun? I was hitting a similar barrier of communication that Mieke had hit. That’s part of why our main producer, Zoe Sua Cho, was so essential in conveying more about Okygun and the original family’s side of the story.
When I was in the early stages of developing the film, there was a quote that I felt was really inspirational: “In our hurting, we did not realize that we were stolen from each other” (by SN Désirée Cha from Outsiders Within Writing on Transracial Adoption). The same quote came back to me in the edit and helped us find a narrative structure that went beyond just one person’s perspective.
What if the main character is the collective trauma, a singular event that causes the family to splinter and suffer across decades? I wanted to explore how tempting it is in these moments of righteous anger at systemic problems to end up fighting with each other. I feel like they both had to mourn something that was so much bigger than any one family. Mieke’s adoption affected so many people that I almost wanted that to be the main character. How do we not get lost in that pain and still try to come back together? It’s too much to carry alone.
So the main character is not necessarily one person, but the issue that you’re trying to tackle throughout the story. It also makes me think about how the documentary itself, or the making of it, also participates in this community healing that I feel like was the focus of Between Goodbyes.
I hope it’s an important layer. Suffice to say I think I always deflect to name a singular main character. I wanted to show everyone’s point of view while of course highlighting especially Okgyun and Mieke.
What else can you share about your approach to filmmaking?
You know, I was on this wonderful panel earlier this year, hosted by A-DOC, and I kind of surprised myself in preparing for it. I realized, actually, I have a lot of strong beliefs on filmmaking ethics that I hope come through in the film. For example, I reject the genius artist myth. The fantasy that if an artist is talented enough, they get permission to treat everyone around them terribly. That exploitation and squeezing things out of people is the best way to make great art.
Instead, I want to believe that the sensitivity, the care, and emotional work I poured in is going to come shining through in the film. And I do think that’s part of why we witnessed so many intensely vulnerable moments that I couldn’t have predicted.
This emotional connection to the film is also, visually, represented in artistic and inventive ways. There are sequences interspersed throughout that feel dream-like and cinematic. Creatively, what was it like to structure and craft how you wanted those scenes to be, the weight that they carried, and why you wanted to represent them in that way?
Aw, thanks for saying so! I was clear from the beginning that I wanted certain moments in the film to look as cinematic and epically life-changing as they feel in real life. Because visually, sometimes these moments of heartbreak can look rather dull. The deep heartbreak of a farewell at the airport. What does it look like? It looks like two people hugging in a very normal-looking terminal. But that’s not what it feels like. It feels larger than life. So to me, every single one of the art [scenes] has a very literal symbolism in my mind.
I really enjoy the complexity given to the family, both through the artistic symbolism and through the different angles we get to view them in. When it comes to Mieke’s queer identity, there are varying levels of acceptance and also tension that co-exist. One of her sisters, Mikyung, skirts around terms and labels, instead saying Mieke is “like that,” and “I don’t know anyone like that.” There was this feeling that queerness is learned or acquired elsewhere — that Mieke “wouldn’t have turned out like that” if she had grown up with her original family in Korea.
I can’t be sure what they were implying but you know, I definitely didn’t want to fall into a common trope of seeing Western values as being so liberal and accepting and framing all other cultures as homophobic. I want to be clear that there is a queer community in Seoul. It’s not the same as Amsterdam, of course, but it does exist.
That’s part of why it was important for me to include Mieke mentioned what she thinks her Dutch mom would have thought — just to clarify that homophobes are everywhere. There are plenty of them here in the West as well. Mieke’s Dutch parents were Evangelist Christians. So it’s not like everyone in the West is free to be a lesbian, you know?
Another moment that struck me in the film was a moment where we, as the audience, get to see you clearly. In this scene, we see you and Mieke on a rooftop, and you’re consoling her as she’s trying to prepare for a difficult conversation with her original mother, Okgyun. Did you have to find a balance in terms of being the director of this film and being Mieke’s friend?
It was really important to me to show friendship and how much that can help you along the journey. You think that for her to emotionally process things, it would have to be with her mom. But that rooftop conversation felt so transformative in itself. And then what ended up being the kind of mirror scene to that was Okgyun talking to Ruth [a fellow original mother]. She needed a buddy, too. How many times in life are we like: The opposing party doesn’t need to get it, but if my friend just could — that would give me so much relief and patience to enter the actual conversation with the person I’m upset with.
Being so personally close to Mieke and her family meant that my film was about all people I loved and cared about. I think the documentary field comes from such a long history of an anthropological approach. It’s like, “I’ve helicoptered in, and I just met you, but I’m the expert artist.” I wish the ethos were the opposite; we need to care about everyone, from the participants to the crew. I don’t want the blood, sweat, and tears to come through on the screen. I hope that watching it makes people feel cloaked in tenderness and care.
I was so worried about everyone, probably too much. It’s such a weird thing to ask people to do, to be in a film, so I took that with a lot of responsibility. Be aware of the impact you’re having. I am having an effect on this family’s life. I almost wanted to be like: “Forget my art project.” This is about the rest of their lives as a family, and that’s more important. So it became a light on my path, trying to make decisions as best I could to have a positive impact on their relationship.
It almost made me question my ethics in a different direction. “Am I intervening too much?” And that’s a strange thing: I have to admit I exist. I’m not a fly on the wall. And I think that’s why the conversation on the roof was really the most vulnerable for me, because I was showing myself. I’ve actually been here the whole time, cheering them on or trying to diffuse tension. I set out to make a film about how hard it is to stay in reunion, but now I’ve realized I’ll be heartbroken if their reunion doesn’t last. So in many ways the film was really just a vehicle for my attempt at keeping us all connected across so many distances, and that’s my own emotional journey or connection to their story.
Mun plans to release the full-length film in 2026, along with deleted scenes and additional footage. Up-to-date information can be found on the film’s Instagram page.
Kristie Song is a California Local News Fellow placed with the Los Angeles Blade. The California Local News Fellowship is a state-funded initiative to support and strengthen local news reporting. Learn more about it at fellowships.journalism.berkeley.edu/cafellows.
Some gifts scream practical, others whisper luxury, and a few flat-out blur the lines. From cocoa that feels ceremonial to a cologne that linger like a suggestive smirk, this year’s ultimate gift picks prove that thoughtful (and occasionally naughty) presents don’t have to be prosaic. Welcome to your holiday cheat sheet for festive tangibles that get noticed, remembered, and maybe even result in a peck of gratitude planted under the mistletoe. Consensually, of course.
