July 5, 2020 at 9:37 pm PDT | by Troy Masters
“Corey” becomes the gay male “Karen”

The gay party crowd of Fire Island Pines, NY will almost certainly hear from New York Governor Andrew Cuomo after an epic July 4 weekend Covid fail that saw hundreds of bare-faced, shirtless partiers jam the fabled enclave’s beaches, bars and house parties tighter than their speedos.

The events went viral on social media, revealing more than a few gay Covid-idiots who chose this 4th of July to come roaring out of the closet with a vengeance.

“Everyone knows I had covid. And you know what I did?  I sat in my fucking bed and quarantined myself for 8 fucking days. And suffered through Covid and now I’m out celebrating. So go fuck yourself; I hope all of you get fucking Covid, you nasty trolls,” said Corey Hannon, the allegedly 20 something, slightly Trump orange spray tanned New Yorker.

Hannon made an apology video that ultimate dug him in even deeper, claiming that he never got his test results back, that he was a victim of “cancel culture” and that he was being harassed by media and people online. He admits to visiting CVS for supplies and also to travelling into New Jersey for a spray tan while quarantined.

Hannon reportedly lost his job.

Another Covid party boy, Giancarlo Kristian Albanese, a currency analyst at EverythingFx who lives in White Plains put it more bluntly on Twitter: Fuck Your mask. Fuck your social distancing. Fuck your vaccine. Fuck your eugenics. Kiss my asshole if you think I’m an ass😂 His post was accompanied a photo of throngs of (like-minded) revelers, all of whom were observing no social distancing and wearing no masks.

After Albanese posted his sister chimed in, fearing for their parents, telling him he was not welcome to return home;  his parents, she wrote, are both over 70, his mother scheduled this week to begin chemotherapy and his father recovering from heart-surgery.

The community was roiled by the events. And at one point, helicopters were used to break up the crowds.

(Facebook post of Logan Slaughter)

It’s not the first time Fire Island Pines has been out of step in an epidemic. In the mid-90s the community came under fire for hosting circuit parties at the height of the AIDS crisis, parties that were known for celebrating sexual freedom — safely and unsafely — and for their open use of drugs (at the time ketamine, GHB and Crystal Meth). At one national seashore event, as doctors were trying to revive a reveler who severely overdosed, thousands of dancing gay men erupted into dance floor cheers when a medical helicopter landed which they mistook as Madonna arriving to entertain.

Fire Island has always been a place to escape reality, but reality has a way of creeping in.

The Fire Island Pines Property Owners Association sent the following message to the community:

With the unexpected parties in our community over this past weekend, I want to reassure you that FIPPOA has working with State and local officials to keep the community safe. We are extremely concerned about the health of our residents in the Pines. We are distressed by the irresponsible behavior of some residents and visitors.

We need your help. If you see something, say something. We urge you to report large gatherings immediately to 911.

Yesterday, I spoke to the Marine Bureau of the Suffolk County police, which provides police services to Fire Island, throughout the afternoon in order to have the large party on the beach shut down (FIPPOA does not regulate the beach). The police were present and monitoring the party but reluctant to disband it. Finally, additional police were sent, a helicopter flew over the party, and it disbanded in the early evening.

The numerous parties that occurred yesterday and were posted on social media drew the attention of Governor Cuomo. The Governor’s office was in touch with Suffolk County Executive Steve Bellone to enforce the Governor’s Executive Order forbidding the congregation of large groups and requiring masks or facial coverings in public.

Going forward, the following steps will be taken to keep Fire Island Pines and all Fire Island communities safe:

Parties on the beach forbidden
I talked today with the head of the Suffolk County Marine Bureau to clarify its policy. I was informed that the police will stop any beach party occurring on Fire Island henceforth. Tickets will be issued to anyone congregating in a party who refuses to comply with an order to disburse. Refusal can also result in arrest.

Social distancing or masks required on the beach
The policy of wearing masks on the beach has also been clarified. Beach goers are required to socially distance. In cases where a person cannot socially distance, he or she is required to wear a mask. This includes large groups of people sitting together on the beach. The groups must socially distance or each person must wear a mask.

House parties regulated and monitored
The police will be more vigilant with regard to enforcing the Executive Order with regard to house parties. Masks will be required at all parties and in any gathering where people cannot maintain social distancing. If the police are called to a house for any reason whatsoever, such as noise, the police will also enforce these Executive Orders as well.

FIPPOA is doing all we can to serve our community during these very difficult times. I wish you a safe evening.

Meanwhile in Los Angeles, the beaches were empty and the bars closed, along Santa Monica Boulevard (where fines of violating social distance and masking rules can incur a $5000 fine) a few people could be seen dining outdoors and walking, in masks, along the sparsely populated sidewalks.

 

 

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