“I better hear no lip-syncing tomorrow.” — Lady Gaga, from the stage of her Miami show on All Super Bowl’s Eve. She added, “I love you, J. Lo. I love you Shakira.” I think she may love them a little less today. Shakira didn’t even attempt to hide her lip-syncing, while Lopez spent most of her stage time pole dancing.
My favorite part of the Super Bowl is the commercials. This year, we had Molly Ringwald hawking avocados, Winona Ryder doing something in the snow, MC Hammer selling Cheetos, a “Queer Eye” pushing Pop Tarts, Ellen and Portia extolling the virtues of Alexa, and a trio of Bostonians (Chris Evans, John Krasinski and Rachel Dratch) endorsing Hyundai. I was excited when I heard Sofia Vergara was in a commercial called, “When We Come Together.” Alas, it was nothing like I expected.
Then there was the spot for Sabra hummus starring Kim Chi and Miz Cracker. Many media outlets reported that this was the first time drag queens appeared in a Super Bowl commercial. Not true. Way back during the 2000 Super Bowl, RuPaul starred in a commercial for WebEx, a video conferencing site. Since the supermodel of the world wasn’t yet a household name, the commercial began with her saying, “This meeting is a real drag.” Check it out on BillyMasters.com.
Many of you have asked me about the Netflix docuseries, “Killer Inside: The Mind of Aaron Hernandez.” There’s been a lot of criticism that the show focuses too much on the former tight end’s sexual orientation. It even kicks off with the song “I’m Always Chasing Rainbows.” Subtle. In addition to his brain injuries, there is conjecture that his being outed on the radio led to his suicide two days later (an allegation echoed by Aaron’s brother). The doc spent an inordinate amount of time blaming his violent tendencies on his internal sexual conflict.
I’ve previously told you the allegations of former Marine, Dennis SanSoucie. He claims to have had a “relationship” with Aaron from 7th grade until they were juniors in high school. He also states that while Hernandez didn’t want to be gay, he “participated” with many people. “I was a small piece of Aaron’s sexual activity.” And yet, to the best of my knowledge, no other “participants” have come forward. Dennis says Aaron was terrified of his father finding out. “Mr. Hernandez was well-known as a man’s man; a father that slapped the faggot right out of you.” However, Mr. Hernandez died when his son was 16. It seems that rather than free Aaron, it made him snap. Of course, his mother shacking up with his favorite cousin’s husband probably didn’t help.
I don’t think the doc ever mentioned Aaron having beards or girlfriends – aside from his fiancée, Shayanna Jenkins. In a recent interview, Shayanna weighed in on all the speculation. “You can’t describe someone’s sexuality without them being here. Although I’ve had a child with Aaron, I still can’t tell you what he was feeling inside.” Her words came back to me during a sequence in the documentary where they played a prison call between the couple. When he mentions being in “an all-male jail…besides ‘those things'”, Shayanna chastises him. “Stop calling them ‘those things.’ Stop it. That is so rude. They are called transgender. Don’t call them ‘those things.'”
Across the pond, “Doctor Who” is making history. For those of you who don’t know, the titular character of the venerable series has been played by 13 actors since 1963. I read an article that “Doctor Who” is being played by Jodie Whittaker. Well, I got all excited – the little boy from “Family Affair” finally got a gig! Then I realized Johnny Whitaker PLAYED Jody (with a Y) on the show, twin to Buffy who died of an overdose as a teen. This Jodie Whittaker is a woman, and she’s been Doctor Who since 2017. The person playing the latest incarnation is actually Jo Martin, which is historic because Jo is the first Doctor Who of color (to say nothing of a female Doctor Who of color). And how clever of the Brits to do this right in the middle of Brexit and Megxit.
By the by, guess who returned to “Doctor Who?” Our very own John Barrowman – as Captain Jack, naturally. Why did it take Barrowman 10 years to rejoin to the franchise? Apparently the previous showrunner was not a fan. However, Chris Chibnall was recently hired – and he had previously been the showrunner for “Torchwood” (the “Doctor Who” spin-off starring Barrowman as Captain Jack). So that led the way to his return. Although Barrowman’s appearance was a one-off, I am told he could be back in the future.
When I can write so much about the Super Bowl without ever mentioning the game, it’s time to end yet another column. Let me quickly remind you to check out BillyMasters.com – the site that sticks to what it knows. If you have a question, drop an e-mail to Billy@BillyMasters.com and I promise to get back to you before Meghan Markle is cast as the next Doctor Who! Until next time, remember, one man’s filth is another man’s bible.