Amber Glass Champagne Flutes
Pop the champs – but make it vintage. These tulip-shaped stunners in amber-tinted glass bring all the Gatsby vibes without the Jazz-age drama. Whether you’re toasting a milestone or celebrating a Tuesday, their seven-ounce capacities and hand-wash-only care make ‘em as practical as they are pretty. Pair with a thoughtful bottle of bubs and gift with a glittering wink. $18, NantucketLooms.com
Disaster Playbook by Here Comes the Apocalypse
Because the end of the world shouldn’t be a solo act, this spiral-bound guide is your step-by-step roadmap to surviving and thriving when everything else goes sideways, which might be sooner than you think. Packed with checklists, drills, and a healthy dose of humor, it’s like a survival manual written by your most prepared (and slightly snarky) friend. Whether you’re prepping for a zombie apocalypse or, more realistically, REVOLUTION!, this playbook’s got your back. $40, HereComesTheApocalypse.com
Wickless Vulva Candles
Bold, luxurious, and completely flame-free, CTOAN’s wickless candles melt from beneath on a warmer, releasing subtle, sophisticated fragrances, like sandalwood or lavender. The vulva-shaped wax adds a playful, provocative element to any space –perfect for a bedroom, living room, or anywhere you want elegance with an edge. A gift that celebrates form, intimacy and self-expression, no fire required. $39, CTOANCO.com
Villeroy & Boch Royal Classic Christmas Collection
Every meal is a mini celebration – with whimsy at every place setting – in Villeroy & Boch’s Royal Classic festive dinnerware collection that hits all the right notes. Made from premium German porcelain, it features nostalgic little toys, nutcrackers, and rocking horses in delicate relief, giving your holiday spread a playful but refined twist. Dishwasher- and microwave-safe, it’s luxe without the fuss. Gift a piece to a special someone, or start a collection they’ll use (and show off) for years to come. $22-$363, Villeroy-Boch.com
Greenworks Electric Lawnmower
You a ’hood queen who considers lawn care performance art – or just wants to rule the cul-de-sac in quiet, emission-free glory? Greenworks’ zero-turn electric mower has the muscle of a 24-horsepower gas engine but none of the fumes, drama or maintenance. Six 60V batteries and a 42-inch deck mean you can mow up to two-and-a-half acres on a single charge – then plug in, recharge, and ride again. It’s whisper-quiet, slope-ready, and smooth enough to make you wonder why you ever pushed anything besides your queer agenda. The perfect gift for the homeowner who loves sustainability, symmetry, and showing off their freshly striped yard like that fresh fade you get on Fridays. $5,000, GreenworksTools.com
Molekule Air Purifier
For the friend who treats their space like a sanctuary (or just can’t stand sneezes), the Molekule Air Pro is magic in motion. Covering up to 1,000 square feet, it doesn’t just capture allergens, VOCs, and smoke – it destroys them, leaving your air feeling luxury-clean. FDA-cleared as a Class II medical device, it’s serious science disguised as modern design. Gift it to your city-dwelling, pet-loving, candle-burning friend who likes their living room as pristine as their Instagram feed. $1,015, Molekule.com
Cipriani Prosecco Gift Set
Effervescent with stone-fruit sweetness and a touch of Italian flair, the Cipriani Bellini & Prosecco gift set brings brunch-level glamour to any day of the week. The Bellini blends rich white-peach purée with sparkling wine, while the dry ’secco keeps things crisp and celebratory. Pop a bottle, pour a flute, and suddenly winter weeknights feel like a party – even with your pants off. $36, TotalWine.com
Woo(e)d Cologne
British GQ recently crowned Woo(e)d by ALTAIA the “Best Date Night Fragrance,” and honestly, they nailed it. Confident without being cocky – smoky gaïac and Atlas cedarwood grounds the room while supple leather and spicy cardamom do all the flirting – it’s a scent that lingers like good conversation and soft candlelight. Gift it to the one who always turns heads – or keep it for yourself and let them come to (and then on) you. $255, BeautyHabit.com
Lococo Cocoa Kit
Keep the run-of-the-mill mugs in the cabinet this Christmas and pull out Lococo’s handcrafted Oaxacan versions that demand you slow down and sip like it matters. Paired with a wooden scoop, rechargeable frother, and Lococo’s signature spice hot-chocolate blend (vegan, gluten-free, with adaptogenic mushrooms), this holiday kit turns Mexi-cocoa into a mini ritual you’ll look forward to. Perfect for anyone who loves a little indulgence with a side of ¡A huevo! energy.
Manta Sleep Mask
Total blackout, zero pressure on the eyes, and Bluetooth speakers built right into the straps, this ain’t your mama’s sleep mask — but it could be. The Manta SOUND sleep mask features C-shaped eye cups that block every hint of light while ultra-thin speakers deliver your favorite white noise, meditation, or late-night playlist straight to your ears. With 24-hour battery life, breathable fabric, and easy-to-adjust sound, it turns any bed (or airplane seat)
Shacklelock Necklace
Turn the industrial-chic vibe of a shackle into a sleek statement. Mi Tesoro’s platinum-plated stainless-steel necklace sits on an 18-inch wheat chain, featuring a shackle-style latch pendant that’s waterproof, tarnish-free, and totally fuss-les. Beyond style, it nods to a classic gesture in the queer leather community: replacing a traditional Master lock with something elegant to quietly signal belonging to someone special. Wear it solo for a minimalist edge or layer it like you mean it; either way this piece locks in both your look and your intentions. $90, MiTesoroJewelry.com
Parkside Flask Mojave Edition
Wine nights get a desert glow-up with Parkside’s limited-edition 750-milliliter all-in-one flask draped in sun-washed bronze and badland hues like sage, sand, and terracotta – with magnetic stemless tumblers that snap on for effortless shareability. It keeps your vino chilled for 24 hours, pours without drips (no tears for spilled rosé, please), and even let
Mikey Rox is an award-winning journalist and LGBT lifestyle expert whose work has published in more than 100 outlets across the world. Connect with him on Instagram @mikeyroxtravels.
a&e features
Drag queen Kennedy Davenport dishes on her new comedy special
The RuPaul’s Drag Race alumni on The Kennedy Davenport Center Honors and how she chooses to stay positive amidst so much hate.
While RuPaul’s Drag Race is filled with legendary queens, few have had as much of a cultural impact as Dallas’ very own Kennedy Davenport. Originally from this seminal program’s seventh season, the performer became an instant fan-favorite with her endless stream of quotable catchphrases and jaw-dropping dance ability. With follow-up appearances on All Stars and Versus The World, Kennedy has solidified herself as one of the biggest icons to come from this franchise. And, finally, World of Wonder is giving her the solo spotlight she deserves with a new special, unlike anything the production company has done before: The Kennedy Davenport Center Honors.
