“The booing is fucking us up. It’s messing with everyone’s mic. You can grimace and all that. All we hear is booing.” – Whoopi Goldberg admonishes the studio audience during Donald Trump Jr.’s appearance on “The View.” After the fiasco, Junior said, “I don’t think I’ve enjoyed an interview this much in my life.” And they say he’s the smart one!
A few years ago, I was sure I was having a stroke. I had the most excruciating pain in my head, blurred vision, dizziness, and some numbness. I looked up symptoms of a stroke, looked in the mirror for signs of drooping – which was no help since I always think my left side droops a bit. I didn’t feel up to driving to the ER, and was embarrassed to either call a friend or even an ambulance. What if I was fine? Needless to say, I did not have a stroke – I had my first migraine. Chely Wright found herself in the exact same position – with strikingly different results. “Exactly one year ago today, I went to the ER at Lenox Hill Hospital because I was on Day 3 of a migraine, which isn’t uncommon for me. Because I had shows booked for the coming weekend, I wanted to get this headache out of the way…After a series of diagnostic tests, I was informed that I’d had a stroke.” While the gay country singer is now fine, she shared her story as a cautionary tale. Don’t be like me – be like Chely!
Caitlyn Jenner is itching to get back to reality television. Rumors abound that Cait may appear on the UK competition “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!” Not only has she pitched herself to the show, the producers consider her a huge “get.” You know what else is huge about it? The paycheck. Allegedly, just for participating, Jenner would be paid roughly half a MILLION dollars.
More than 40 years ago, Studio One opened in West Hollywood and quickly became THE gay dance club in the country. Owner Scott Forbes was proud of saying, “Studio One was planned, designed and conceived for gay people, gay male people. Any straight people here are guests of the gay community. This is gay!” Like Studio 54 (which opened two years later), Studio One had the hottest male staff in the skimpiest outfits and attracted record numbers every night. The club also housed The Backlot, a theater that featured such performers as Joan Rivers, Chita Rivera, Barry Manilow, Divine, Rip Taylor, Eartha Kitt, Nancy Dussault, Mimi Hines, and moi. We even filmed the pilot for my talk show there. So I was thrilled to participate in the closing night event for the club (the space is being incorporated into a hotel and shopping plaza). The night kicked off with yours truly interviewing people on the red carpet. As to the show itself, I co-hosted with the irrepressible Bruce Vilanch. People like Freda Payne, Charlo Crossley and Thelma Houston blew the roof off the house. Who says you can’t go home again?
Alas, there’s no rest for the weary. The next day, I was off to see “The Lion in Winter” at the Laguna Playhouse, with a cast led by Frances Fisher and Gregory Harrison. I love the play, I love the performers, and I was entertained. But I had issues. While the set was attractive and serviceable, I found the lighting too bright and devoid of atmosphere, especially for a show set in 1183. There was a lack of gravitas from top to bottom. Everything seemed a tad too contemporary for my taste and mitigated the impact of this extraordinary text. Fisher gave the weightiest performance and surely has the chops for such a pivotal role. While Harrison commands the stage, he portrays Henry as an aging frat boy – the geniality of which belies the torment of the aging monarch. While not a perfect presentation, it’s still a rare opportunity to see a truly marvelous drama on stage. It runs through Nov. 24. You can get more details at LagunaPlayhouse.com.
Our “Ask Billy” question comes from Walter in Maine: “I just saw a photo of one of those ‘One Direction’ boys posing in underwear. He looked pretty grown-up to me. Do you have any of the pics?”
There are underwear shots, and then there are Liam Payne’s underwear shots for Hugo Boss. I’ll let Liam explain: “I hadn’t been properly warned about the amount of nudity Mert and Marcus do in their work, let’s say…I mean it was just a room full of five or six people and a hell of a lot of tequila to get me to this level. I was standing there and all of a sudden it was, ‘Right, OK, take them off.’ I’m like, ‘Really? Take them off? Off, off? Like on-the-floor off? Oh my God. And there was a real hollow moment afterwards where I was sitting outside smoking a cigarette thinking, ‘I have basically just shot soft-core porn.’” First, where did that body come from? And let’s not even discuss the basket – which is ginormous. Because a picture is worth a thousand words, and since I’m close to my limit, I’ll post a few thousand more at BillyMasters.com.
When Liam looks like he’s putting more than just eggs in his basket, it’s definitely time to end yet another column. With so much talent to take in, check out BillyMasters.com – the site that’ll give you something to stroke about. As for your questions, send them along to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Caitlyn is dancing with a real star! So, until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.