“It’s different, and that’s why I wanted to do it!” Said Davenport, when she sat down with the Los Angeles Blade to discuss what drew her to this new special. “I’m a host by nature — and coming up in the Drag Community, you have to know how to hold a mic.”
The Kennedy Davenport Center Honors will see the queen bestow awards — or, as she calls them, ‘dishonors’ — to various Drag Race alumni. From “Proud Drag Mother Award – When Your Daughter Has A Higher Booking Fee” to “The Struggle is Real Award,” Kennedy was excited to share the stage with some of her favorite Drag sisters and completely gag them with these hilarious new titles. Whether it be recent icon Bosco or long-lasting legends like Alexis Mateo, she assures everyone reading that this VIP list will be one of WowPresentsPlus’ most stacked yet. But beyond the comically star-studded glamour, Kennedy knew that she wanted her first special to be something more than just an award show. She wanted to use this time to uplift and celebrate the Drag community that she loves so much — a practice that queer people have been missing in recent months, but that this Queen does in her life every single day.
“[I’m positive] on a daily basis,” Kennedy explained, when discussing the optimistic attitude she embodies as a host. “I always highlight positivity. And, you know, it’s cliché to say…but I really don’t think about the negative. In my life, or in my career.” It’s a part of the performer that fans don’t often get to see; between the verbal takedowns and stunning lip-syncs, Drag Race watchers can miss how Kennedy is constantly supporting everyone around her.
When discussing how she manages to stay so hopeful, especially when coming from a state filled with anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric, Kennedy clarified, “It’s a very conscious thing. You have to be aware of what you are putting into the universe, and what you are allowing into your personal space.” She continued, “It’s easy for me to do [this] because I’ve been down at the bottom [of life]. I’ve [also] been at the top, but the bottom is where you really start learning life and start making up your mind about wanting to live positively.”
“I’m going to see my dream, I’m going to see my purpose. I’m going to encourage others and motivate them to be their authentic selves — and I’m going to respect myself along the way so that I can continue to be respected and loved by [everyone around me.]” It’s a radically optimistic mindset that audiences don’t often get to see through the television screen. And it’s one that Kennedy knows her fans can benefit from, now more than ever.
During a time when LGBTQ+ communities — especially drag queens, who are go-to scapegoats for conservative fearmongers — are being attacked at a daunting scale, it’s becoming harder and harder to find moments of pure queer joy in America. It’s understandable that so many are focused on pushing for change in all arenas of this country, but we can’t forget how essential community is in the ongoing fight for liberation. It’s good to remember that in the face of discriminatory rhetoric, LGBTQ+ joy is a radical act, which is why Kennedy is hoping that this special will give viewers something they haven’t had in far too long: a moment to relax.
“It’s all [done] in love, and that’s the message that I really want people to see, that,” said Davenport, when discussing how excited she is to not only poke fun at her fellow performers, but spotlight their many accomplishments. “It’s a ‘dishonors,’ but we all love them, and everybody that I call out [in the special] knows that it’s done in love.” By bringing viewers into her close relationships with everyone involved, Kennedy is inviting them to laugh at the inside jokes she’s developed over years of knowing these stars. It’s the most exciting part of the entire endeavor for the Queen, saying, “I’ve always lived with the heart of love and laughter. So, to have this platform, to be able to spread love…it’s a blessing in disguise.” This interview quickly turned from a spotlight on a funny special into a profile on a Drag Queen who has helped so many over the years. It’s all a part of Kennedy Davenport’s ongoing mission to spread her personal mindset of love and life to everyone she meets, with The Kennedy Davenport Center Honors becoming her latest and biggest attempt at uplifting the many people in her community. This is why, as the interview came to an end, Kennedy clarified her true goal with this special: “At the end of the day, I just want you to be sitting back laughing and saying, ‘That made me sick!’ She talked about me, and I loved it.”
The Kennedy Davenport Center Honors premieres December 7th on WOW Presents Plus
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Exploring a different side of Los Angeles influencer Javonte Rose
This author, advocate, and model discusses the hard journey that brought him where he is today.
While online followers will think many things when they first lay their eyes on Javonte Rose, there’s one word that will come to many of their minds: perfection.
This LA-based model and musician has spent the last few years occupying people’s timelines with a perfectly curated social media presence. It’s what led to his casting on hit queer web series like WowPresentsPlus’ Vanjie: 24 Hours of Love, where fans came to know him for his effortlessly suave confidence. Javonte’s brand is built on this form of pure queer excellence — but it definitely didn’t start that way. Because, despite what it may seem to his thousands of Instagram followers, Javonte’s life story is one of hardship and tireless work, facing some of the worst situations imaginable and refusing to let them break you. It’s an aspect of the influencer that your average follower wouldn’t get to learn about, and it’s an experience that he hopes to share with the many people going through the same turmoil he did today.
Initially, Javonte sat down with the Blade to discuss his part in OUTtv’s recent reality series Slayers: Wheel of Fate. Hosted by the legendary Tiffany ‘New York’ Pollard, Javonte was thrilled to be a part of this all-queer competition show. “I had an amazing time,” he gushed. “And just being in a house with so many different individuals who you don’t know and coming together…it brought me back to childhood. [I got] to be very smart and strategic — playing it cute and playing it safe!” He laughed about the intensity of this program, yet what began as a fun conversation about reality TV quickly became an insightful discussion about healing from trauma, all because of one question: what made you who you are today?
Of course, every influencer has a past, one that reveals a deeper side to the flawless image projected to their online audiences. But few backstories are as shocking as Javonte Rose’s, with the man starting his explanation with a distressing statement: “I’ve been on my own since I was 15 years old.”
“Growing up was such a struggle for me,” he continued. “[My siblings and I] were split up as kids, because my mom was going through a lot…she had her first kid at 13, and so she was trying to be a mom and a teenager at the same time. So we were all split up, and I moved in with my aunt — it was a big difference.” Javonte’s eyes literally lit up when speaking about his aunt; for the first time in his life, it felt like he actually had a parent. “My aunt was the one who taught me how to love and respect and appreciate people…she treated me with love and respect, and loyalty and guidance, and the motherhood my mom didn’t have [any of].” While he spent a relatively short time with the woman, Javonte emphasized how dearly he loves his aunt and the sense of family that she instilled in him. He’d finally received the love he hadn’t had from his birth mom, which is why it was particularly devastating when, after only a few years with his aunt, his mother regained custody of her children.
Returning to his immediate family set off a decade of torment for Javonte. “I was being bullied by kids in school, then going back home [and] being bullied by my siblings and verbally [abused] by my mom and her boyfriend.” This experience went on well into his teens, forcing him to start working at only 12 years old while enduring homophobic harassment at home and in school. These years of abuse culminated in the horrific experience of his mom calling the police on him when he was only 15 years old.
“Your mother putting you in jail for something you didn’t do is [heartbreaking],” said Javonte, detailing the day when, after attacking him physically when he tried to leave their home to go to work, his mother called the police and alleged that he was the one attacking her. “Feeling those handcuffs…knowing she’s behind you watching it happen…” The artist described the feeling of having the person meant to protect you turn into the source of your worst trauma. It was a terrifying moment that led to his younger self moving to Boston, where he began the modeling career that brought him to where most people know him today.
“People always [see me as] this beautiful man. ‘Wow, he does modeling, acting, he’s on television…how can he go through such struggles and trauma?” It’s a misconception that Javonte has always experienced, but it’s luckily given him a platform that he uses to hopefully make sure nobody goes through the same experience he did.
While many people know Javonte for his reality TV appearances and catchy songs, the man has also spent years as one of Los Angeles’ most fashionable activists. Not only has he documented his tumultuous childhood in a memoir, Behind the Blue Eyes, but in 2016, he started his own anti-bullying nonprofit, I’m Here. He was able to turn a lifetime of tragedy into a mission to support others with a ceaseless confidence that he credits to one person: his aunt. “I always stood my ground because my aunt always told me to keep my head high and smile no matter what. I just kept looking at myself in the mirror and [telling myself], ‘You are amazing, you are beautiful, you are strong, you are powerful.’”
Javonte’s story shows how even just one supportive person can impact someone’s entire life. And, through the man’s ability to turn so much early anguish into the easy image of perfection he has now, it also speaks to the importance of valuing yourself even when everyone around you tries to make you feel lesser. Because Javonte wouldn’t have accomplished any of his wildly impressive resume without believing that he had a story to tell. And, as he ended the interview, the advocate advised his many fans, “Find a safe place…and write. Write the things that you’re going through, things that you want to change, and things that you want to see in your life. Try to think of the beautiful life moments [you’ve had], and try to think of the beautiful life moments that [you will] have. And just try to keep uplifting yourself through it all.”
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Jonathan Bennett: making ‘Finding Mr. Christmas’ Season 2 with heart, and telling gay love stories for broad audiences
The Mean Girls star dishes on looking for the next Broadway role and how Hallmark has supported queer storytelling
Jonathan Bennett believes there are two kinds of people in the world — those who love Hallmark movies and liars. And in Season 2 of Finding Mr. Christmas, which the Mean Girls star co-created with Ben Roy, Bennett is searching for Hallmark’s next leading man.
“It’s so fun for people because everyone in their life has someone they know that they think should be in Hallmark movies, right? The UPS driver, the barista at the coffee shop, the dentist,” Bennett says. “So we’re testing their acting abilities, we’re testing who they are, but we’re also looking for that star quality — the thing that makes them shine above everyone else. It’s almost something you can’t explain, but we know it when we see it.”
Season 2’s cast includes a former NFL player for the Green Bay Packers, a few actors, and a realtor. The 10 men compete in weekly festive-themed acting challenges, one of which included having to ride a horse and act out a scene with Alison Sweeney. The contestants were chosen from a crop of 360 potential men, and Bennett gives kudos to the show’s Emmy-nominated casting director, Lindsay Liles (The Bachelor, Bachelor in Paradise).
“She has a tough job because she has to find 10 guys that are going to be good reality television, but also have the talent to act, carry a scene, and lead a Hallmark movie eventually,” he says. To be the right fit for a Hallmark leading man, Bennett singles out five key characteristics: you have to be funny, charming, kind, have a sense of humor, and you have to do it all with a big heart.
Of course, Finding Mr. Christmas wouldn’t be Finding Mr. Christmas without its signature eye candy — something Bennett describes as “part of the job” for the contestants. “I can’t believe Hallmark let me get away with this. I dressed them as sexy reindeer and put them in harnesses attached to a cable 30 feet in the air, and they had to do a sexy reindeer photo shoot challenge,” he says with a laugh. “This season is just bigger and bolder than last. People are responding to not only all the craziness that we put them through, but also comparing and contrasting the guys in their acting scenes when we do them back-to-back.”
Season 1 winner Ezra Moreland’s career has been an early testament to the show’s success at finding rising talent. On seeing the show’s first winner flourish, Bennett says, “Now to watch him out in the world, just booking commercial after commercial and shining as an actor and a model, I think the show gave him the wings to do that. He learned so much about himself, and he took all that into his future auditions and casting. He just works nonstop. I’ve never seen an actor book more commercials and modeling gigs in my life.”
Bennett has been a star of plenty of Hallmark movies himself, including the GLAAD-award-winning The Groomsmen: Second Chances, which makes him a fitting host. Among those movies are 2020’s Christmas House, which featured the first same-sex kiss on the network and had a major impact on Bennett’s career as an openly gay man. “Hallmark’s been so great about supporting me in queer storytelling. But again, I don’t make gay movies for gay audiences. I make gay love stories for a broad audience, and that’s a huge difference, right? We’re not telling stories inside baseball that only the gay community will understand.”
He continues, “The backdrop of a Hallmark Christmas movie is very familiar to these people who watch. And so when you tell a gay love story, and you tell it no differently than a straight love story in that space, they’re able to understand. It’s able to change hearts and minds for people who might not have it in their lives.”
While Hallmark has become a major staple of Bennett’s career, he started off wanting to be a Broadway actor. And before the first season of Finding Mr. Christmas aired, Bennett took a break from TV to make his Broadway debut in Spamalot, replacing Michael Urie as Sir Robin and starring alongside Ethan Slater and Alex Brightman.
“That was my dream since I was five years old – then I booked a movie called Mean Girls, and everything kind of changes in your life. You no longer become a person pursuing Broadway, you become a part of pop culture,” Bennett recalls. “And to be honest, when I hit 40, I was like, ‘I’m probably never going to get to live that dream.’ And that’s okay, because I got to do other dreams and other things that were just as cool but different. So I honestly never thought it would happen.”
Bennett is still determined to make his way back on Broadway with the right role — he calls Spamalot the “best experience” of his life, after all — but he’s got another Hallmark show lined up with Murder Mystery House, which he co-created. The show was recently greenlit for development and intends to bring the Hallmark mystery movie to life. “It’s kind of like our version of The Traitors,” Bennett admits.
Looking back on both seasons, Bennett says that what makes Finding Mr. Christmas stand out in the overcrowded reality TV landscape is that everyone involved makes it with heart: “This isn’t a show where you’re going to watch people throw drinks in each other’s faces and get into big fights. The thing that has amazed me so much about this show, the more we’ve done it, is that every season, 10 guys come in as competitors, but they leave as a family and as brothers. That’s something you don’t get on any other network.”
Finding Mr. Christmas airs every Monday on Hallmark through December 20, with episodes available to stream on Hallmark+.
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Nia DaCosta and Tessa Thompson on the vital queer chaos of ‘Hedda’
The director and star of the sapphic thriller offer a new vision for what LGBTQ+ representation can be
No matter how much hateful rhetoric tries to silence LGBTQ+ communities, queer people will always fight tirelessly to ensure our stories are told. This is shown prominently in film and television; modern viewers are lucky to have an ample library of queer media to choose from. That’s not to say there haven’t been serious losses in this area, with organizations like GLAAD documenting how the rise in hateful rhetoric has exacerbated existing attempts to ban these important pieces of media. But whether it be in the cinema or online, marginalized creators continue pushing to have their projects be created today — and absolutely none of these creations are as deliciously diabolical as Hedda.
An adaptation of Henrik Ibsen’s classic play, this story follows the titular housewife as she deftly manipulates anyone unfortunate enough to get caught in her orbit. Taking place over the course of a raucous house party, the 2025 version of this 1891 tale sees our ‘protagonist’ square off against 1800s gender norms, her inept husband, and the sudden re-emergence of her ex-girlfriend. Along with its jaw-dropping story of betrayal and intrigue, this complex adaptation seamlessly weaves various identities into a narrative that has been celebrated for more than 100 years. It effortlessly intertwines these historic themes with aspects of queerness and racism that audiences will know well, not only creating the best Hedda adaptation yet, but innovating what LGBTQ+ representation can look like today.
As someone renowned for injecting legendary franchises with much-needed nuance, Nia DaCosta knew how important it was to bring representation to Hedda — despite many people advising her against it. “[Speaking] as a Black woman, when you are not a white dude, your identity becomes a ‘complication,’” said the director, when discussing with the Blade what pushed her to translate this typically white, heterosexual character into a queer woman of color. “Something I get asked a lot is, ‘Oh, well Hedda is Black and queer — don’t you feel like that’s stacking too much on top of the film?’ And I respond, ‘Who you are is not too much.’”
It’s a sentiment that the film’s star, Tessa Thompson, completely resonated with. She shared with the Blade, “I think there is something so powerful about queerness [becoming] textural inside of a narrative,” raved the star, whose filmography is filled with projects like Dear White People and Passing that interrogate what true representation looks like in modern society. “Where we get to sort of normalize that and say this is a huge part of our identity, but it isn’t everything about us,” she continued. “Frankly, I wish that more filmmakers thought about that when they’re conceiving characters.”
It’s a conversation that has gone on for years among queer cinephiles: what is representation by and for LGBTQ+ audiences, and what is teaching non-queer viewers that gay people are also human beings? While it is (unfortunately) still essential for movies to perform this kind of education, it’s led to many projects offering a digestible image of queerness that doesn’t actually reflect the experiences of queer people watching. This kind of portrayal has led to studios utilizing diverse identities as gimmicks, ‘complications’ in the narrative that must be maneuvered around rather than vital aspects of nuanced characters. It’s a harmful trend of hollow representation, and it’s one that Hedda combats in every single scene.
“[Hedda is] canonical material that’s been celebrated for centuries,” Thompson explained. “Obviously, that wasn’t from a queer perspective, wasn’t from the perspective of folks of color…and I think, in a way, what we’re trying to say is that our stories also should be canonical.” By using a story that has existed for so long and effortlessly imbuing themes of queerness and racism into it, this creative team showcased how identity doesn’t have to simply be a narrative ‘hook.’ Rather, by recognizing that these significant identities contribute to the larger personality of a character, it adds impressive complexity to make the story even more entertaining to watch. Thompson’s character is a devilish (if not outright evil) anti-hero who champions her intersectional identities while not performatively explaining to audiences the anguish of being a queer Black woman in the 1800s. This allows her many intricacies to truly shine, with the film refusing to reduce Hedda to the discriminations these identities could solicit and instead using them to further flesh out an already intoxicating character.
Nia DaCosta is an expert at weaving diverse identities into stories not specifically focused on those identities (often to the outcry of conservative audiences). “You can’t think of identity as a complication,” she said, detailing how, whether it was Hedda or her foray into superhero cinema with The Marvels, she’s been alarmed at how reluctant so many filmmakers are to center marginalized identities in stories that aren’t about marginalized pain. “Don’t let anyone else tell you that it’s a complication or that it’s gonna make it too confusing or too complex. It’s not true, because we’re all valid, and we all deserve to be at the center of a story.”
By showing not only how easily such a classic tale can be revised with diverse themes but also how greatly improved it can be by them, DaCosta highlights how easily true representation can be accomplished today. Representation that doesn’t tokenize queer individuals or refuse to allow them outside of stories focused on the pains of being queer. Through her ideation and Thompson’s acting, she innovates cinema by offering a truly multi-dimensional portrayal of a queer person of color whose identity isn’t a complication or narrative tactic. And, when asked what she hopes for intersectional stories like this going forward, the Director ended the interview by saying plainly, “I want to see more of them.”
“There’s room for us in every kind of genre, every kind of storytelling. And we’re slowly cranking in that direction, but I think it’s a fight we have to keep having, and we have to keep being forceful about it, and we have to keep showing up in these spaces and planting our feet. That’s what I hope to see more people [doing]…coming in and planting their feet.”
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Jason Caceres is the rising talent you can’t look away from – not that you’d want to
With three OUTtv series, festival awards, and charismatic energy, Caceres is becoming one of queer media’s most versatile characters
For actor Jason Caceres, the past few years have marked an intentional rise – one defined by a commitment to queer storytelling, a love of comedy, and a layered understanding of what representation in media means. With roles across multiple OUTtv series, including Boy Culture: Generation X, Open To It, and the upcoming Laid Bare, Caceres has become one of the network’s most recognizable and versatile emerging voices. He’s the kind of actor who can get a laugh with nothing more than an eye-roll, a perfectly timed one-liner, or a hair color choice that probably deserves its own content advisory.
Born and raised in Miami to Cuban immigrant parents, Caceres grew up straddling two cultural worlds. This duality informs the emotional sensitivity he brings to his characters. “At home, I spoke Spanish, watched Telenovelas, ate croquettas and bocaditos,” he explains. “At school, I spoke English and ate mashed potatoes and mac and cheese. It helped broaden my horizons…”
To have grown up at this intersection, he says, is precisely what allows him to tap into a range of emotional registers on screen. “It’s given me a sense of empathy that I’m not sure I would’ve had otherwise.” That empathy is evident across his work, whether he’s leaning into camp absurdity or finding solitude in the quieter, more vulnerable scenes.
Caceres’s visibility extends well beyond television. He’s quickly becoming a fixture on the festival circuit, most notably at Cinema Diverse, the Palm Springs LGBTQ+ Film Festival, where he appeared in five programs this past year – an impressive feat even for longtime regulars. “As an openly queer artist, it’s always heartwarming to be received so well by my own community,” he tells the Blade. His long-standing relationship with the festival reflects not only local enthusiasm but also the deep resonance of his work with queer audiences seeking media that affirms their personal experiences and stories.
Still, it’s his turn as Princeton Martinez on Open To It that has captured the widest attention. Caceres’s portrayal is sassy and chaotic, yet he still manages to pull the character into unexpectedly vulnerable territory – a balance he intentionally cultivated when returning for Season 2. “Princeton has seen a lot of growth since the first season,” he says. “Season 2 sees Princeton struggle to grow into himself. We see heartbreak, we see insecurity, we see doubt, and we see love.”
One of the season’s most striking moments mirrored a moment from Caceres’s own life. “[Princeton’s] letting his guard down and, for the first time probably in his entire life, admits that he wants someone to love him the way Greg and Cam love each other,” Caceres recalls. The emotional truth of the scene surprised even him. “It struck me in a way I was not expecting … Right as Frank yelled ‘cut!’ I started bawling like crazy. It was definitely an ‘art imitates life’ moment for me.”
Yet the versatility of Caceres is what truly defines both him and his growing career. As he tells the Blade, “At the end of the day, [Open To It] is a sex comedy that is meant to make you giggle.” He talks about the show with a mix of humor and self-awareness, fully conscious of the role he plays and the space the series occupies in queer culture. At the same time, he remains humble and genuinely grateful for his opportunities. He is quick to credit the queer creators who shaped his own awakening, including Boy Culture and director Allan Brocka. Now, with three OUTtv series to his name and Laid Bare, a queer Agatha Christie-style murder mystery, on the horizon, Caceres has become part of that creative lineage himself. “When I moved to Los Angeles to pursue acting, I knew I wanted to lend my voice to the LGBTQ+ community,” he says. “I was starving for stories and characters that were like me.”
What unites his varied roles is a throughline of joy – a willingness to portray queer characters as messy, hilarious, emotional, desired, and flawed. Caceres is bold, sexy, eclectic, and entirely his own. He is a rising talent whose presence signals exactly where queer storytelling is headed next.
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‘Suffs’ star Gwynne Wood wants us to continue to find hope
What a musical about the suffragette movement can teach us about fighting for LGBTQ Rights
Saying there’s a lot of anxiety in the queer community right now is an understatement. With the overwhelming shadow of politicians threatening to take away our rights, it is now more important than ever to try to find hope and not let fear control us. That’s what Suffs the musical aims to teach us how to do.
Gwynne Wood, who plays Lucy Burns, the co-founder of the National Women’s Party, sat down with the Blade to share what she’s learned from being in the musical.
“Lucy never conforms to what other people want her to be. She has this sense of humor that she uses to bring the group together, even in times of intense hardship. I think that playing her, like I would like to be, like that. I always want to bring humor and heart to these times that we’re living in.”
The suffragettes went through an instrumental amount of tribulation to get the right to vote, including going on a hunger strike and being called insane. Yet, they were still able to remain unwavering in their mission to get the 19th Amendment passed.
Even though there has been progress made since then, in many ways, we’re still fighting for our basic rights to be respected. Many states are trying to prevent LGBTQ people from being visible in classrooms through implementing book bans or just outright telling teachers they’ll be fired if they bring up LGBTQ people.
Even though the Supreme Court decided that it was not going to take up the Kim Davis case, which would have upended gay marriage, it felt disheartening to many that it was even a debate in the first place.
However, if there is one thing that Suffragettes can teach us, it is that we have the right to push back against these policies.
“As much as this administration wants to squash what feels like any sense of hope that we have. It’s our right to dissent. Things have been terrible before, but they pushed through. Our ancestors have done so much for us, and it’s our duty to them to fight back. “
Gwynne also felt the uncertainty around the Kim Davis case, as they recently got engaged. Despite that unease, they believe it’s essential to remember that fear should not prevent people from living their lives.
“We weren’t sure what was going to happen, but I think that I want people to know that even as we were getting inundated with scary things coming from our government, it shouldn’t stop us from living our lives to the fullest, and I think that Suffs has helped me to fully embrace that.”
The women of the suffragette movement are a perfect example of not letting fear get in the way of controlling our lives. One way that the real-life Lucy Burns and Alice Paul did this was by creating a sense of found family through living together, in addition to creating a safe space for women to come together to fight against oppression.
One way that the cast has come together to create that sense of camaraderie is through dressing up as different Scooby-Doo characters for Halloween.
“The dynamic between all of us as actors is so special. It honestly makes it easy to have chemistry with the folks I’m with every night because the show is about the relationships between these women. It makes it a lot easier and so much fun.”
Suffs runs at the Hollywood Pantages Theatre from November 18th to December 7th.
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The Ultimatum: Queer Love’s “villain” Vanessa Papa is rebuilding comfort in queer spaces
Papa will host the next Lez Brunch on Saturday, Nov. 22nd where the theme is chosen family and friendships.
In the spring of 2023, I was finally feeling comfortable identifying as queer. It wasn’t a big revelation so much as a gentle realization that unraveled from a period of intentional time growing my friendships with other queer people.
At that point, I shared a home with a motley of queer artists I cherished: Hanne, Romeo, Oliver, and Ava. We passed snacks to each other from an open kitchen window that led to a patio table where we shared mugs of tea and mini potluck dinners. We read books and talked about old crushes and new ones on the horizon. We made art messily and laughed loudly.
On one rainy night, we cozied up on the couch to watch the sappy sapphic romcom, Imagine Me and You. On another, we projected an episode of The Ultimatum: Queer Love in our living room, gasping and conversing the whole time. I remember scouring internet forums about the show episode after episode, and seeing one of its participants in particular receive consistent waves of backlash from viewers: Vanessa Papa.
Papa was a contentious and oft-discussed character from the series’s eventful run, both in and out of the show. Other participants found her attitude and behavior distasteful and did not shy away from voicing this to her. Viewers lambasted her seemingly flippant attitude towards her partner and the show’s premise. As I prepare to speak with Papa, I keep thinking: what kind of impact does this magnitude of public criticism have on someone’s perception of themself and the world around them? How does she interact with queer spaces today, after being deemed one of the show’s undisputed “villains”?
Papa is the host for the next Lez Brunch this Saturday, where the theme is chosen family and friendships. How has she reclaimed queer acceptance and friendship in her life when she spent the period after the show’s airing hiding, afraid of the “aggression” she was starting to face in her day-to-day life? The Blade sat down with Papa to discuss the impact of being on reality TV as a queer person, how that’s affected how she interacts with queer spaces, and how she approaches maintaining a tight, core chosen family amidst a difficult period of self-doubt that followed the release of the first LGBTQ+ edition of Netflix’s “The Ultimatum.”
Since the show has aired, I’m wondering if the criticism and negativity you received in response still lingers on at all, or if it’s affected the way that you navigate your identity as a queer person?
I think what I encountered very quickly was that the majority of people who were cast were there to put their best foot forward in terms of the public eye. And I didn’t come on like that. I just came on to the show to be my true self, whether I was angry at the time, or sad, or whatever it was. I was just going to be genuinely me. And obviously, when you do something like that, it’s really easy to edit and pick apart the person way more if they’re not putting on a constant mature and happy and calm face, which a lot of them did. I think I understood very early on how I would be edited, but it wasn’t going to change me being me, and it was really hard when the show came out, which was about two years after we filmed.
Basically, my whole life had changed [after] we finished filming, and then before the show came out. I had taken time to travel the world. I got a nose job. I moved to Los Angeles. I was starting a new relationship, and then the show came out, and it was just like: number one, I was in the public eye in a way I’d never been before. And number two, I was so villainized and picked on by the queer community. And number three, I saw things happen in the show that my previous partner had not made me aware of. So it was just a lot of trauma to come on all at once while I was just feeling like I was reestablishing my life without that relationship.
When the show first came out, people were actually aggressive towards me when they would meet me in public. I remember distinctly someone asking me for a picture. They put their arm around me, and while they’re taking the picture, they said, “I fucking hate you.” Moments like that happened constantly for months after the show came out. So I just kind of hid away because people were so cruel. Now, luckily, years later, it’s calmed down.
People tend to have this idea of who I am. It’s really hard to grasp that as the human who went through the experience to have to say: Okay, Vanessa, people who watch the show don’t know what you know, and there’s no way you can fully explain it to them. And you just have to accept that. I used to love being out and open and going to all the queer parties, and then the show came out, and now I have just so much more of a hesitation to be in queer spaces. It’s really upsetting to me, but I’m slowly getting back out there and finding that as the time has progressed, people are softer in terms of thinking they know who I am.
Does that hesitation linger in other aspects of your life and are there certain spaces you just feel more comfortable in now?
I think I feel a lot stronger in just who I am now, so I’m no longer really afraid to go into queer spaces. And if someone were to be unkind to me, I’m just very ready to say, “Okay, I’m gonna walk away now.” I feel like I finally have that bravery, and I’m not just trying to continue to be kind to someone who’s being unkind to me. But in terms of wondering if people are just trying to get to know me or be my friend or get a picture with me because I was in the show, that feeling still lingers. I actually was dating someone for about three years, and that was amazing, and I love her, but we are no longer together.
With that being said, I’m single, and I just have no desire to date, because I cannot imagine going out into the queer world in LA and meeting someone and having in the back of my mind: are they really only on this date because they saw me on the show, or do they think I’m the person from the show? Because the way I was put out there is not really me. I have so much hesitation to get to know someone intimately [since] the show came out, and that’s only something I’ve had to really think about the past few months after my breakup.
I had this person who knew me before the show came out. She obviously wasn’t dating me because I was on a reality show. She had no idea when we started to date. And I look back and I’m like: wow, I got really lucky with that, but I’ll never have that again. Now, I’ll always probably have in the back of my mind: Do you want to date me, actually? Or do you want to date the person whom you saw on the show? Because you can say, “I’m dating the villain from the Queer Ultimatum.”
Did you watch the show with the person you dated after filming had long wrapped? Were you hesitant or anxious to be like: I don’t know how this person I love is going to see me depicted on TV — this almost disembodied version of you?
When I started to date my ex, I had to tell her: I’m going to be on a reality show with my ex. What a terrible thing to tell someone that you’re falling in love with. Number one, I’m going to be a public figure. And number two, you’re gonna have to watch a TV show of me making out with my ex. Crazy. She ended up watching it on her own, so I didn’t get to have the experience with her that I wanted to.
What I can say is, with my family and my friends and people who know me, when they watch the show: they see me. No matter how edited it is and spliced together, they know me. They know my humor. They know my reactions. They know everything. So they are all able to watch it and just laugh at it. But that’s clearly not how the public perceived it.
It was probably very hard for her to watch it, but I think she knew who I was at that point. We had been together for over a year.
It was hard for her to watch it. Was it hard for you to watch it?
Oh, my god, yes. I kept a diary every single day that we were there, because I didn’t want my own reality to get messed up. I would write down who I talked to, what our conversations were. So watching the show, I wanted to scream. “This is not what we were talking about. This is not what happened!” But then I just realized that’s what I signed up for, and I had no real perception of [being on] reality TV before, and I just had to accept it.
I watched the show with two of my best friends, Jordan and Kim, and it was just crazy how often I was pausing it and saying, “Okay, so this is what really happened,” and giving them the rundown. In that moment, I was like, “What the fuck is this?” But then also had to accept there’s no way to change it. I just knew that’s what it was, and I needed to accept it. Whatever you say to add to the conversation, whether you think you’re clarifying something, if they don’t like you and they’re dead set on disliking you, they will use any more information to just compile it somehow.
So I just stayed quiet and didn’t defend myself when my other cast members were coming out and making TikToks about me. People that I love, people I had no beef with, were still leaning into the villainhood of me because it made their social media blow up. And I just stayed silent because I knew there was nothing that I could do at that point to change people’s minds. Because they love a villain, and they had a villain in me.
Do you regret the experience?
It was the worst time of my life. I truly mean that [and] I hope that that remains the worst part of my life. I don’t regret it, because that was the reason that that relationship ended for me, and I genuinely don’t think it ever would have ended without that. That was something that I never would have had the strength to do. It was good for me in that way, but the experience was really a low point. I’m happy it’s in the past.
In this current period of time in your life, what’s keeping you passionate and happy? With the upcoming Lez Brunch theme being chosen family and friendships, how are you leaning into those relationships now?
The past few months are my first months being single, and so I’ve had a lot of time to spend with my friends — which has been so nice. I’ve missed relying on my friends for social situations, because I used to rely so heavily on my partner. It’s been really nice to have free time all the time. When my friends ask me to hang out, I can almost always say yes. And I’ve been doing a lot of reading. I’ve been painting little canvases that I’m going to put on my walls to decorate my apartment. I’ve been doing a lot of karaoke nights.
I’ve been really focusing on acting and honing in on that craft and really applying to projects and finding a new manager and just really setting myself up for success in the acting world. I just want to keep that momentum going. I’m really happy with where I am right now with that.
[With] Lez Brunch, I think there is such a different atmosphere surrounding that, because it’s not: come out late at night when you’re drunk and let’s party — which is pretty much all of the events other than Lez Brunch that I go to or host. It’s more of a hangout experience versus a nighttime event.
[When it comes to chosen family] I have so much empathy for people who are just trying to love the way they want to love, and because of that, they’ve experienced rejection by people who used to love them until they knew this one thing about them. It’s not a bad thing. It’s not a dangerous thing. It’s simply: I might love someone of the same gender.
So I love situations in queer communities where we’re boldly saying: If you can’t have your blood family, you can have your chosen family. We’re all here to support you and make you feel loved. And I feel like that’s what the theme of this Lez Brunch is. We are your chosen family. So come hang out and celebrate, and let’s all outpour love on each other.
Come join The Blade and Vanessa at Lez Brunch:
📅 Saturday, November 22 · 12PM–4PM (or as late as we want!)
📍 Blue Birdy
8917 Sunset Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90069
Next to the world-famous Whisky A Go Go on the Sunset Strip
a&e features
How Dropout is changing LA’s entertainment industry
While other production companies are rolling back on representation, this LA-based studio is making the queerest content you’ve ever seen.
It’s well-known that the portrayal of queer people in the media directly impacts their treatment in society. Whether it be gay relationships in sitcoms or trans people in film, viewers take lessons from these projects into how they treat these identities in real life. It’s why onscreen representation is essential, and why the entertainment industry’s long-documented discrimination towards LGBTQ+ performers is so unfortunate. In a city like Los Angeles filled with marginalized actors, it’s particularly devastating to see companies reinforce the unfair barriers that have always harmed our communities…and it’s why LA-based production company Dropout is more important now than ever.
Founded in 2018, Dropout has steadily become one of the biggest streaming services today. An evolution of the YouTube channel CollegeHumor, it’s made waves with inventive programming and an innovative approach to production — all while constantly spotlighting the best LGBTQ+ performers this city has to offer. The Los Angeles Blade sat down with CEO Sam Reich and performer Ally Beardsley to discuss how Dropout rose to become one of the most consistent sources of queer media. They broke down the many ways it not only platforms marginalized identities but nourishes up-and-coming performers, highlighting just how easily companies (and LA’s entertainment industry as a whole) can cultivate a culture based as much on creating great content as it is on inclusive respect.
When asked what it’s like working as an actor in LA, Sam Reich summarized the experience with three words: “It’s absolutely brutal.” And he would know better than your average CEO; before rising as the head of Dropout, Sam spent many years as an aspiring actor in both Los Angeles and New York. “This industry…it’s not only an industry with gatekeepers, but [one] of people who make their money gatekeeping.” He detailed the toxic casting practices that all performers face and the uniquely unfair ways that companies make it hard for new actors to find success. As productions primarily focus on multimillion dollar projects, these companies are unwilling to spare funds for new voices — voices that overwhelmingly belong to LGBTQ+ and POC creatives. This has created a bleak environment for these hopeful performers, one that Ally Beardsley knows well…or, at least, they did before Dropout.
“What I feel is absolutely not what other people are feeling,” said Ally, a nonbinary comedian who’s been a regular on Dropout for almost a decade. They described the grueling difficulties of trying to make it as an actor, ones that are intricately more difficult for LGBTQ+ performers who can find their identities disrespected at every step of the creative process. And then, they spoke on how they’ve largely evaded that treatment for years by being a part of Dropout, comically claiming that they feel, “Hashtag Blessed,” to be a regular with the company.
It’s an issue that has intensified in recent months, as a rise in conservative rhetoric has led to many companies going back on the commitments to DEI that they made in recent years. As shown in GLAAD’s Annual Studio Responsibility Index, this has led to a huge lull in inclusion as queer-centric shows continue to be cancelled while even more fail to create characters that mirror this diverse community. This has highlighted an alarming lack of representation in the media — a problem that Dropout has never had to deal with.
Whether it’s the constantly evolving Game Changer or hilariously informative Smartypants, Dropout’s many shows almost always feature openly LGBTQ+ performers in their casts. And this goes beyond just contestants; with famous Drag Queen Monét X Change and renowned comedians Vic Michaelis, Jordyn Myrick, and Mano Agapion, the streaming service makes history by having multiple programs hosted by openly queer artists. When asked how Dropout set such a high bar for inclusion, Sam Reich clarified, “It’s not that we are setting a high bar for inclusivity — I think that, in general, the bar is low for decency.”
“Are we being inclusive, or are we just not being exclusive?” The CEO went on. “We are trying to make the best comedy in LA, and a lot of the best comedians are queer and POC…so if we are being true to our goal, we are hiring them!” He described how the company actively creates an affirming workplace for these performers, not only recognizing their diverse identities but also the universal plight of being an actor today. “There are so many people who want to do this for a living that it’s easy to be taken advantage of,” he continued, going on to discuss how all creatives who come to Dropout with auditions or pitches are compensated — whether they’re cast or not. “We really try to discourage free work as much as possible.”
This is an almost unheard-of practice in LA, and it’s only a small part of the affirming environment that Ally has seen develop over their years with Dropout. “When a new person who just happens to be diverse shows up…everybody really has their back. And I think that’s so important, because when you have representation without support, you’re just leaving that person out to [fail].” Ally happily attested this culture to Sam’s actions as a CEO, ones that range from capping his own salary to secure fair pay for workers to ensuring that people’s pronouns are prominently listed on every call sheet to avoid misgendering.
These were accolades that the self-described “relatively straight white man” humbly refuted, saying that he cannot take sole credit for Dropout’s inclusivity. But as the interview wound down, he did express his hopes for a better entertainment industry in not only LA, but the entire country. From government funding for art programs to productions being open to new voices, he envisions a media where historically underserved performers are given the resources they deserve. And, when asked about his thoughts on the dismal rates of inclusion we’ve been seeing from other companies and streaming services, Sam had this to say.
“When Trump got re-elected, I think that a lot of Hollywood thought that ‘regressive content’ would be [popular], and I fundamentally don’t think that’s true. Dropout’s success is evidence of that.” After taking a moment, he continued, “The point of art is to connect us to our fellow human beings. And if you don’t have stories that come from a [wide] range of human experience, you’re just not fulfilling the purpose of art like that…and then why are any of us doing this at all?”
It’s a sentiment that all of LA’s entertainment industry could benefit from. And it’s one that Sam and Ally hope to spread across the city — one paid audition at a time.
Los Angeles Blade partners with the California LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce for 2026
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Los Angeles Blade partners with the California LGBTQ Chamber of Commerce for 2026
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